5 ms·

Anecdotal but, I'm 36 and I made the most friends I have ever made in my life in the last two years. From doing the conference/retreat circuit to, surprisingl

by usful 9y ago

Anecdotal but, I'm 36 and I made the most friends I have ever made in my life in the last two years. From doing the conference/retreat circuit to, surprisingly, the festival circuit (Burning Man, Gratitude Migration, etc.) I've made a lot of close, real, amazing friends

InclinedPlane 9y ago
Yeah, I don't think this is exactly rocket science. I'm a pretty introverted and socially anxious person normally (so I don't like hanging out at random parties or talking to complete strangers or whatever) but I've made quite a lot of new friends consistently year over year. All it takes is putting in a bit of effort to do it. Engage in a few activities now and then, keep in touch with people, organize a thing once in a while. It turns out you can make lots of friends via friends of friends, coworkers, people you meet through various activities, etc. If you put no effort into it of course nobody is just going to randomly insert themselves into your life. And as you get older you don't have those common experiences of intermingling with lots of other people of similar ages or demographic backgrounds due to school, growing up, and so on. So put a little effort into it.
JimboOmega 9y ago
Similar reality (most of my friends since 30, I'm 35 now), very different origins. I changed a lot as a person after 30 - I moved to the bay area for one thing. I also transitioned... which let me meet other women in more feminine contexts (IE, fans of a clothing brand). I also met a lot of people who became friends through dating. Almost all of my friends that I see regularly I met in the last 5 years or so.
- usful 9y ago
  Wow thats amazing! Congrats on being more of your self.
pteredactyl 9y ago
Congrats ( not sarc! )
- ionforce 9y ago
  Is there an operator/annotation that is the opposite of '/s', like I'm being genuine? !/s /g
  - InclinedPlane 9y ago
    (Clippy): it looks like you're trying to write a Perl program, how can I help?
    - ionforce 9y ago
      Clippy, get back in the drawer! No one called for you!
  - colanderman 9y ago
    I use the smiley face emoji (":)") to convey this sentiment.
tluyben2 9y ago
I an 43 and met my current best friend circle after 30 and 2 of them after 40. My highschool friends just did not click anymore and I do like long conversations about tech, so I find people that like that as well and make quite deep friendships that last a long time.
- usful 9y ago
  Right. I feel like I changed into a whole new person, and all my old friends decided to stay the same. Which is fine, but they aren't people I want to spend lots of time with anymore.
djsumdog 9y ago
I feel like I'm in the same boat. I got a holiday work visa and lived in Australia when I was 29, and New Zealand until I was 32. For the past decade, I've never lived in the same city for more than three years. Meetup.com, swing dancing, reddit meetups, board game nights, spoken word poetry, comedy open mics, theater, contra dancing are just a couple of the things I try to get involved in (I get burnt out on a few and rotate hobbies; dropping in and out of scenes). It usually takes me about a year to a year and a half to make a solid group of friends in a city, but the friends I've made, I've kept in touch with all around the world. Going back to my home town was amazing too, even though so many people I knew had moved on. I wrote some blog posts about being nomadic: https://khanism.org/perspective/a-tale-of-two-journeys/ https://khanism.org/perspective/a-tale-of-two-journeys/ https://khanism.org/perspective/minimalism/ https://khanism.org/perspective/minimalism/
batushka2 9y ago
If you really love music, such festivals are full of interesting older ravers, open to conversation to begin with.

by usful 9y ago

InclinedPlane 9y ago

Yeah, I don't think this is exactly rocket science. I'm a pretty introverted and socially anxious person normally (so I don't like hanging out at random parties or talking to complete strangers or whatever) but I've made quite a lot of new friends consistently year over year. All it takes is putting in a bit of effort to do it. Engage in a few activities now and then, keep in touch with people, organize a thing once in a while. It turns out you can make lots of friends via friends of friends, coworkers, people you meet through various activities, etc. If you put no effort into it of course nobody is just going to randomly insert themselves into your life. And as you get older you don't have those common experiences of intermingling with lots of other people of similar ages or demographic backgrounds due to school, growing up, and so on. So put a little effort into it.

JimboOmega 9y ago

Similar reality (most of my friends since 30, I'm 35 now), very different origins. I changed a lot as a person after 30 - I moved to the bay area for one thing. I also transitioned... which let me meet other women in more feminine contexts (IE, fans of a clothing brand). I also met a lot of people who became friends through dating. Almost all of my friends that I see regularly I met in the last 5 years or so.

usful 9y ago
Wow thats amazing! Congrats on being more of your self.

pteredactyl 9y ago

Congrats ( not sarc! )

ionforce 9y ago
Is there an operator/annotation that is the opposite of '/s', like I'm being genuine? !/s /g
- InclinedPlane 9y ago
  (Clippy): it looks like you're trying to write a Perl program, how can I help?
  - ionforce 9y ago
    Clippy, get back in the drawer! No one called for you!
- colanderman 9y ago
  I use the smiley face emoji (":)") to convey this sentiment.

tluyben2 9y ago

I an 43 and met my current best friend circle after 30 and 2 of them after 40. My highschool friends just did not click anymore and I do like long conversations about tech, so I find people that like that as well and make quite deep friendships that last a long time.

usful 9y ago
Right. I feel like I changed into a whole new person, and all my old friends decided to stay the same. Which is fine, but they aren't people I want to spend lots of time with anymore.

djsumdog 9y ago

I feel like I'm in the same boat. I got a holiday work visa and lived in Australia when I was 29, and New Zealand until I was 32. For the past decade, I've never lived in the same city for more than three years. Meetup.com, swing dancing, reddit meetups, board game nights, spoken word poetry, comedy open mics, theater, contra dancing are just a couple of the things I try to get involved in (I get burnt out on a few and rotate hobbies; dropping in and out of scenes). It usually takes me about a year to a year and a half to make a solid group of friends in a city, but the friends I've made, I've kept in touch with all around the world. Going back to my home town was amazing too, even though so many people I knew had moved on. I wrote some blog posts about being nomadic: https://khanism.org/perspective/a-tale-of-two-journeys/ https://khanism.org/perspective/a-tale-of-two-journeys/ https://khanism.org/perspective/minimalism/ https://khanism.org/perspective/minimalism/

batushka2 9y ago

If you really love music, such festivals are full of interesting older ravers, open to conversation to begin with.