Part of the point of CBT is recognize when you're engaging in rationalization behaviors so you can prevent it. CBT is meant to increase your awareness of what y

Part of the point of CBT is recognize when you're engaging in rationalization behaviors so you can prevent it. CBT is meant to increase your awareness of what you're doing in your life to cause you harm and misery and to help you build patterns and habits which relieve you of those things. Maybe I'm being presumptuous, but it doesn't sound like you've had actual, therapist-led CBT.