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> If you are running 30 minutes late, you are saying that whatever you did in those 30 minutes is significantly more important than the fact that the other pers
by newnewpdro 9y ago
> If you are running 30 minutes late, you are saying that whatever you did in those 30 minutes is significantly more important than the fact that the other person loses 30 minutes.
This is only true if the circumstances knowingly make the person stuck waiting for 30 minutes.
That's fairly exceptional, but some people do voluntarily wait for others doing nothing, when the participation of others is entirely optional for the activity - something I don't quite understand. But I have noticed people who do this often aren't really capable of being happy or content independently in general, which I consider a sign of immaturity. That's a different problem, and being punctual for them doesn't fix it.
- kenjackson 9y agoI'm not sure what you're talking about.
- maccard 9y agoI’m perfectly content to entertain myself, and to be in my own company. But if I make plans with you and you’re 30 minutes late, being pissed at you doesn’t make me immature. Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes things go wrong, that’s ok. But to be that guy who’s 30 mins late for a group dinner, or to go bowling or to the cinema, and to always have an excuse, that’s _you_ being immature because you’re clearly saying whatever You’re doing is more important than whatever we have planned. Set a reminder on your phone to beep 15 minutes before you need to get ready, and if you ignore it repeatedly, you’re the immature one.
- newnewpdro 9y agoBoth bowling and cinema are activities that are essentially still done alone even when done as a group. One person bowls at a time per lane, and watching movies in a theatre is pretty much a silent solitary experience unless you're being a nuisance. If someone's late to go bowling we/I start bowling without them. When they show up, they wait and join in at the next game, or get their own lane. If someone doesn't make it to the cinema before the show starts, I'm watching the movie I wanted to see without them. It's their loss, not mine, and I'm not waiting for them or upset - I'm seeing the movie I wanted to see. It makes relatively little difference to me if they're present for those activities. It's the activity that I'm principally interested in. Sure it's more fun to bowl with others, but only marginally. The last film I went out of my way to see with a friend, afterwards I didn't even understand why I bothered when the experience was largely unchanged from seeing it alone yet I drove across town to watch it sitting next to someone I knew, useful that. Surely you could come up with better examples than those for when to justifiably be upset with a person being late... I'm not even one of those people who's chronically late, I just don't see it as an issue worth fussing over in the vast majority of social circumstances.