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What a story! Though I am not depressed, I find myself extremely frustrated with a performance-obsessed society at the moment. I go to one of the most prestigio

What a story! Though I am not depressed, I find myself extremely frustrated with a performance-obsessed society at the moment. I go to one of the most prestigious schools in my country. That should feel like an accomplishment, but I am now surrounded by people "better" than me. It's inspiring, but it also demolishes your ego, from time to time. Last night I had a dream of becoming true friends with a colleague that i idolise. Upon waking up, I realised that the women that I love, sleeping next to me, should've been the one occupying that mind-space, and i suddenly felt pathetically insecure.

tevlon 9y ago
I feel you man. I was a student at the swiss federal institute of technology (ETH Zürich). I was fine 2 years ago. Had a nice swiss girlfriend but my mind was obsessed with becoming a prestigious scientist. I worried too much and lost her. It was one defining factor of my depression. You should give her a hug and tell her how happy she makes you ;)
stealthcat 9y ago
Seems like me. I am studying in Tokyo, Japan. The pressure is so high as I am surrounded by highly-intelligent and hard-working people around me. The machine learning research for Master's degree here is somewhat equivalent to PhD level in my home country (I am from Southeast Asia)
manmal 9y ago
I’ve found that my sense of „hierarchy“ is too strong when I start idolizing people. If you concentrate on the aspects where all humans are the same (eg mortality, human needs, driven by chaos/destiny/god/... etc), you can gain a sense that all people are worth the same, and you are among them. You no longer need or want to climb the hierarchy ladder, because there is no hierarchy, only the illusion of one. Rock stars, billionaires, top scientists - they all die, shit and don’t have their life under control, AT ALL. They just do the thing that matters most to them, when circumstances allow them to - and so can you.

tevlon 9y ago

I feel you man. I was a student at the swiss federal institute of technology (ETH Zürich). I was fine 2 years ago. Had a nice swiss girlfriend but my mind was obsessed with becoming a prestigious scientist. I worried too much and lost her. It was one defining factor of my depression. You should give her a hug and tell her how happy she makes you ;)

stealthcat 9y ago

Seems like me. I am studying in Tokyo, Japan. The pressure is so high as I am surrounded by highly-intelligent and hard-working people around me. The machine learning research for Master's degree here is somewhat equivalent to PhD level in my home country (I am from Southeast Asia)

manmal 9y ago

I’ve found that my sense of „hierarchy“ is too strong when I start idolizing people. If you concentrate on the aspects where all humans are the same (eg mortality, human needs, driven by chaos/destiny/god/... etc), you can gain a sense that all people are worth the same, and you are among them. You no longer need or want to climb the hierarchy ladder, because there is no hierarchy, only the illusion of one. Rock stars, billionaires, top scientists - they all die, shit and don’t have their life under control, AT ALL. They just do the thing that matters most to them, when circumstances allow them to - and so can you.