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It seems to vary a lot from one culture to another. In Japan making excuses or not apologizing is seen as childish.
by david-gpu 9y ago
It seems to vary a lot from one culture to another. In Japan making excuses or not apologizing is seen as childish.
- davesque 9y agoYeah, I've wondered about how much this varies. I mostly have my own experience from living in the US. I've spent some time in Japan and I can imagine that what you say is true. Honestly, it's a really nice feeling to have the opportunity to apologize for something you know you did wrong. It can really strengthen a relationship with someone.
- 77pt77 9y agoApologies in Japan are also usually empty and meaningless. It's more of a custom than anything else.
- davesque 9y agoActually I've wondered about this. I've noticed that, in Japan, when something bad happens, it often seems that someone is expected to appear in public and apologize often while shedding a tear or two. I've seen that happen a few different times and in the same way each time. So yeah, I've thought it might just be a custom.
- 77pt77 9y agoIt's actually a running joke among foreigners living there. Someone will apologize, bow deeply, cry (no gender difference), sometimes perform some irrelevant humiliating act (there was a girl that shaved her head) and all is good. No actual behaviour changes, nothing is really addressed, mitigated or prevented.
- gowld 9y agoAre there really no behavior changes? What happens if you shave your head, and then have to apologize again before it grows back? Seems like there are consequences that become incentives. Sure, someone can fake sincerity, but doing the rituals forces the apologizer to think about what they've done, which, in a decent human being, leads to self-reflection and attempt to improve. This is of course gameable by sociopaths, but works decently well for anyone trying to be decent.