I guess it's easy to excuse being an asshole by calling it directness, but it's really not the same thing. It's just a cheap cop-out, like how anti-vaxers would

I guess it's easy to excuse being an asshole by calling it directness, but it's really not the same thing. It's just a cheap cop-out, like how anti-vaxers would suppose themselves "freethinkers". I live in a culture where being direct is somewhat frowned upon. Not only "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" but sometimes "if you don't have anything nice to say, make something up". People avoid confronting each other with what they think and want to the point where they'll express the exact opposite, at best adding subtle, passive-aggressive hints as to what they really mean and using irony to avoid responsibility. I guess the burden of confronting people is understood as higher than the burden of constantly having to second guess what at surface seems sincere, to a greater degree than in other, more "direct" cultures. This can be very excluding to people who didn't grow up here. People that travel here briefly will probably get the impression that we are very nice and welcoming, but if you stay here for long you'll probably find the occasional direct asshole refreshingly simple to dismiss as just that. That's not to say that being direct is inherently better than being indirect. Particularly the interpretation of "direct" that boils down to "I'll say whatever I want the moment I think of it even though I know that no one wants to hear it". But it's a misinterpretation, really. If I am a considerate person, being direct will reflect that. Before I comment on your shoes I will consider that you probably like them yourself and that it's not very important to me to express that I don't. If you asked me what I thought of them and I didn't tell you what I think, I would consider that rude.