Having worked at places where they paid tons for options like those, and suffering from the inability to move and the difficulty of finding non-company tooling

Having worked at places where they paid tons for options like those, and suffering from the inability to move and the difficulty of finding non-company tooling and community around them, I'd say they have the same problem. Point being: if your ecosystem is a single company, it's at the whims of that company's success and give-a-shitness. Non-DB companies and open source communities tend to gouge less and share more.