My wife is a dentist so, using similar reasoning, I once asked her why people don't do this. She said the problem is that implants ultimately connect into bone

My wife is a dentist so, using similar reasoning, I once asked her why people don't do this. She said the problem is that implants ultimately connect into bone and that connection fails over time -- your body is designed to renew the connection from jawbone to tooth but without a tooth it eventually degrades. Edit reply to your edit: I am sorry about your teeth. It is amazing how dental education still isn't pervasive -- she gets teenage patients in Oakland who've never been told to brush their teeth and who will lose them all at a young age. Modern dentistry can work some wonders, so long term I hope you are doomed only to some discomfort and costs and not more severe problems.