This right here - raised in a family of 6, was starvation poor at some points (eg. memories of not eating for days and throwing up when I got food - at like 5)

This right here - raised in a family of 6, was starvation poor at some points (eg. memories of not eating for days and throwing up when I got food - at like 5) and regular poor at others growing up. When my grandparents died mom inherited some land - enough to kick off a long term quality of life increase - sold off at a shitty price and spent in a year 'living like a tourist' - in my mother's words. Went back to being dirt poor and now me and my siblings need to support her. Giving her small amounts of cash would have done nothing, it was just a mindset. She's a good person, the money she was spending on crap was largely for me and my siblings - but she can't handle money and has a very distorted view of how it works.