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> And if both are breadwinners, almost invariably the homemaking burden falls more heavily on the wife. Which is why I'm in favor of outsourcing (i.e. cleaning

> And if both are breadwinners, almost invariably the homemaking burden falls more heavily on the wife. Which is why I'm in favor of outsourcing (i.e. cleaning, take-out, blue apron). My friends (she's a doctor and he's a product manager) say getting a cleaner is the best thing they could have done for their relationship

Nursie 9y ago
Yeah, I need to get this sorted out. My long term GF and I are both really lazy in the home. It doesn't (often) strain the relationship, but ... yeah. Just having someone in to get a bunch of the drudgery out of the way would be good.
brightball 9y ago
We once hired a nanny after our 2nd child was born because the cost was about the same as daycare for 2 kids. We asked her if she’d be up for doing a load of dishes and a load of laundry each day while the kids were taking naps for an increase in her rate and she agreed. That year and a half or so was the easiest we have ever had. People take for granted how much time laundry absorbs when you have two people working and limited free time.
cimmanom 9y ago
Ok, let's examine that with a bit of critical thought. How does outsourcing help with a crying baby at 2am? How does outsourcing help with the mental burden of worrying about whether the kids have their shots and annual dentist visits and don't forget that you have to go shopping because they outgrew their shoes? And if you're raising two kids on a $35k nursing salary and the $15k your husband earns at the minimum wage job that's all that's available to him, how are you going to afford any of that anyway?
- romanovcode 9y ago
  If both of them start fighting about who's turn it is to take the kid to dentist then I gotta say - why bother with kids in the first place? It is clear that both persons don't want to deal with kids.
- Blackstone4 9y ago
  I never said outsourcing was a silver bullet. Outsource where you can. Where you can't, share the responsibility. All of this is subject to whether or not you can afford it. I made my assumption based on two breadwinners. In my mind $15k is a not a breadwinner salary. I had assumed since you referred to yourself as a modern women who makes good money you'd be at least making $70k-$100k.
  - cimmanom 9y ago
    The original article here is about the decline of marriage in places where jobs are vanishing. Yeah, I make significantly more than that and can outsource a lot of grunt work. The typical potential couple in the places described in the article has the same gender dynamic but not the same resources I do.

Nursie 9y ago

Yeah, I need to get this sorted out. My long term GF and I are both really lazy in the home. It doesn't (often) strain the relationship, but ... yeah. Just having someone in to get a bunch of the drudgery out of the way would be good.

brightball 9y ago

We once hired a nanny after our 2nd child was born because the cost was about the same as daycare for 2 kids. We asked her if she’d be up for doing a load of dishes and a load of laundry each day while the kids were taking naps for an increase in her rate and she agreed. That year and a half or so was the easiest we have ever had. People take for granted how much time laundry absorbs when you have two people working and limited free time.

cimmanom 9y ago

Ok, let's examine that with a bit of critical thought. How does outsourcing help with a crying baby at 2am? How does outsourcing help with the mental burden of worrying about whether the kids have their shots and annual dentist visits and don't forget that you have to go shopping because they outgrew their shoes? And if you're raising two kids on a $35k nursing salary and the $15k your husband earns at the minimum wage job that's all that's available to him, how are you going to afford any of that anyway?

romanovcode 9y ago
If both of them start fighting about who's turn it is to take the kid to dentist then I gotta say - why bother with kids in the first place? It is clear that both persons don't want to deal with kids.
Blackstone4 9y ago
I never said outsourcing was a silver bullet. Outsource where you can. Where you can't, share the responsibility. All of this is subject to whether or not you can afford it. I made my assumption based on two breadwinners. In my mind $15k is a not a breadwinner salary. I had assumed since you referred to yourself as a modern women who makes good money you'd be at least making $70k-$100k.
- cimmanom 9y ago
  The original article here is about the decline of marriage in places where jobs are vanishing. Yeah, I make significantly more than that and can outsource a lot of grunt work. The typical potential couple in the places described in the article has the same gender dynamic but not the same resources I do.