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Can't speak for everyone, but in my case it's because I don't have an ordinary upbringing. I grew up in a highly educated household in one of the richest areas

Can't speak for everyone, but in my case it's because I don't have an ordinary upbringing. I grew up in a highly educated household in one of the richest areas of the United States, had educational opportunities that simply don't exist in the majority of the country. And it seems I'm naturally wired to like engineering, stemming from childhood/the toys I liked/TV shows I enjoyed/etc. All the career placement tests my high school gave me (which were extensive, multi-hour behavioral questionnaires) had engineering in the top 2 best options for me. Knowing all this, how could I throw it all away? I have no delusions of being the next Elon Musk, but I have the opportunity to work myself into the top 10% of what I do. Never mind my own internal drive (I honestly love building things, in general), but to be handed all of that opportunity and just throw it out for a mediocre career doing mediocre things would be a tacit insult to everyone who has less than me; and might do more than me given the same opportunities. Put succinctly, it would be lazy and ungrateful of me to just "settle down". Granted I started off closer to the top than most, but I imagine many people have a similar ideal relative to their starting point. Just look at immigrant families who arrived with nothing, re-use disposable plastic bags and wear the same t-shirts for years to save for their kids' college, and said kids go on to get get high-paying jobs. Accepting the "ordinary" in that context means the family remains poor.

dragonsky67 9y ago
Not to be condescending, but I really feel sorry for you. There is nothing wrong with ambition, but when it becomes a prison of obligation where you feel the need to pay back the expectation of others then I feel it is misplaced. May I ask, who do you feel obligated to? Your parents or society? Is there really an obligation on you, or are you just taking on the obligation as a way of feeling special? Do you feel that if you don't achieve your "best" that society will suffer? If I were an ambitious person that I would be begging you to pursue a mediocre career. The fewer "privileged" people at the top, the more room there is for those who have not had such privilege.
- scottLobster 9y ago
  I'd say society by definition suffers when people don't do their best. ("Best" being a function of starting point, capabilities, natural inclinations, support, etc) Do you want mediocre firemen? Mediocre janitors? Mediocre cops? Mediocre teachers? Mediocre Doctors? Of course not. What you call a "prison of obligation", I call civic duty, and I happily embrace it. Responsibility is what gives life meaning. It's what serves as a barometer for whether you wasted a day or not. Granted one has to be careful not to take on an inhuman amount of responsibility, that just leads to burnout and health consequences, but it's hardly a "prison". I've always felt good after a week of hard, productive work and empty after a week of Netflix, beer and video games. I can enjoy the latter for a day or two, maybe three, but past that I'm going to look for something more meaningful. In my case that responsibility, as far as my career is concerned, comes from my family's background. I'm fortunate enough to live in a society, however flawed, where my dad the son of an enlisted Coast Guardsman (although grandpa eventually worked his way up to Warrant Officer 3 over 20 Years) and a stay-at-home mom could work his way into the upper-middle class and provide me with everything he did. Society doesn't do this out of altruism, Western society and Capitalism in general on average reward smart people who work hard precisely so they'll contribute more to society. Granted the system is far from perfect, there's some corruption and society rewards some areas more than others, and the system is having more trouble in recent years than it's had in the past, but the general principle holds true. Conscientious people with high (but not too high) IQs are the most successful demographic: http://www.businessinsider.com/conscientiousness-predicts-success-2014-4 http://www.businessinsider.com/conscientiousness-predicts-su... (some good sources in the article) To whom much is given much is expected. Imagine our political system gave some people 1 vote and some people 1000 votes. Now 1000 votes typically won't swing a national election, but wouldn't those lucky few with 1000 votes have a greater moral obligation to use them wisely? So I run on a hybrid of internal passion and external responsibility. Passion comes and goes in waves, often my impetus for starting something, and responsibility fills in the gaps and makes sure I follow through. It's worked pretty well so far. Also it's hardly a zero-sum game at the top, particularly in engineering. You need look no further than any daily news source to see society crying out for competent individuals from all walks of life.
petra 9y ago
I'm not talking about throwing things away. You like engineering, you're good at it, the advantages of such career are good - those combine to create concrete benefits. Ambition isn't bad. But ambition for the sake of "being good at something"? Especially when good is compared to other people? as if there's something wrong with being average? That's different.
EADGBE 9y ago
Sounds like you were "groomed for this" more so than "made for this".
- scottLobster 9y ago
  Why not both?

dragonsky67 9y ago

Not to be condescending, but I really feel sorry for you. There is nothing wrong with ambition, but when it becomes a prison of obligation where you feel the need to pay back the expectation of others then I feel it is misplaced. May I ask, who do you feel obligated to? Your parents or society? Is there really an obligation on you, or are you just taking on the obligation as a way of feeling special? Do you feel that if you don't achieve your "best" that society will suffer? If I were an ambitious person that I would be begging you to pursue a mediocre career. The fewer "privileged" people at the top, the more room there is for those who have not had such privilege.

scottLobster 9y ago
I'd say society by definition suffers when people don't do their best. ("Best" being a function of starting point, capabilities, natural inclinations, support, etc) Do you want mediocre firemen? Mediocre janitors? Mediocre cops? Mediocre teachers? Mediocre Doctors? Of course not. What you call a "prison of obligation", I call civic duty, and I happily embrace it. Responsibility is what gives life meaning. It's what serves as a barometer for whether you wasted a day or not. Granted one has to be careful not to take on an inhuman amount of responsibility, that just leads to burnout and health consequences, but it's hardly a "prison". I've always felt good after a week of hard, productive work and empty after a week of Netflix, beer and video games. I can enjoy the latter for a day or two, maybe three, but past that I'm going to look for something more meaningful. In my case that responsibility, as far as my career is concerned, comes from my family's background. I'm fortunate enough to live in a society, however flawed, where my dad the son of an enlisted Coast Guardsman (although grandpa eventually worked his way up to Warrant Officer 3 over 20 Years) and a stay-at-home mom could work his way into the upper-middle class and provide me with everything he did. Society doesn't do this out of altruism, Western society and Capitalism in general on average reward smart people who work hard precisely so they'll contribute more to society. Granted the system is far from perfect, there's some corruption and society rewards some areas more than others, and the system is having more trouble in recent years than it's had in the past, but the general principle holds true. Conscientious people with high (but not too high) IQs are the most successful demographic: http://www.businessinsider.com/conscientiousness-predicts-success-2014-4 http://www.businessinsider.com/conscientiousness-predicts-su... (some good sources in the article) To whom much is given much is expected. Imagine our political system gave some people 1 vote and some people 1000 votes. Now 1000 votes typically won't swing a national election, but wouldn't those lucky few with 1000 votes have a greater moral obligation to use them wisely? So I run on a hybrid of internal passion and external responsibility. Passion comes and goes in waves, often my impetus for starting something, and responsibility fills in the gaps and makes sure I follow through. It's worked pretty well so far. Also it's hardly a zero-sum game at the top, particularly in engineering. You need look no further than any daily news source to see society crying out for competent individuals from all walks of life.

petra 9y ago

I'm not talking about throwing things away. You like engineering, you're good at it, the advantages of such career are good - those combine to create concrete benefits. Ambition isn't bad. But ambition for the sake of "being good at something"? Especially when good is compared to other people? as if there's something wrong with being average? That's different.

EADGBE 9y ago

Sounds like you were "groomed for this" more so than "made for this".

scottLobster 9y ago
Why not both?