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I performed poorly at my last two jobs and eventually got laid off. I think the main reason is my constant net surfing from one news site to another. It started

by hi41 9y ago

I performed poorly at my last two jobs and eventually got laid off. I think the main reason is my constant net surfing from one news site to another. It started like this. I would issue the build and it would take few minutes. I used to go to a news site during that time. More builds and more surfing followed. Now I find it hard to focus. I need help. Can someone please suggest me some remedies. I don't have the resources to go to net addiction camps.

christophilus 9y ago
My suggestion is a difficult one: go on a silent retreat. No internet, cell phone, electronics. At least 3 days is my recommendation. 5 days is ideal. I don't know about other religions, but any Trappist or Benedictine monastery will let you into their guest house-- and feed you-- for free regardless of your religious affiliations. (You generally have to book ahead of time, and they do appreciate donations at the end of your stay.) While there, spend time in meditation. Maybe start with 5 minutes at a time, and try to increase it over the course of the retreat. Go on long walks. Read some books and do some journaling, but limit your reading/journaling time. I think 3 days is the bare minimum, because I find that it takes me 2 days to get my head out of my day-to-day life. The downside (?) is that when you return to the real world, you will realize just how noisy and stressful it is. Just turning my cell phone back on activated a stress response in me the last time i retreated. Once you return to the real world, continue to spend time in daily solitude (alone, silent, and still). I've found this practice makes a big difference in my level of self control. Other things that have helped me: creating a daily task list for myself, each task being short and clear and relatively easy to do. Break big tasks down into smaller, bite-sized ones. Try to do the most important ones first. If there are particularly egregious tasks, assign a reward to each and do them early. (The reward might be, "If I finish this task, I'll go out for a walk / get a nice porter at the pub / read Hacker News.")
- hi41 9y ago
  Christophilus, thank you so much for taking the time for writing such a thoughtful response. I will try some of the things you mentioned. About a month back I deleted my Whatsapp account because I realized I was compulsively checking it. It has brought me some relief. The silent retreat you suggested indeed sounds right even though I find it scary because I have never once attempted to remain silent for a decent length of time. It may be needed to break my compulsive use of smartphone, surfing web.
snikeris 9y ago
> It started like this. I would issue the build and it would take few minutes. I used to go to a news site during that time. Just sit there and wait for the build to finish. Look out the window if you have one close.
- hi41 9y ago
  Yes, I should have done that as looking out the window at a tree would have been organic and unlike the sensationalist news. I did not realize how much harm my constant checking of websites have done to my attention. Now I don't have a job and for reason I need to find the cobra insurance did not work yesterday. My daughter has asthma and I paid $450 to buy Albuterol and Flovent. I think I will eventually get it reimbursed from the insurance carrier but the guilt I felt for ruining my jobs and the shame I felt. oh God.

by hi41 9y ago

christophilus 9y ago

My suggestion is a difficult one: go on a silent retreat. No internet, cell phone, electronics. At least 3 days is my recommendation. 5 days is ideal. I don't know about other religions, but any Trappist or Benedictine monastery will let you into their guest house-- and feed you-- for free regardless of your religious affiliations. (You generally have to book ahead of time, and they do appreciate donations at the end of your stay.) While there, spend time in meditation. Maybe start with 5 minutes at a time, and try to increase it over the course of the retreat. Go on long walks. Read some books and do some journaling, but limit your reading/journaling time. I think 3 days is the bare minimum, because I find that it takes me 2 days to get my head out of my day-to-day life. The downside (?) is that when you return to the real world, you will realize just how noisy and stressful it is. Just turning my cell phone back on activated a stress response in me the last time i retreated. Once you return to the real world, continue to spend time in daily solitude (alone, silent, and still). I've found this practice makes a big difference in my level of self control. Other things that have helped me: creating a daily task list for myself, each task being short and clear and relatively easy to do. Break big tasks down into smaller, bite-sized ones. Try to do the most important ones first. If there are particularly egregious tasks, assign a reward to each and do them early. (The reward might be, "If I finish this task, I'll go out for a walk / get a nice porter at the pub / read Hacker News.")

hi41 9y ago
Christophilus, thank you so much for taking the time for writing such a thoughtful response. I will try some of the things you mentioned. About a month back I deleted my Whatsapp account because I realized I was compulsively checking it. It has brought me some relief. The silent retreat you suggested indeed sounds right even though I find it scary because I have never once attempted to remain silent for a decent length of time. It may be needed to break my compulsive use of smartphone, surfing web.

snikeris 9y ago

> It started like this. I would issue the build and it would take few minutes. I used to go to a news site during that time. Just sit there and wait for the build to finish. Look out the window if you have one close.

hi41 9y ago
Yes, I should have done that as looking out the window at a tree would have been organic and unlike the sensationalist news. I did not realize how much harm my constant checking of websites have done to my attention. Now I don't have a job and for reason I need to find the cobra insurance did not work yesterday. My daughter has asthma and I paid $450 to buy Albuterol and Flovent. I think I will eventually get it reimbursed from the insurance carrier but the guilt I felt for ruining my jobs and the shame I felt. oh God.