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"irrational people" != people with "undiagnosed and untreated personality disorders" I just think it's important to iterate that. At the beginning of your comm

• vinceguidry 9y ago
  Hmm. I didn't understand that they had such crosses to bear at the time. I just knew that they were acting irrationally. If they were rational, then remaining calm would have worked. It didn't, so I needed a different approach. I didn't work out until later that they had PDs and what that meant. Nobody can know that another person has a PD until a pattern of interactions makes it clear. Also, as you can see further down in the comments to your parent, iterating in that direction leaves the impression that you're being an armchair psychologist. I think it's important to retain the aspect of the narrative that you didn't know what situation you were in when you were dealing with it.
  • deleted 9y ago
    [deleted]
  • emmelaich 9y ago
    Not that it applies to your case particularly but ... > remaining calm is not always right. I know people who see 'being calm' in the face of anger or provocation as being apathetic -- somewhat lifeless and inhuman. Which enrages them. Anger is a normal human emotion -- don't overdo it and don't underdo it. This calibration might take most of your life.
    • vinceguidry 9y ago
      Good thoughts. :)