After spending a little too much time on advice books, I put them permanently on the shelf, dispensed to used book stores as time went on. Particularly awful we

After spending a little too much time on advice books, I put them permanently on the shelf, dispensed to used book stores as time went on. Particularly awful were the "What to Expect" books, which were doctrinaire and promised great ills if the doctrines weren't kept. I kept a couple anthropological books, including Lancy's, and the Mayo Clinic's medical guides to pregnancy and the first year. Too, a developmental book "Touchpoints" which seemed to have a pragmatic style and gave some understanding of typical development. For specific baby management concerns, we were trained by the nurses at the hospital, and visits to the doc addressed things that came up otherwise. Thing is - what the anthro and historical views of baby raising taught me - If your kid has Issues, that will be a medical situation, and should be addressed medically. If your kid does not have Issues, then largely they will turn out as they will, if you treat them decently and well, for the first year. Feed em, clean em, read to em, put em to bed, and it'll be largely okay. As they come to more reasoning and thinking, influence increases, but the first year is sort of a wash in many ways. There are huge variations in how different groups treat the first year, and it doesn't seem to matter in turning out functional humans. Behavior issues can be mitigated by routine and structure, but not avoided. The idea of each kid being this special & unique flower is sort of a 20c development. That's important to remember and contemplate.