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BTW, they may be referring to what, for Americans, is 'extended family' ; that is, not your spouse and kids, but your brothers, parents, uncles etc :) It is gr

by okaram 9y ago

BTW, they may be referring to what, for Americans, is 'extended family' ; that is, not your spouse and kids, but your brothers, parents, uncles etc :) It is great to have your whole family around; they will probably not move with you :)

scarface74 9y ago
Again, so what? My responsible is to myself, my spouse, and my kids. I'm going to move to wherever I can get the better quality of life for us is. If I have dependent relatives like parents, they would have to move where I move. EDIT: Thanks for the possible clarification. I'm thinking very US centric. I forgot that many other cultures seem to place a higher value on being close to and living with extended family than we do.
- mgkimsal 9y ago
  > I'm going to move to wherever I can get the better quality of life for us is Not just non-US families. I worked with a guy years ago who complained about pay. He was paid ok but not great. I told him about some other opps which would double his pay, and not in high COL areas either - roughly one midwest town to another. He wouldn't consider it, because they were too close to family in that area - his family, his wife's family, and extended family. They were just too close to consider ripping his 4 person family away from the other 15+ family members - shared school, shared church, shared family outings, etc. "What about for 3x your income?" "Nope, just couldn't move away from the family". So... he knew he was trading some money for "quality of life" - having large family close by was one of the qualities he valued in his life more than raw cash.
  - scarface74 9y ago
    Increase salary over a certain point has decreasing marginal utility. Where that decreasing marginal utility is, is based on the person. In the last 6 years. I've had two major bumps by changing jobs - both 20K. The first 20K made life a lot easier on our family. Allowed us to buy a house the size we wanted in the neighborhood we wanted. The 2nd 20K helped us be able to save, pay down debt aggressively, help our older son who is just starting out on his own. The path to making another 20K bump would lead to either contracting (would probably mean giving up my flexible schedule as the dev lead), consulting (a lot of traveling), or middle management (no interest in giving up actual hands on coding). The first two options aren't something I want to do until my son graduates. I never want to do the third options. If I was forced to make the same choices to get the first 20K bump, I would have, the second bump, maybe. But I'm not willing to do that now.
    - mgkimsal 9y ago
      i have to assume that would put you at at least $70k. Would you take another $70k bump? Or $100k bump? Everyone's marginal utility is different, of course. An extra $20k a year wouldn't have much impact on my life, but an extra $150k would, and I'd make sacrifices to handle it, because it would have a larger/faster impact for my family's plans.

by okaram 9y ago

scarface74 9y ago

Again, so what? My responsible is to myself, my spouse, and my kids. I'm going to move to wherever I can get the better quality of life for us is. If I have dependent relatives like parents, they would have to move where I move. EDIT: Thanks for the possible clarification. I'm thinking very US centric. I forgot that many other cultures seem to place a higher value on being close to and living with extended family than we do.

mgkimsal 9y ago
> I'm going to move to wherever I can get the better quality of life for us is Not just non-US families. I worked with a guy years ago who complained about pay. He was paid ok but not great. I told him about some other opps which would double his pay, and not in high COL areas either - roughly one midwest town to another. He wouldn't consider it, because they were too close to family in that area - his family, his wife's family, and extended family. They were just too close to consider ripping his 4 person family away from the other 15+ family members - shared school, shared church, shared family outings, etc. "What about for 3x your income?" "Nope, just couldn't move away from the family". So... he knew he was trading some money for "quality of life" - having large family close by was one of the qualities he valued in his life more than raw cash.
- scarface74 9y ago
  Increase salary over a certain point has decreasing marginal utility. Where that decreasing marginal utility is, is based on the person. In the last 6 years. I've had two major bumps by changing jobs - both 20K. The first 20K made life a lot easier on our family. Allowed us to buy a house the size we wanted in the neighborhood we wanted. The 2nd 20K helped us be able to save, pay down debt aggressively, help our older son who is just starting out on his own. The path to making another 20K bump would lead to either contracting (would probably mean giving up my flexible schedule as the dev lead), consulting (a lot of traveling), or middle management (no interest in giving up actual hands on coding). The first two options aren't something I want to do until my son graduates. I never want to do the third options. If I was forced to make the same choices to get the first 20K bump, I would have, the second bump, maybe. But I'm not willing to do that now.
  - mgkimsal 9y ago
    i have to assume that would put you at at least $70k. Would you take another $70k bump? Or $100k bump? Everyone's marginal utility is different, of course. An extra $20k a year wouldn't have much impact on my life, but an extra $150k would, and I'd make sacrifices to handle it, because it would have a larger/faster impact for my family's plans.