6 ms·

Why Young Americans Are Having Less Sex

34 points by randomname2 9y ago

thebiglebrewski 9y ago
Speak for yourself, Politico!
Spivak 9y ago
You should prepare to roll your eyes after the first page break. Once the author starts speculating on the cause it turns into an articulate old-man rant about kids these days. "Those darn cellular-telephones, porn-ography, unwed couples, and consent. Back in my day we didn't have consent and we liked it!" Don't get me wrong, the article is well written and cited, but it seems to be suffering from the fallacy of trying to draw conclusions based on things that you can easily get statistics on rather than admitting that you can't boil down human relationships into a few vectors. I'm prepared to have my experience challenged but I can't imagine any young adult thinking this analysis is anything but funny.
- grraaaaahhh 9y ago
  Most of the article reminded me of this: https://xkcd.com/1227/ https://xkcd.com/1227/
brad0 9y ago
I know that there's a few people who disagree with the article but I found it hit close to home. I'm a young(ish) guy that's tall, fit and has a great career that pays well. On a (superficial level at least) I have a lot going for me in attracting women. Yet I have no interest in pursuing sex or relationships. Why would I bother going out and attempt to have conversations with women who have nothing in common with me. Why have a relationship with a woman when it's taxing physically, mentally and emotionally? There's so many other things I can do with my time that is much easier and more rewarding. --- After writing this I can't help but feel that my experience of relationships isn't typical. Does anyone agree or disagree with me?
- Omnius 9y ago
  "taxing physically, mentally and emotionally" it's supposed to be "Rewarding, stress leaving, and healthy" human contact is important. If you have had some shitty relationships re-evaluate where you are shopping for dates.
  - brad0 9y ago
    I agree, I'd be over the moon to experience a relationship that is rewarding, stress leaving and healthy. It's down to me to work out why I find relationships to be so exhausting. Thank you.
  - folkhack 9y ago
    > "taxing physically, mentally and emotionally" it's supposed to be "Rewarding, stress leaving, and healthy" Have you dated in a major metro within the last 2-3 years? It's a pissing match of who can care less so-as to not come off as needy and/or thirsty. A large majority of the people I am meeting on these platforms/real life are serial daters and I'm just one random guy in a LOOONG string of encounters. You can literally tell who's new to the dating scene because their ideals haven't been crapped on 9/10 times anything happens - they don't have "war stories". I can _absolutely_ understand why someone says that it's taxing "physically, mentally, and emotionally" because it absolutely is for a lot of people.
    - brad0 9y ago
      > You can literally tell who's new to the online dating scene because their ideals haven't been crapped on 1/10 times anything happens Can you go into more detail on this?
      - folkhack 9y ago
        Was suppose to be 9/10 whoops. People are not able to really compromise these days because we live in a very individualistic society. Any sort of dependency on another person is seen as weakness, especially if you're a man. Within the relationship context this causes many couples to not be able to hit the required escape velocity to exit the honeymoon period (3-6 months on average). If you're in a major metro, there is a multitude of additional options that are fresh and new so why compromise? This is destructive to an individual's ideals within the relationship context because either you dig your heels in just like your opponent and move on to the next partner (easy/common), or you both decide to calibrate and compromise (hard/rare).
perseusprime11 9y ago
My read on this article is that the author of this article is a young American having less sex.
sssilver 9y ago
Getting to intimately know people you believe you have nothing in common with can be an amazing, transforming experience. It's one of the ways to grow as a person.
jacksmith21006 9y ago
I believe it is the over prescription of anti depresents and other medications that lower libido.
ravitation 9y ago
My first thought about anything like this... Quality of the data set... This is based on self-reported data. Is it not also worth asking if it has become more socially acceptable to admit to having sex less often (or not at all)? Just as it probably has become more socially acceptable to not be in a relationship...
DidISayTooMuch 9y ago
Dude, when I moved to the US from India, I thought every guy in the US had a GF and was getting it regularly. Boy, was I in for a surprise. May be it's all the media/TV/Movies that made me think like that. At least in SF, I see a lot of single men. I myself have been finding dating hard here (may be because I'm a foreigner), which translates to pretty irregular sex, but my friends in South East Asia are getting laid pretty regularly.
amriksohata 9y ago
Porn and feminism

34 points by randomname2 9y ago

Speak for yourself, Politico!

You should prepare to roll your eyes after the first page break. Once the author starts speculating on the cause it turns into an articulate old-man rant about kids these days. "Those darn cellular-telephones, porn-ography, unwed couples, and consent. Back in my day we didn't have consent and we liked it!" Don't get me wrong, the article is well written and cited, but it seems to be suffering from the fallacy of trying to draw conclusions based on things that you can easily get statistics on rather than admitting that you can't boil down human relationships into a few vectors. I'm prepared to have my experience challenged but I can't imagine any young adult thinking this analysis is anything but funny.

grraaaaahhh 9y ago
Most of the article reminded me of this: https://xkcd.com/1227/ https://xkcd.com/1227/

brad0 9y ago

I know that there's a few people who disagree with the article but I found it hit close to home. I'm a young(ish) guy that's tall, fit and has a great career that pays well. On a (superficial level at least) I have a lot going for me in attracting women. Yet I have no interest in pursuing sex or relationships. Why would I bother going out and attempt to have conversations with women who have nothing in common with me. Why have a relationship with a woman when it's taxing physically, mentally and emotionally? There's so many other things I can do with my time that is much easier and more rewarding. --- After writing this I can't help but feel that my experience of relationships isn't typical. Does anyone agree or disagree with me?

Omnius 9y ago
"taxing physically, mentally and emotionally" it's supposed to be "Rewarding, stress leaving, and healthy" human contact is important. If you have had some shitty relationships re-evaluate where you are shopping for dates.
- brad0 9y ago
  I agree, I'd be over the moon to experience a relationship that is rewarding, stress leaving and healthy. It's down to me to work out why I find relationships to be so exhausting. Thank you.
- folkhack 9y ago
  > "taxing physically, mentally and emotionally" it's supposed to be "Rewarding, stress leaving, and healthy" Have you dated in a major metro within the last 2-3 years? It's a pissing match of who can care less so-as to not come off as needy and/or thirsty. A large majority of the people I am meeting on these platforms/real life are serial daters and I'm just one random guy in a LOOONG string of encounters. You can literally tell who's new to the dating scene because their ideals haven't been crapped on 9/10 times anything happens - they don't have "war stories". I can _absolutely_ understand why someone says that it's taxing "physically, mentally, and emotionally" because it absolutely is for a lot of people.
  - brad0 9y ago
    > You can literally tell who's new to the online dating scene because their ideals haven't been crapped on 1/10 times anything happens Can you go into more detail on this?
    - folkhack 9y ago
      Was suppose to be 9/10 whoops. People are not able to really compromise these days because we live in a very individualistic society. Any sort of dependency on another person is seen as weakness, especially if you're a man. Within the relationship context this causes many couples to not be able to hit the required escape velocity to exit the honeymoon period (3-6 months on average). If you're in a major metro, there is a multitude of additional options that are fresh and new so why compromise? This is destructive to an individual's ideals within the relationship context because either you dig your heels in just like your opponent and move on to the next partner (easy/common), or you both decide to calibrate and compromise (hard/rare).

perseusprime11 9y ago

My read on this article is that the author of this article is a young American having less sex.

sssilver 9y ago

Getting to intimately know people you believe you have nothing in common with can be an amazing, transforming experience. It's one of the ways to grow as a person.

jacksmith21006 9y ago

I believe it is the over prescription of anti depresents and other medications that lower libido.

ravitation 9y ago

My first thought about anything like this... Quality of the data set... This is based on self-reported data. Is it not also worth asking if it has become more socially acceptable to admit to having sex less often (or not at all)? Just as it probably has become more socially acceptable to not be in a relationship...

DidISayTooMuch 9y ago

Dude, when I moved to the US from India, I thought every guy in the US had a GF and was getting it regularly. Boy, was I in for a surprise. May be it's all the media/TV/Movies that made me think like that. At least in SF, I see a lot of single men. I myself have been finding dating hard here (may be because I'm a foreigner), which translates to pretty irregular sex, but my friends in South East Asia are getting laid pretty regularly.

amriksohata 9y ago

Porn and feminism