4 ms·

That's an absurd comparison. Most women have sex with their husbands willingly because they like sex and they like their husband. Prostitution is a quid pro quo

That's an absurd comparison. Most women have sex with their husbands willingly because they like sex and they like their husband. Prostitution is a quid pro quo business arrangement. Of course, sugar-daddy type relationships do exist, but they are not the norm. Consider the example of your own parents. Is your mother akin to a prostitute because she had sex with your dad at the same time that he may have been providing for her material needs?

DoreenMichele 9y ago
Is your mother akin to a prostitute because she had sex with your dad at the same time that he may have been providing for her material needs? This is a dirty tactic. It is not good faith engagement. I'm a woman who has a strict no dating policy, by which I mean that I don't establish romantic relationships based on some man spending money on me. I am entirely satisfied with the positive impact that policy has had on my life. From what I have read and heard over the years, no, most women don't have sex with their husband because they like him. There are relationships like that, certainly. But the financial factor pretty clearly poisons quite a lot of relationships. I often think this should be the foundational argument as to why men should be more invested in helping make gender parity happen. If you are a well paid man and tired of feeling like women only date you for your money, fostering a world in which women have money of their own on pat with men is the single best antidote to your dating problem. As just one supporting citation, this article talks about the fact that pro athletes frequently marry their high school sweetheart because you can't trust that women who met you after you struck it rich really like you. They may just be there for the money. (The article does not use those exact words, but that is the gist of it.) https://www.si.com/vault/2009/03/23/105789480/how-and-why-athletes-go-broke https://www.si.com/vault/2009/03/23/105789480/how-and-why-at... There are also rap song lyrics about how poor men from the hood can't get a date, but once they strike it rich "it's a puss buffet." I have read articles where, for example, a guy lost his job and his wife quit having sex with him. He stated that he learned his paycheck was the most attractive thing about him. A friend of a friend lost his well paid job and his wife left him because "it wasn't any fun anymore." The term gold digging whore is a gendered term. It exists because men typically make a lot more than women and a lot of women are primarily interested in finding someone to pay their bills. This is compounded by the difficulties women face in pursuing serious careers of their own. While I was homeless, no one wanted to open doors for me career wise. But lots of men wanted to offer me money or a place to stay if I would sleep with them. In my experience, this problem runs shockingly deep. If your romantic relationships are unaffected by it, count yourself lucky.
- root_axis 9y ago
  > This is a dirty tactic. It is not good faith engagement. It's not a dirty tactic, it's an analogy meant to snap the reader out of reductive thinking. It's easy to throw out these kind of generalizations when you reduce people to animals, but when you're forced to consider individuals from a human perspective (like in the case of your own mother) suddenly there is a wave of humanizing rationalizations to explain why characterizing marriage as glorified prostitution doesn't really apply in grandma's case. > most women don't have sex with their husband because they like him Neither one of us can prove what is in the head of most women when they get into bed with their husbands, but it seems absurd to generally ascribe a financial motivation for married sex-life. Women like sex too, some more than others, it doesn't make a woman a whore if she also enjoys financial support (and you know, all the other qualities that people care about in lasting relationships. > If you are a well paid man and tired of feeling like women only date you for your money, fostering a world in which women have money of their own on pat with men is the single best antidote to your dating problem This simply isn't a problem for the vast majority of people. Most eligible bachelors do not make enough money to such an effect where they have to be worried about goldiggers beyond the normal common-sense signs. > As just one supporting citation, this article talks about the fact that pro athletes frequently marry their high school sweetheart because you can't trust that women who met you after you struck it rich really like you Individuals with multimillion dollar salaries are clear outliers that have to contend with the impact of their wealth in every personal relationship, trying to generalize that example to the general population doesn't make sense. > There are also rap song lyrics about how poor men from the hood can't get a date, but once they strike it rich "it's a puss buffet." Once again, if you become rich and famous you are an outlier that is pointless to apply as a general rule. Also, as someone from the hood, where almost every individual is poor, I promise you that there are LOTS of dates and LOTS of sex, even for broke guys, the most common distinction between guys getting dates and those who are not is confidence, looks, and a sense of humor. > a guy lost his job and his wife quit having sex with him Yeah... nobody is saying that doesn't happen, but that is obviously not a common occurrence as any married man who has been unemployed can attest to. > While I was homeless, no one wanted to open doors for me career wise. But lots of men wanted to offer me money or a place to stay if I would sleep with them. The fact that men have solicited you has means nothing with regard to the nature of sex within marriage.

DoreenMichele 9y ago

Is your mother akin to a prostitute because she had sex with your dad at the same time that he may have been providing for her material needs? This is a dirty tactic. It is not good faith engagement. I'm a woman who has a strict no dating policy, by which I mean that I don't establish romantic relationships based on some man spending money on me. I am entirely satisfied with the positive impact that policy has had on my life. From what I have read and heard over the years, no, most women don't have sex with their husband because they like him. There are relationships like that, certainly. But the financial factor pretty clearly poisons quite a lot of relationships. I often think this should be the foundational argument as to why men should be more invested in helping make gender parity happen. If you are a well paid man and tired of feeling like women only date you for your money, fostering a world in which women have money of their own on pat with men is the single best antidote to your dating problem. As just one supporting citation, this article talks about the fact that pro athletes frequently marry their high school sweetheart because you can't trust that women who met you after you struck it rich really like you. They may just be there for the money. (The article does not use those exact words, but that is the gist of it.) https://www.si.com/vault/2009/03/23/105789480/how-and-why-athletes-go-broke https://www.si.com/vault/2009/03/23/105789480/how-and-why-at... There are also rap song lyrics about how poor men from the hood can't get a date, but once they strike it rich "it's a puss buffet." I have read articles where, for example, a guy lost his job and his wife quit having sex with him. He stated that he learned his paycheck was the most attractive thing about him. A friend of a friend lost his well paid job and his wife left him because "it wasn't any fun anymore." The term gold digging whore is a gendered term. It exists because men typically make a lot more than women and a lot of women are primarily interested in finding someone to pay their bills. This is compounded by the difficulties women face in pursuing serious careers of their own. While I was homeless, no one wanted to open doors for me career wise. But lots of men wanted to offer me money or a place to stay if I would sleep with them. In my experience, this problem runs shockingly deep. If your romantic relationships are unaffected by it, count yourself lucky.

root_axis 9y ago
> This is a dirty tactic. It is not good faith engagement. It's not a dirty tactic, it's an analogy meant to snap the reader out of reductive thinking. It's easy to throw out these kind of generalizations when you reduce people to animals, but when you're forced to consider individuals from a human perspective (like in the case of your own mother) suddenly there is a wave of humanizing rationalizations to explain why characterizing marriage as glorified prostitution doesn't really apply in grandma's case. > most women don't have sex with their husband because they like him Neither one of us can prove what is in the head of most women when they get into bed with their husbands, but it seems absurd to generally ascribe a financial motivation for married sex-life. Women like sex too, some more than others, it doesn't make a woman a whore if she also enjoys financial support (and you know, all the other qualities that people care about in lasting relationships. > If you are a well paid man and tired of feeling like women only date you for your money, fostering a world in which women have money of their own on pat with men is the single best antidote to your dating problem This simply isn't a problem for the vast majority of people. Most eligible bachelors do not make enough money to such an effect where they have to be worried about goldiggers beyond the normal common-sense signs. > As just one supporting citation, this article talks about the fact that pro athletes frequently marry their high school sweetheart because you can't trust that women who met you after you struck it rich really like you Individuals with multimillion dollar salaries are clear outliers that have to contend with the impact of their wealth in every personal relationship, trying to generalize that example to the general population doesn't make sense. > There are also rap song lyrics about how poor men from the hood can't get a date, but once they strike it rich "it's a puss buffet." Once again, if you become rich and famous you are an outlier that is pointless to apply as a general rule. Also, as someone from the hood, where almost every individual is poor, I promise you that there are LOTS of dates and LOTS of sex, even for broke guys, the most common distinction between guys getting dates and those who are not is confidence, looks, and a sense of humor. > a guy lost his job and his wife quit having sex with him Yeah... nobody is saying that doesn't happen, but that is obviously not a common occurrence as any married man who has been unemployed can attest to. > While I was homeless, no one wanted to open doors for me career wise. But lots of men wanted to offer me money or a place to stay if I would sleep with them. The fact that men have solicited you has means nothing with regard to the nature of sex within marriage.