I think sometimes there's a tendency to conflate overt racism, like someone verbally abusing you using racial epithets, with racism in general. Racism still exi

I think sometimes there's a tendency to conflate overt racism, like someone verbally abusing you using racial epithets, with racism in general. Racism still exists everywhere in the United States, but having grown up in the south, and based on the experiences of my spouse, who also grew up in the south, I can say quite confidently that "rampant" is no hyperbole. If you are visibly different, especially in a way that tends to be politicized, people will stare at you. They will treat you differently when you're a customer of their business. You will know that you can expect far less comfort from the police, and that you have to watch your back in case you happen to run into someone dangerous. This article helps to demonstrate experiences like ours: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/16/opinion/sunday/the-risks-of-traveling-while-queer.html https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/16/opinion/sunday/the-risks-... You can feel unsafe without actually being attacked. And you can actually see people, in real time, choose to send you signals that you are unsafe. When someone is staring at you in a gas station, this is often their intention. You know that they know that you know that you are unwelcome. Imagine any of these subtler experiences of racism or homophobia or transphobia, but applied over and over again, and the composite feeling of discomfort that arises. Again, trust isn't about the outlier cases. It's about how you feel, all the time. When we are traveling in the south, even as people born there, we can't completely relax until we're alone, in a hotel room or on an empty road. We don't think about it all the time, but the anxiety is always there. And it's not just frightening, it's sad. It's depressing to be reminded that you don't have the same freedoms and privileges that other people have. It's suffocating.