6 ms·

I'm not on social media aside from Reddit. But what I notice with my wife and others is a simple reason why I dislike it. If you have 400 friends, and they each

by jraby3 9y ago

I'm not on social media aside from Reddit. But what I notice with my wife and others is a simple reason why I dislike it. If you have 400 friends, and they each only take one vacation a year, that means 8x per week, you're looking at other people taking a vacation. Even if you travel 4x per year, you'll still feel like you never do anything and everyone else is always celebrating their life. I realize this is a simple example, but it's valid and wears you down over time. Also, even having a handful of very wealthy friends can eventually lead to feelings of envy. In past times, most people grew up surrounded by people similar to them in terms of wealth and status - but in today's world that's no longer the case.

KozmoNau7 9y ago
I specifically cut out Reddit entirely. Subreddits quickly end up being insular groupthink echo chambers, thanks to the voting system and biased moderators. The noise:content ratio is simply skewed way towards pointless noise. It's not worth it.
- duskwuff 9y ago
  I've found that Reddit improves dramatically as you move away from the huge default subreddits and into smaller, more focused subs -- for hobbies you're involved in, for instance. For that sort of thing it's not half bad.
  - str33t_punk 9y ago
    Until you realize ALL subreddits are almost entirely gamed by marketers. Why do you think the reddit hive mind in small hobby subreddits conglomerates on a few devices / items? Reddit is literally the most shilled platform. Easy botting + the up vote down vote system
    - brucephillips 9y ago
      Do you have an example? I don't observe any bias in /r/vaporents, for instance.
    - seszett 9y ago
      I'm pretty sure you're wrong with your ALL. Some of the country subreddits I know, /r/France or /r/Belgium, or misc. interests like /r/gardening /r/dwarffortress are definitely not "gamed by marketers". For those that are about topics that are more easy prey to advertising, competent moderation usually works fine. It's really not that difficult to find interesting and genuine subreddits.
    - Balgair 9y ago
      Not really. The small city-based subs are alright and the hobby based subs are pretty good, bots don't really waste their time in the 'long tail' as of yet, but that will be changing in the next 5 years.
    - webninja 9y ago
      You’re absolutely right. For anyone who wants to test this, try searching for “State Farm” in Reddit and you’ll see the results almost never have anything to do with whether Statefarm actually pays claims, is fair priced, or a good value to the customer. The posts are all from their internal marketing department doing shit like posting a false AMA request for Jake from State Farm as some kind of low-quality joke to shy away from the points that actually matter.
  - KozmoNau7 9y ago
    I never visited the huge default subreddits, I stuck to the niche subjects, like audiophilia, underground metal and the like. It was all shit.
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
lsc 9y ago
>Also, even having a handful of very wealthy friends can eventually lead to feelings of envy. I.. huh. I really don't get this. Maybe it is because I am doing better than I thought I was going to for the first half of my life? or maybe I'm just less jealous than most people? but yeah, there are a few people I follow who you could say I am envious of; people who are super successful in all the ways I want to be successful, but I think it's good rather than bad, because I feel a connection to what I want and admire, and there's this person I really admire who is talking with me. That is... kinda neat, you know? Like showing up at your buddy's weekend board game party and finding the inventor of a famous programming language was also invited. I guess I don't see how seeing people who are more successful than you on facebook could possibly be more distressing than seeing those people at work (and you will and always have seen those people at work. We've always had bosses.) Even in person, I've always found being around people that are better than I am (better by my standards) to be fun and exciting. I don't think this is uncommon, really.
- manmal 9y ago
  If you are perfectly content with your life, then Facebook probably won’t be an issue at all. But if you have _any_ area where you don’t feel fulfilled - like bad life/work balance, insufficient funds, loneliness, unfulfilled baby wish - then Facebook is going to rub it into your face, daily, that others have what you desire, and does it in a misleading way. Let’s say you can’t have a baby and you have a colleague with 4 kids at work. In real life, you talk to them, get a grasp of their situation, and might realize the caveats - Eg they also had an unfulfilled baby wish at first (which gives you hope), or you can offset the perceived „unfairness“ with the areas they are lacking in (eg they often feel overwhelmed by the kids or are sick a lot). On Facebook, you have an army of super-happy baby making machines, posting Instagram filtered of happy smiles in the sunny park, kids cuddling with a dog, birthday candles... the bad moments are very rarely reported - and when they are, lots of people flock to the post and comment, making that person their center of attention (= socially important). But they won’t write next to that happy picture „right after, baby cried for 45 minutes and I almost had a nervous breakdown“ because you don’t appear to be in a favorable position when writing that. [As a father of two, I was never directly affected by an unfulfilled baby wish, but a friend of ours was.]
jcoffland 9y ago
> wears you down over time. You might also want to look at why other people's happens or success makes you feel bad. It's a very common feeling but it's unhealthy and a sign that you have poor self-esteem.
- zbentley 9y ago
  That may be true, but poor self-esteem is dramatically more common among young/developing people trying to figure out their place in the world. There are plenty of exceptions to that in both ways (young people with great self-esteem, older people without it), but I think that kids/teenagers will always be uniquely susceptible to ego "body blows" of the sort that social media makes very easy to receive.
dmd 9y ago
> If you have 400 friends Wait. Stop. What? I have 82 friends on Facebook. Probably half of those I could easily drop. I'm completely baffled where anyone would find 400.
- novaleaf 9y ago
  still, 40 friends would work out to a little less than 1 vacation/week. I think his general point still stands.

by jraby3 9y ago

KozmoNau7 9y ago

I specifically cut out Reddit entirely. Subreddits quickly end up being insular groupthink echo chambers, thanks to the voting system and biased moderators. The noise:content ratio is simply skewed way towards pointless noise. It's not worth it.

duskwuff 9y ago
I've found that Reddit improves dramatically as you move away from the huge default subreddits and into smaller, more focused subs -- for hobbies you're involved in, for instance. For that sort of thing it's not half bad.
- str33t_punk 9y ago
  Until you realize ALL subreddits are almost entirely gamed by marketers. Why do you think the reddit hive mind in small hobby subreddits conglomerates on a few devices / items? Reddit is literally the most shilled platform. Easy botting + the up vote down vote system
  - brucephillips 9y ago
    Do you have an example? I don't observe any bias in /r/vaporents, for instance.
  - seszett 9y ago
    I'm pretty sure you're wrong with your ALL. Some of the country subreddits I know, /r/France or /r/Belgium, or misc. interests like /r/gardening /r/dwarffortress are definitely not "gamed by marketers". For those that are about topics that are more easy prey to advertising, competent moderation usually works fine. It's really not that difficult to find interesting and genuine subreddits.
  - Balgair 9y ago
    Not really. The small city-based subs are alright and the hobby based subs are pretty good, bots don't really waste their time in the 'long tail' as of yet, but that will be changing in the next 5 years.
  - webninja 9y ago
    You’re absolutely right. For anyone who wants to test this, try searching for “State Farm” in Reddit and you’ll see the results almost never have anything to do with whether Statefarm actually pays claims, is fair priced, or a good value to the customer. The posts are all from their internal marketing department doing shit like posting a false AMA request for Jake from State Farm as some kind of low-quality joke to shy away from the points that actually matter.
- KozmoNau7 9y ago
  I never visited the huge default subreddits, I stuck to the niche subjects, like audiophilia, underground metal and the like. It was all shit.
deleted 9y ago
[deleted]

lsc 9y ago

>Also, even having a handful of very wealthy friends can eventually lead to feelings of envy. I.. huh. I really don't get this. Maybe it is because I am doing better than I thought I was going to for the first half of my life? or maybe I'm just less jealous than most people? but yeah, there are a few people I follow who you could say I am envious of; people who are super successful in all the ways I want to be successful, but I think it's good rather than bad, because I feel a connection to what I want and admire, and there's this person I really admire who is talking with me. That is... kinda neat, you know? Like showing up at your buddy's weekend board game party and finding the inventor of a famous programming language was also invited. I guess I don't see how seeing people who are more successful than you on facebook could possibly be more distressing than seeing those people at work (and you will and always have seen those people at work. We've always had bosses.) Even in person, I've always found being around people that are better than I am (better by my standards) to be fun and exciting. I don't think this is uncommon, really.

manmal 9y ago
If you are perfectly content with your life, then Facebook probably won’t be an issue at all. But if you have _any_ area where you don’t feel fulfilled - like bad life/work balance, insufficient funds, loneliness, unfulfilled baby wish - then Facebook is going to rub it into your face, daily, that others have what you desire, and does it in a misleading way. Let’s say you can’t have a baby and you have a colleague with 4 kids at work. In real life, you talk to them, get a grasp of their situation, and might realize the caveats - Eg they also had an unfulfilled baby wish at first (which gives you hope), or you can offset the perceived „unfairness“ with the areas they are lacking in (eg they often feel overwhelmed by the kids or are sick a lot). On Facebook, you have an army of super-happy baby making machines, posting Instagram filtered of happy smiles in the sunny park, kids cuddling with a dog, birthday candles... the bad moments are very rarely reported - and when they are, lots of people flock to the post and comment, making that person their center of attention (= socially important). But they won’t write next to that happy picture „right after, baby cried for 45 minutes and I almost had a nervous breakdown“ because you don’t appear to be in a favorable position when writing that. [As a father of two, I was never directly affected by an unfulfilled baby wish, but a friend of ours was.]

jcoffland 9y ago

> wears you down over time. You might also want to look at why other people's happens or success makes you feel bad. It's a very common feeling but it's unhealthy and a sign that you have poor self-esteem.

zbentley 9y ago
That may be true, but poor self-esteem is dramatically more common among young/developing people trying to figure out their place in the world. There are plenty of exceptions to that in both ways (young people with great self-esteem, older people without it), but I think that kids/teenagers will always be uniquely susceptible to ego "body blows" of the sort that social media makes very easy to receive.

dmd 9y ago

> If you have 400 friends Wait. Stop. What? I have 82 friends on Facebook. Probably half of those I could easily drop. I'm completely baffled where anyone would find 400.

novaleaf 9y ago
still, 40 friends would work out to a little less than 1 vacation/week. I think his general point still stands.