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Who wants friends over 30? I like to make friends with young people. In all seriousness, at 42 I really do prefer to hang out with 20-somethings because they’r

Who wants friends over 30? I like to make friends with young people. In all seriousness, at 42 I really do prefer to hang out with 20-somethings because they’re fun.

derekp7 9y ago
In a similar, but opposite direction, I've found (in my mid, now late 40's) that I really enjoy the company of my Dad's friends. They have interesting life stories, are brilliant, and I've got a wide enough range of interests that it is easy to find common ground.
hkmurakami 9y ago
As a ~30 year old, I truly enjoy the company of my 45--75 year old friends.
- psyc 9y ago
  I’m the same. I find older middle aged people easier to talk to, more interesting, and smaller-egoed as a group.
  - yowlingcat 9y ago
    Another +1. You just can't beat that collected wisdom. I've complained about something that seemed so menial, only for my friend to make a really insightful quip about a pattern he's seen in my work life that, although didn't map 100%, reflected more deeply paid attention than almost all of my friends in my 20-something age group.
  - ryandrake 9y ago
    My conversations with folks of that “era” always seem to be more diverse, interesting and surprising. You never know what direction the conversation will go when you meet someone new. I have a few hobbies where the practitioners tend toward older and through these activities met exceptional people. I love hearing about the the war, Woodstock, actual political change, the drug fueled 70s, etc. Interesting careers that you never knew even existed. I met a ferry pilot who flew private airplanes people just bought internationally to their new owners! I could listen to that guy’s stories for hours. Contrast that with my interactions with people my own age and younger: Topics inevitably fall to vapid TV shows and sports, celebrity gossip, This Gadget I Bought, where I partied last week, my office co-workers suck, etc. Wake me up when it’s over!
    - amyjess 9y ago
      The thing though is that I want a peer. I want someone with a similar outlook on life who I can muddle through life with. The people you describe all sound like fascinating characters, but they're not peers. I'm 33, and I don't even see people my age as peers. I'm still a big kid at heart, and when I see people my age who are getting married, having kids, climbing the career ladder, it just reinforces that people my age just aren't my peers. I have no interest in ever getting married or having kids, and I have no career ambition. I identify more with people who are a decade younger than me than anyone else. Most people I've seen who are my age come off as more peers to my parents than as peers to me (this was especially jarring the last time I visited my cousins; they're only a few years older than me, but they have three kids each now, they reminded me so much of my mom, while I still see myself as an overgrown kid... by the time their children are old enough to have conversations with I'll probably have more in common with them than with any family members of my generation).
      - psyc 9y ago
        I'm a child-free man. My best friend of 12 years is a mother of 2, and 10 years older than me. We're extremely similar people, with extremely similar interests. We just have completely different daily lives. I'd really struggle to think of her as not a peer. But my identification goes in the opposite direction - I identify more more older people. So it's possible you could find peers among 20-somethings?
        amyjess 9y ago
        For the record, it's not that I see _every_ person who has kids as "not a peer", just most of them. The few I do see as peers are by and large the people who had kids by accident and didn't spend their whole lives dreaming of being a parent.
groby_b 9y ago
Oh dear God, no. 20-somethings... have a bit of living to do before they're interesting. Don't get me wrong, being 20 is awesome. When you're 20. Because you suddenly have so much freedom. But when you're in your 40s, that's not that exciting any more. Well, at least it isn't for me. I've done the crazy things, I know how they end. I like friends with a bit more perspective.
- amyjess 9y ago
  Honestly, what I want is someone like me to muddle through life with. And simply put, most people over 30 aren't going to be "like me" in the least. Most of them are family-minded, career-minded, or both. I'm just not going to have much in common with someone who's married and either has kids or is trying to have kids, nor am I going to have anything in common with someone who's trying to aggressively climb the career ladder. The people I have the most in common with and see as peers are by and large slackers in their 20s, not people my age. I'm 33, and the disconnect between me and most people my age is really jarring... I see most people my age as having more in common with my parents than me (this was especially noticeable the last time I saw my cousins in person... they're only a few years older than me, but they act just like my mom did at their age, while I'm still a big kid... I really feel like most people of my generation are effectively of an older generation).

Who wants friends over 30? I like to make friends with young people. In all seriousness, at 42 I really do prefer to hang out with 20-somethings because they’re fun.

derekp7 9y ago

In a similar, but opposite direction, I've found (in my mid, now late 40's) that I really enjoy the company of my Dad's friends. They have interesting life stories, are brilliant, and I've got a wide enough range of interests that it is easy to find common ground.

hkmurakami 9y ago

As a ~30 year old, I truly enjoy the company of my 45--75 year old friends.

psyc 9y ago
I’m the same. I find older middle aged people easier to talk to, more interesting, and smaller-egoed as a group.
- yowlingcat 9y ago
  Another +1. You just can't beat that collected wisdom. I've complained about something that seemed so menial, only for my friend to make a really insightful quip about a pattern he's seen in my work life that, although didn't map 100%, reflected more deeply paid attention than almost all of my friends in my 20-something age group.
- ryandrake 9y ago
  My conversations with folks of that “era” always seem to be more diverse, interesting and surprising. You never know what direction the conversation will go when you meet someone new. I have a few hobbies where the practitioners tend toward older and through these activities met exceptional people. I love hearing about the the war, Woodstock, actual political change, the drug fueled 70s, etc. Interesting careers that you never knew even existed. I met a ferry pilot who flew private airplanes people just bought internationally to their new owners! I could listen to that guy’s stories for hours. Contrast that with my interactions with people my own age and younger: Topics inevitably fall to vapid TV shows and sports, celebrity gossip, This Gadget I Bought, where I partied last week, my office co-workers suck, etc. Wake me up when it’s over!
  - amyjess 9y ago
    The thing though is that I want a peer. I want someone with a similar outlook on life who I can muddle through life with. The people you describe all sound like fascinating characters, but they're not peers. I'm 33, and I don't even see people my age as peers. I'm still a big kid at heart, and when I see people my age who are getting married, having kids, climbing the career ladder, it just reinforces that people my age just aren't my peers. I have no interest in ever getting married or having kids, and I have no career ambition. I identify more with people who are a decade younger than me than anyone else. Most people I've seen who are my age come off as more peers to my parents than as peers to me (this was especially jarring the last time I visited my cousins; they're only a few years older than me, but they have three kids each now, they reminded me so much of my mom, while I still see myself as an overgrown kid... by the time their children are old enough to have conversations with I'll probably have more in common with them than with any family members of my generation).
    - psyc 9y ago
      I'm a child-free man. My best friend of 12 years is a mother of 2, and 10 years older than me. We're extremely similar people, with extremely similar interests. We just have completely different daily lives. I'd really struggle to think of her as not a peer. But my identification goes in the opposite direction - I identify more more older people. So it's possible you could find peers among 20-somethings?
      - amyjess 9y ago
        For the record, it's not that I see _every_ person who has kids as "not a peer", just most of them. The few I do see as peers are by and large the people who had kids by accident and didn't spend their whole lives dreaming of being a parent.

groby_b 9y ago

Oh dear God, no. 20-somethings... have a bit of living to do before they're interesting. Don't get me wrong, being 20 is awesome. When you're 20. Because you suddenly have so much freedom. But when you're in your 40s, that's not that exciting any more. Well, at least it isn't for me. I've done the crazy things, I know how they end. I like friends with a bit more perspective.

amyjess 9y ago
Honestly, what I want is someone like me to muddle through life with. And simply put, most people over 30 aren't going to be "like me" in the least. Most of them are family-minded, career-minded, or both. I'm just not going to have much in common with someone who's married and either has kids or is trying to have kids, nor am I going to have anything in common with someone who's trying to aggressively climb the career ladder. The people I have the most in common with and see as peers are by and large slackers in their 20s, not people my age. I'm 33, and the disconnect between me and most people my age is really jarring... I see most people my age as having more in common with my parents than me (this was especially noticeable the last time I saw my cousins in person... they're only a few years older than me, but they act just like my mom did at their age, while I'm still a big kid... I really feel like most people of my generation are effectively of an older generation).