4 ms·

Well, to be honest with you, I don't really know how to tell him. Perhaps it would be easier if we came from the same culture, but we don't and I don't want to

• xoa 9y ago
  >Well, to be honest with you, I don't really know how to tell him. To both you and abawany: maybe just send a polite, anonymous email (make a one time use gmail or something)? Like a personal version of the public service whistleblower, this is the sort of situation that seems like a good fit. A simple "Hey, I see you fairly regularly and..." type of thing, that they're a nice person and you're worried they might not notice this and don't want them to be embarrassed. I do agree that a (perceived) lack of personal hygiene can hamper people in subtle ways socially and in turn professionally, and it's possible that they could never realize why. If they're a decent enough person that's a real shame, and a quick equivalent of "Your fly is unzipped" could be a real benefit long term.
  • remir 9y ago
    This is a great idea and I like this anonymous approach. Thanks!
    • IIIIIIIIIIIIIII 9y ago
      IMO this is one of the worst suggestions. Imagine you get an email from anonymous person at your workplace. This is about as awkward for workplace culture as it gets. Knowing that there is some guy a) who thinks that you stink, and b) who is not man enough to actually talk to you and instead sends an anonymous message, and c) you have to continue to work with that person, d) but you don't know who it is. Any of your coworkers could be that socially challenged person afraid to talk openly and taking such a ridiculous route. Either you find the guts to and talk about it openly or you let it slide. I'd much prefer you take the first route. I consider this part of being an adult. It's only awkward if you make it so in the first place.
      • tree_of_item 9y ago
        > b) who is not man enough to actually talk to you Not man enough, seriously? So are women exempt from this sort of direct confrontation? There are plenty of good reasons to not talk about it "openly", one of the most important being that it takes skill to do it well.
        • IIIIIIIIIIIIIII 9y ago
          > Not man enough, seriously? So are women exempt Wow, you are seriously crazy. May I point out that your perception first of all is the result of your own brain? It is you yourself who has those ideas in their head - i did not write any of it, you found it in yourself. As for part two of your fantastic rant, I refer back to what I wrote. You merely restate what was already said and what I responded to. Repetition does not make the argument any better.
          • dang 9y ago
            Please don't make HN worse by responding to a bad comment with a worse one, and please don't break the site guidelines by crossing into incivility like this—let alone personal attack, which we ban users for. If you'd read the following, and take the spirit of this site to heart when commenting here, we'd appreciate it: https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newswelcome.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newswelcome.html
            • IIIIIIIIIIIIIII 9y ago
              I will always call idiots idiots. I don't care about this site's policies in any case, since the random downvoting (and I really mean the RANDOM downvoting, not the few times when it's obviously bad comments) is far, FAR too prevalent - AND on top of that, when some time ago with another account I upvoted a few such comments that were donwvoted for no valid reason at all you called me a "troll" for "upvoting controversial comments". That is when I lost all respect for you and your site. That's what learning that the admin is a dumb piece of shit (dumb because... that was just DUMB) does.
    • carapace 9y ago
      No, this is a terrible idea. I'm a social idiot and even I know this is lobbing a grenade!
• yesenadam 9y ago
  Read Crucial Conversations maybe. I'm sure that would help both of you.