> It reminds me of a friend that used to start off particularly rude statements by saying "I don't want to be rude but..." I don't see the contradiction here.

> It reminds me of a friend that used to start off particularly rude statements by saying "I don't want to be rude but..." I don't see the contradiction here. I interpret these kind of phrases as: "I don't like to be rude, and normally I'm not, but in this case I need to make an exception." Frankly, not everybody actually meant to say that, but this interpretation still helps to deal with those situations in a civil, non-escalating way.