8 ms·

I can relate a lot. I'm still burning through self-motivation hacks at 35, some of which are helping while most don't. Eventually, the hack with by far the lar

I can relate a lot. I'm still burning through self-motivation hacks at 35, some of which are helping while most don't. Eventually, the hack with by far the largest impact (which brought me to currently being cofounder and CTO of one of the more successful German startups) was realizing that while I simply suck at self-motivating, I never had a problem getting stuff done when working for others. I effortlessly produced two albums for other artists, while I still haven't finished my own single release after 20 years. I tried to build my own company three times and failed miserably. Eventually, I "just" found the right teams and eventually cofounders with a great vision and lots of focus who constantly pull and motivate me to do the stuff I'm really good at (which is building teams, sharing knowledge and architecturing systems). So I've just made my peace with the fact that I need someone else to get me started every day and just stopped fussing around it. My talents are somewhere else and I've got lots of creativity and intelligence to make up for my lack of structure. Stop focusing on your weaknesses. KNOW your weaknesses, but don't beat yourself up for it. Also know your strengths (which is often times the other side of ADHD). Practice self-love every day. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Let me end with a quote of probably one of the greatest procrastinators out there: > "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." — Douglas Adams You're not alone. And it's gonna be fine.

FearNotDaniel 9y ago
This is a very encouraging testimony, thank you for your honesty. I am wondering: were you up-front with your cofounders about these issues when first coming together to start the business, or is it something that you just kind of brushed under the carpet and hoped that it would somehow work out (and it sounds like it did)? Or otherwise, were you aware of it enough at the time that you knew what to look for in your cofounders to bring out the best in you? Great product by the way - via your profile I've just visited JustWatch for the first time and I'm glad to say it solves a RealProblem™ in my life. Consider yourself bookmarked!
- endymi0n 9y ago
  Hey, of course this didn't come out of nowhere. After lots of failures on my own ambitions right after college, I eventually caved in (completely broke) and started a job in tech support to pay the bills. It was only then — where I got my problems and structure from an external source — that I started really excelling. I eventually automated my job away, worked my way up through engineering into a Lead Architect position and started looking like a credible CTO position — meanwhile I had started doing therapy and coming to grips with accepting my real self. So in the end, yes, I was pretty honest with my cofounders. Funny thing is that as long as someone else is setting the goalposts and calling the shots, I'm running super smooth, even in a lead role. I guess most people who don't know me a bit better wouldn't even notice I had these issues. BTW this piece from Tim Ferriss helped me accept my own spiky personality a bit better a few years ago - as there's apparently lots of unexpected upvotes, maybe it might help others too :) https://tim.blog/2013/11/03/productivity-hacks/ https://tim.blog/2013/11/03/productivity-hacks/
  - Fuddh 9y ago
    Hey - just wanted to let you know that I really identify with the comments you made here today. I just read the blog you linked and I think it could help me a lot. I struggle with excessive procrastination on a daily basis and seeing the stuff that generally gets posted on the topic of 'productivity' here and for example LinkedIn doesn't track with me at all since it tends to focus on doing massive amounts of work every single day with a 'just do it' mindset. All that does is stress me out, and I often feel like I'm not the right type of person to achieve things. Your view on the topic has given me some well needed positivity - thank you!
    - endymi0n 9y ago
      You're welcome. I'll just leave this final piece of advice here, which I would say is the distilled essence of wisdom I've worked hard for in the last decade — whether it might reach you at the point you currently are or not: It's not that when you have your procrastination issues covered, that you will finally be able to accept and trust yourself. It is that when you finally accept and trust yourself, you will be able to have your procrastination issues covered. It may sound cheesy and simple, but trust me that it's correct. Getting there is a whole different game, it took me 10 years for the first 80% and I fear the last 20% will take the rest of my life.
viraptor 9y ago
Very much the same. While I can do work myself, I get much more done with others. I'd get distracted or tired if I worked alone, but on a call with someone else I can go for hours, or often until they say they need a break. It helps.
- brixon 9y ago
  My only motivation is others. I would not do well in a solo work environment. The main driver for me to even clean my house is for my son.
qxzw 9y ago
Have you ever tried medication? For me personally it's even worse when working for others. Even went to the therapist, but she said they don't prescribe stuff like Adderall (don't even have it), and solution is just therapy in form of talking, which had zero effect (she asked questions I asked myself when I was 15). Really curious about Adderall.
- ams6110 9y ago
  Your therapist should be able to refer you to an MD for meds, if she thinks that would help.
  - qxzw 9y ago
    Trouble is there are no amphetamines as meds in my backwards country.
- endymi0n 9y ago
  Went through Ritalin (normal & XR), amphetamine, SSRI and tricyclic antidepressants, but in hindsight none of those gave me much leverage... just left me with holes in my short term memory I'm still regularly annoyed by. YMMV of course, I'm not a doctor and results in this space vary wildly. The really large improvements came from external structure and therapy. BTW I experienced pretty much the same as you did in the beginning, it was only the third therapist who asked the really uncomfortable questions and went in deep. The others were just a waste of time. The difference between good and bad therapists is several orders of magnitude and a personal connection matters. Don't give up and try to get recommendations.
  - raducu 9y ago
    Ritalin and amphetamine did not improve your focus/motivation? Not even the first couple of times you tried them?
    - giblaz 9y ago
      Adderall helps me with focus and motivation but it makes me feel absolutely not like myself. I've done various drugs throughout my life but the feeling I had on Adderall was honestly downright scary once I had wrapped up the programming tasks I set out to do on it.
orblivion 9y ago
So here's a question - what if I am of this disposition but I have a lot of ideas? And I would not be satisfied with life unless I'm pursuing them? Is there a way to reach out to find people to be in charge of me to execute on my ideas? Does anybody want to do that? (These are not necessarily businesses)
- bluejekyll 9y ago
  > Is there a way to reach out to find people to be in charge of me to execute on my ideas? If it were a business, these would probably be your customers, you usually reach out to them via sales. If instead these are ideas (software) that you want to explore, open-source is a great avenue. As you gain users, issues filed for new features or against bugs become your motivation. To gain users in OSS, you generally need to publicize through a blog or something. > Does anybody want to do that? Just find users, and they’ll do it organically.
- dnate 9y ago
  Sure, if you can pay a CEO salary. That is literally the job of a CEO. He executes. People argue that money is never as good a motivator as true passion is. I am not taking sides on that matter, it is just something to consider.
  - che_shirecat 9y ago
    I don't normally think the default "he" as a singular gender-neutral pronoun is a big deal but in this case when describing the ideal of a CEO I would suggest that you use the singular "they" or "he/she" or risk giving the impression of promoting outdated gender roles
    - oreo81 9y ago
      LMAO wow
- Denzel 9y ago
  Take this with a heavy grain of salt. It's an idea I've had -- even though I don't have motivation problems -- that I have yet to do. (I plan to within the next three months.) Hire a part-time project manager. A good project manager is immensely helpful in (1) teasing out and decoupling requirements, (2) producing a work-breakdown structure (WBS), (3) setting a schedule/timeline for execution, (4) assessing risks, and finally (5) controlling activity and adherence to the schedule. These are all activities that suck to do alone. A project manager offers a useful organizer and controller. Basically, they represent a forcing function. Just like personal trainers help unmotivated people stay in-shape, I think a personal part-time project manager would help you follow through on your projects.
bitL 9y ago
I have a music studio in central Germany. Wanna do a single together? ;-)
- endymi0n 9y ago
  I'm in. Just add me on LinkedIn :)
aj7 9y ago
I’m just like you although I doubt as successful. This is very very good feedback for this person.
narrator 9y ago
Working with someone else who holds me accountable creates a bizarre amount of motivation for me. There is certainly something hard-wired in humanity about working in groups.
- rconti 9y ago
  Gretchen Rubin has a podcast and books; she has a concept of personality types. I can't remember them all, but one is "Obliger", where you're more likely to meet outside expectations than your own. I've got a lot of that myself.
  - rzzzt 9y ago
    She has a blog post on them: https://gretchenrubin.com/2013/01/four-personality-types-which-one-are-you/ https://gretchenrubin.com/2013/01/four-personality-types-whi...
b0rsuk 9y ago
I agree that knowing yourself is important. It's no use forcing yourself to do things you clearly don't enjoy. However, I want to share a motivational hack with you. I have a bad back. By far the best treatment I got is regular exercise. Later, because of vanity, and because I was always a skinny nerd, I started adding exercises that weren't exactly critical. Okay, I acquired "runner's knee", so it was initially squats. But there's no strict need for push-ups, cycling, pull-ups. I do those for vanity. I like the way I look compared to my peers, even much younger ones. I sweat like hell during some exercises, like when I do 5 sets of squats 3 times a week. But I manage to pull through. ...and... at some point I realized, if I have (or just developed) enough willpower to persist with these often exhausting exercises, why can't I apply the same persistence to practicing programming ? It turns out... I can. Working out HARD is difficult. So is programming. Working out taught me to not get discouraged doing things I know have merit. To keep trying, and use different approaches if the last one didn't work. There's a bit of overlap between working out and programming. It helped that the other alternative I have is software testing. Reading through the ISTQB materials, and writing some tests I realized this stuff bores me almost to tears. Software testing is important and useful, yes. But it's also a lot of copy&paste work, boilerplates, and you're discouraged from using creative code. Do Repeat Yourself. I make many errors when using copy&paste in code, because monotony puts me to sleep. I forget to update some variable name. Some programming languages, like Rust, have compilers picky enough to reduce the need for software testing. And at the end of the day, you're looking for holes in someone else's work, and the skills you pick up can't be later used in a fun side project. The bottom line: regular exercise can change your perspective. Realizing other alternatives are boring can change your perspective.
rattray 9y ago
Honestly I would second the idea of just joining a company as an FTE (full time employee). Find a place you really like, interview them at least as much as they interview you, and probably say "no" to 5-10 companies before signing on with one of them. Or maybe just join your favorite client full-time if there's one that would work. Give it a shot for a year, you might like it. (source: have freelanced/founded, never thought I'd like working for others).
- double0jimb0 9y ago
  FTE stands for ‘full time equivalent’ http://smallbusiness.chron.com/calculate-fte-742.html http://smallbusiness.chron.com/calculate-fte-742.html
  - dragonwriter 9y ago
    It's frequently used to mean “Full Time Employee” (distinct from both a part timer and a contractor), probably originally by people who have overheard the HR speak and misunderstood what it is referring to, but the use seems to be established on its own at this point.
    - Zeebrommer 9y ago
      That's a shame because it's pretty useful to say e.g. you're in a 15 FTE company with about 20 colleagues.
RangerScience 9y ago
I think this idea is fantastic, and here's another reason: You have a giant grab-bag of motivational tricks to teach your mentees. Dealing with this issue didn't result in the strength you wanted, but it sure as shit gave you some strengths anyway.
mcv 9y ago
Man, this is so recognisable. I've always had problems with self-motivation and discipline, and especially when working on my own projects. The first year I was self-employed, I had ambitious ideas about my own projects. I had a toddler at the time, and I had some great ideas for multi-lingual mobile games for toddlers (most are just in English). I started on one, but messed about so much (trying to learn Photoshop on my own, switching frameworks, reading about other stuff), while worrying about all the parts I wouldn't be able to do myself (graphics, music) that I never got anywhere. Then I became a freelancer on other people's projects (mostly banks lately), and that's going fine and pays very well. But when I think about all the time I wasted not getting anything done on my own projects... Best thing I did for my own project, was tutoring a friend who'd just switched from medical psychology research to programming. We worked on my hobby project together, and that at least got me going. Working for others is so much easier than working for yourself. Fucking up my own ideas doesn't hurt anyone but me, but a paying client, that certainly helps motivation.
mobilemidget 9y ago
Practice self love.. (very good to do, but ) it made me think, doesn’t this all have much to do with not being able to impress oneself anymore?
kpennell 9y ago
thx so much for writing this. what a helpful comment.

FearNotDaniel 9y ago

This is a very encouraging testimony, thank you for your honesty. I am wondering: were you up-front with your cofounders about these issues when first coming together to start the business, or is it something that you just kind of brushed under the carpet and hoped that it would somehow work out (and it sounds like it did)? Or otherwise, were you aware of it enough at the time that you knew what to look for in your cofounders to bring out the best in you? Great product by the way - via your profile I've just visited JustWatch for the first time and I'm glad to say it solves a RealProblem™ in my life. Consider yourself bookmarked!

endymi0n 9y ago
Hey, of course this didn't come out of nowhere. After lots of failures on my own ambitions right after college, I eventually caved in (completely broke) and started a job in tech support to pay the bills. It was only then — where I got my problems and structure from an external source — that I started really excelling. I eventually automated my job away, worked my way up through engineering into a Lead Architect position and started looking like a credible CTO position — meanwhile I had started doing therapy and coming to grips with accepting my real self. So in the end, yes, I was pretty honest with my cofounders. Funny thing is that as long as someone else is setting the goalposts and calling the shots, I'm running super smooth, even in a lead role. I guess most people who don't know me a bit better wouldn't even notice I had these issues. BTW this piece from Tim Ferriss helped me accept my own spiky personality a bit better a few years ago - as there's apparently lots of unexpected upvotes, maybe it might help others too :) https://tim.blog/2013/11/03/productivity-hacks/ https://tim.blog/2013/11/03/productivity-hacks/
- Fuddh 9y ago
  Hey - just wanted to let you know that I really identify with the comments you made here today. I just read the blog you linked and I think it could help me a lot. I struggle with excessive procrastination on a daily basis and seeing the stuff that generally gets posted on the topic of 'productivity' here and for example LinkedIn doesn't track with me at all since it tends to focus on doing massive amounts of work every single day with a 'just do it' mindset. All that does is stress me out, and I often feel like I'm not the right type of person to achieve things. Your view on the topic has given me some well needed positivity - thank you!
  - endymi0n 9y ago
    You're welcome. I'll just leave this final piece of advice here, which I would say is the distilled essence of wisdom I've worked hard for in the last decade — whether it might reach you at the point you currently are or not: It's not that when you have your procrastination issues covered, that you will finally be able to accept and trust yourself. It is that when you finally accept and trust yourself, you will be able to have your procrastination issues covered. It may sound cheesy and simple, but trust me that it's correct. Getting there is a whole different game, it took me 10 years for the first 80% and I fear the last 20% will take the rest of my life.

viraptor 9y ago

Very much the same. While I can do work myself, I get much more done with others. I'd get distracted or tired if I worked alone, but on a call with someone else I can go for hours, or often until they say they need a break. It helps.

brixon 9y ago
My only motivation is others. I would not do well in a solo work environment. The main driver for me to even clean my house is for my son.

qxzw 9y ago

Have you ever tried medication? For me personally it's even worse when working for others. Even went to the therapist, but she said they don't prescribe stuff like Adderall (don't even have it), and solution is just therapy in form of talking, which had zero effect (she asked questions I asked myself when I was 15). Really curious about Adderall.

ams6110 9y ago
Your therapist should be able to refer you to an MD for meds, if she thinks that would help.
- qxzw 9y ago
  Trouble is there are no amphetamines as meds in my backwards country.
endymi0n 9y ago
Went through Ritalin (normal & XR), amphetamine, SSRI and tricyclic antidepressants, but in hindsight none of those gave me much leverage... just left me with holes in my short term memory I'm still regularly annoyed by. YMMV of course, I'm not a doctor and results in this space vary wildly. The really large improvements came from external structure and therapy. BTW I experienced pretty much the same as you did in the beginning, it was only the third therapist who asked the really uncomfortable questions and went in deep. The others were just a waste of time. The difference between good and bad therapists is several orders of magnitude and a personal connection matters. Don't give up and try to get recommendations.
- raducu 9y ago
  Ritalin and amphetamine did not improve your focus/motivation? Not even the first couple of times you tried them?
  - giblaz 9y ago
    Adderall helps me with focus and motivation but it makes me feel absolutely not like myself. I've done various drugs throughout my life but the feeling I had on Adderall was honestly downright scary once I had wrapped up the programming tasks I set out to do on it.

orblivion 9y ago

So here's a question - what if I am of this disposition but I have a lot of ideas? And I would not be satisfied with life unless I'm pursuing them? Is there a way to reach out to find people to be in charge of me to execute on my ideas? Does anybody want to do that? (These are not necessarily businesses)

bluejekyll 9y ago
> Is there a way to reach out to find people to be in charge of me to execute on my ideas? If it were a business, these would probably be your customers, you usually reach out to them via sales. If instead these are ideas (software) that you want to explore, open-source is a great avenue. As you gain users, issues filed for new features or against bugs become your motivation. To gain users in OSS, you generally need to publicize through a blog or something. > Does anybody want to do that? Just find users, and they’ll do it organically.
dnate 9y ago
Sure, if you can pay a CEO salary. That is literally the job of a CEO. He executes. People argue that money is never as good a motivator as true passion is. I am not taking sides on that matter, it is just something to consider.
- che_shirecat 9y ago
  I don't normally think the default "he" as a singular gender-neutral pronoun is a big deal but in this case when describing the ideal of a CEO I would suggest that you use the singular "they" or "he/she" or risk giving the impression of promoting outdated gender roles
  - oreo81 9y ago
    LMAO wow
Denzel 9y ago
Take this with a heavy grain of salt. It's an idea I've had -- even though I don't have motivation problems -- that I have yet to do. (I plan to within the next three months.) Hire a part-time project manager. A good project manager is immensely helpful in (1) teasing out and decoupling requirements, (2) producing a work-breakdown structure (WBS), (3) setting a schedule/timeline for execution, (4) assessing risks, and finally (5) controlling activity and adherence to the schedule. These are all activities that suck to do alone. A project manager offers a useful organizer and controller. Basically, they represent a forcing function. Just like personal trainers help unmotivated people stay in-shape, I think a personal part-time project manager would help you follow through on your projects.

bitL 9y ago

I have a music studio in central Germany. Wanna do a single together? ;-)

endymi0n 9y ago
I'm in. Just add me on LinkedIn :)

aj7 9y ago

I’m just like you although I doubt as successful. This is very very good feedback for this person.

narrator 9y ago

Working with someone else who holds me accountable creates a bizarre amount of motivation for me. There is certainly something hard-wired in humanity about working in groups.

rconti 9y ago
Gretchen Rubin has a podcast and books; she has a concept of personality types. I can't remember them all, but one is "Obliger", where you're more likely to meet outside expectations than your own. I've got a lot of that myself.
- rzzzt 9y ago
  She has a blog post on them: https://gretchenrubin.com/2013/01/four-personality-types-which-one-are-you/ https://gretchenrubin.com/2013/01/four-personality-types-whi...

b0rsuk 9y ago

I agree that knowing yourself is important. It's no use forcing yourself to do things you clearly don't enjoy. However, I want to share a motivational hack with you. I have a bad back. By far the best treatment I got is regular exercise. Later, because of vanity, and because I was always a skinny nerd, I started adding exercises that weren't exactly critical. Okay, I acquired "runner's knee", so it was initially squats. But there's no strict need for push-ups, cycling, pull-ups. I do those for vanity. I like the way I look compared to my peers, even much younger ones. I sweat like hell during some exercises, like when I do 5 sets of squats 3 times a week. But I manage to pull through. ...and... at some point I realized, if I have (or just developed) enough willpower to persist with these often exhausting exercises, why can't I apply the same persistence to practicing programming ? It turns out... I can. Working out HARD is difficult. So is programming. Working out taught me to not get discouraged doing things I know have merit. To keep trying, and use different approaches if the last one didn't work. There's a bit of overlap between working out and programming. It helped that the other alternative I have is software testing. Reading through the ISTQB materials, and writing some tests I realized this stuff bores me almost to tears. Software testing is important and useful, yes. But it's also a lot of copy&paste work, boilerplates, and you're discouraged from using creative code. Do Repeat Yourself. I make many errors when using copy&paste in code, because monotony puts me to sleep. I forget to update some variable name. Some programming languages, like Rust, have compilers picky enough to reduce the need for software testing. And at the end of the day, you're looking for holes in someone else's work, and the skills you pick up can't be later used in a fun side project. The bottom line: regular exercise can change your perspective. Realizing other alternatives are boring can change your perspective.

rattray 9y ago

Honestly I would second the idea of just joining a company as an FTE (full time employee). Find a place you really like, interview them at least as much as they interview you, and probably say "no" to 5-10 companies before signing on with one of them. Or maybe just join your favorite client full-time if there's one that would work. Give it a shot for a year, you might like it. (source: have freelanced/founded, never thought I'd like working for others).

double0jimb0 9y ago
FTE stands for ‘full time equivalent’ http://smallbusiness.chron.com/calculate-fte-742.html http://smallbusiness.chron.com/calculate-fte-742.html
- dragonwriter 9y ago
  It's frequently used to mean “Full Time Employee” (distinct from both a part timer and a contractor), probably originally by people who have overheard the HR speak and misunderstood what it is referring to, but the use seems to be established on its own at this point.
  - Zeebrommer 9y ago
    That's a shame because it's pretty useful to say e.g. you're in a 15 FTE company with about 20 colleagues.

RangerScience 9y ago

I think this idea is fantastic, and here's another reason: You have a giant grab-bag of motivational tricks to teach your mentees. Dealing with this issue didn't result in the strength you wanted, but it sure as shit gave you some strengths anyway.

mcv 9y ago

Man, this is so recognisable. I've always had problems with self-motivation and discipline, and especially when working on my own projects. The first year I was self-employed, I had ambitious ideas about my own projects. I had a toddler at the time, and I had some great ideas for multi-lingual mobile games for toddlers (most are just in English). I started on one, but messed about so much (trying to learn Photoshop on my own, switching frameworks, reading about other stuff), while worrying about all the parts I wouldn't be able to do myself (graphics, music) that I never got anywhere. Then I became a freelancer on other people's projects (mostly banks lately), and that's going fine and pays very well. But when I think about all the time I wasted not getting anything done on my own projects... Best thing I did for my own project, was tutoring a friend who'd just switched from medical psychology research to programming. We worked on my hobby project together, and that at least got me going. Working for others is so much easier than working for yourself. Fucking up my own ideas doesn't hurt anyone but me, but a paying client, that certainly helps motivation.

mobilemidget 9y ago

Practice self love.. (very good to do, but ) it made me think, doesn’t this all have much to do with not being able to impress oneself anymore?

kpennell 9y ago

thx so much for writing this. what a helpful comment.