To continue the article's analogy: One night I scared off all of the workers with a stick and changed the locks on the car so they couldn't get back in. That

To continue the article's analogy: One night I scared off all of the workers with a stick and changed the locks on the car so they couldn't get back in. That worked great for the first several weeks, until one morning I woke up to find the car on blocks with its wheels, engine, and doors gone and an obscene message spray-painted on the windshield.