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I don't know exactly what your "success" or "failure" looks like to you, but I will say that working in an unstructured environment (which is what you normally

I don't know exactly what your "success" or "failure" looks like to you, but I will say that working in an unstructured environment (which is what you normally do when freelancing) is super hard. I'm willing to bet that if you were to get a 9-5 job you'd discover that you're actually outperforming most other people -- because the 8 years of experience you have pushing yourself. Being "self-driven" is both a talent and a skill. Some people are naturally good at it, but everybody can get better with practice. It sounds like you have been working hard at it! I spent 5 years teaching ESL at a high school and in that time read many, many papers on motivation. One of the things I discovered is that it's still really an open question how it works. I can tell you from my own experience, though, that circumstances can change your motivations completely. That probably sounds obvious, but it works in subtle ways. Working in an office, not working in an office, having a partner (both social and work versions), etc, etc, can change things dramatically. It's not just about finding a technique to concentrate. What I will say is that freelancing is playing on hard mode, so it doesn't surprise me that you find it hard. That may or may not have any relevance to your ultimate questions, unfortunately. If I were to bet, making your job easier will make you more successful at this point in time (though you may want to dial it up again at a later point).

cheschire 9y ago
Not saying OP, but some people chaff under leadership and need that "out" of freelancing to feel like they can walk away without concerns for loyalty. Sometimes it's because the leaders are inept, and sometimes it's because people just don't like being controlled. The Wachowskis spent 3 movies telling us about how there are layers of control no matter where you look. Perhaps OP is struggling because he may have been avoiding control by freelancing, only to find that he's being controlled in other ways. I don't want to sound judgmental at all. It's possible that this could simply be a matter of perspective and once he finds out how to live within the abstract boundaries of freelancing controls, he'll be more able to take on the rigidity of authoritarian control found in office life.
- drchickensalad 9y ago
  Do you have any more information or links on this interpretation of the matrix?
  - cheschire 9y ago
    Unfortunately not anymore. It's been many years. It's not so much an interpretation as just one aspect of the entire story. Go back to the first film when Morpheus says the Matrix is just a form of "control", and then laser focus on that word for the rest of the trilogy. There are many aspects of the story, and while it's great to sit back and take it all in at once, it's also good to give it a watch through with a specific concept in mind. I suppose in that way it's similar to what people find in their various bibles. Reading the same stories again and again, yet finding new perspectives and on them.
baby 9y ago
This. I know many scientists who've been claiming that their SO was the reason for their success. I know I've personally started working a lot more since I've been caught.

cheschire 9y ago

Not saying OP, but some people chaff under leadership and need that "out" of freelancing to feel like they can walk away without concerns for loyalty. Sometimes it's because the leaders are inept, and sometimes it's because people just don't like being controlled. The Wachowskis spent 3 movies telling us about how there are layers of control no matter where you look. Perhaps OP is struggling because he may have been avoiding control by freelancing, only to find that he's being controlled in other ways. I don't want to sound judgmental at all. It's possible that this could simply be a matter of perspective and once he finds out how to live within the abstract boundaries of freelancing controls, he'll be more able to take on the rigidity of authoritarian control found in office life.

drchickensalad 9y ago
Do you have any more information or links on this interpretation of the matrix?
- cheschire 9y ago
  Unfortunately not anymore. It's been many years. It's not so much an interpretation as just one aspect of the entire story. Go back to the first film when Morpheus says the Matrix is just a form of "control", and then laser focus on that word for the rest of the trilogy. There are many aspects of the story, and while it's great to sit back and take it all in at once, it's also good to give it a watch through with a specific concept in mind. I suppose in that way it's similar to what people find in their various bibles. Reading the same stories again and again, yet finding new perspectives and on them.

baby 9y ago

This. I know many scientists who've been claiming that their SO was the reason for their success. I know I've personally started working a lot more since I've been caught.