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This is such a broken argument. The one upside of behaving this way is that it makes the HN frontpage and one can argue about the value of that for the issue at

by remon 9y ago

This is such a broken argument. The one upside of behaving this way is that it makes the HN frontpage and one can argue about the value of that for the issue at hand. It's pretty much established fact that, all other things being equal, being an asshole to people doesn't further your objectives and generally just results in people either ignoring you or getting more defensive and less cooperative than they would otherwise be. Being socially inept is not exactly a rare trait amongst very smart people but let's recognise it for what it is, a personality flaw.

nnq 9y ago
> Being socially inept is [...] a personality flaw. That's a very dangerous and messed up reasoning. For a significant proportion of the population "society" is just a nasty scheme we put up with since we know not better way of not killing each other or exterminating ourselves as a species... Having to contort and torture one's personality just so you can be "socially adept" is a great pain, and when one occasionally gets away with being able not to do this it's NOT "a personality flaw". One ought to care firstly for developing his/her personality in whichever way himself sees fit. If it doesn't fit well with society it's not a "flaw"! (Yeah, if goes overboard and results in a team totally breaking up... even that is not a big deal! Some companies are worth breaking up into pieces. Heck, as long as people aren't literally killing each other it's still not "a flaw". Stop being insensitive and discriminating against people with other notions of relating themselves with the thinggy we call "society" and perpetuating this oppressive culture of admonishing people for being "socially inept". Maybe those people have something better to do with their lives!)
- monktastic1 9y ago
  > just a nasty scheme we put up with since we know not better way of not killing each other or exterminating ourselves as a species Sometimes I "have to do stuff to keep my wife happy." Once I discovered that I'm doing it because I want both her and myself to be happy, and stopped viewing it as an obligation, my life significantly improved. I learned to enjoy the ride. I think it made life a little better for the people around me, too. I learned that being petulant/sulky/edgy was not a sign of sophistication or wisdom. Similarly, if we don't want to kill each other or exterminate ourselves as a species, then "society" doesn't have to feel so nasty. If you really do want to burn it all down, then by all means, go right ahead. At least that's authentic. But to choose to live amongst society, and still begrudge it, is insanely unhealthy. Literally.
  - nnq 9y ago
    I generally agree with you. My "begrudging" was mostly misdirected anger at the parent poster's attitude of labeling as "flawed personality" the act of very rarely and softly lashing out at society every now and then. Society only gets nasty when we forget its purpose and add too many restrictive rules on top of it and then rationalizations for those rules and so on...

by remon 9y ago

nnq 9y ago

> Being socially inept is [...] a personality flaw. That's a very dangerous and messed up reasoning. For a significant proportion of the population "society" is just a nasty scheme we put up with since we know not better way of not killing each other or exterminating ourselves as a species... Having to contort and torture one's personality just so you can be "socially adept" is a great pain, and when one occasionally gets away with being able not to do this it's NOT "a personality flaw". One ought to care firstly for developing his/her personality in whichever way himself sees fit. If it doesn't fit well with society it's not a "flaw"! (Yeah, if goes overboard and results in a team totally breaking up... even that is not a big deal! Some companies are worth breaking up into pieces. Heck, as long as people aren't literally killing each other it's still not "a flaw". Stop being insensitive and discriminating against people with other notions of relating themselves with the thinggy we call "society" and perpetuating this oppressive culture of admonishing people for being "socially inept". Maybe those people have something better to do with their lives!)

monktastic1 9y ago
> just a nasty scheme we put up with since we know not better way of not killing each other or exterminating ourselves as a species Sometimes I "have to do stuff to keep my wife happy." Once I discovered that I'm doing it because I want both her and myself to be happy, and stopped viewing it as an obligation, my life significantly improved. I learned to enjoy the ride. I think it made life a little better for the people around me, too. I learned that being petulant/sulky/edgy was not a sign of sophistication or wisdom. Similarly, if we don't want to kill each other or exterminate ourselves as a species, then "society" doesn't have to feel so nasty. If you really do want to burn it all down, then by all means, go right ahead. At least that's authentic. But to choose to live amongst society, and still begrudge it, is insanely unhealthy. Literally.
- nnq 9y ago
  I generally agree with you. My "begrudging" was mostly misdirected anger at the parent poster's attitude of labeling as "flawed personality" the act of very rarely and softly lashing out at society every now and then. Society only gets nasty when we forget its purpose and add too many restrictive rules on top of it and then rationalizations for those rules and so on...