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Agree with the sibling comment. I've heard that tune (how come your kids don't motivate you, etc) so many times when dealing with crippling depression and anxie

by smnscu 9y ago

Agree with the sibling comment. I've heard that tune (how come your kids don't motivate you, etc) so many times when dealing with crippling depression and anxiety. I have 3 children now and much better mentally, but holy shit did I have my share of trite, flippant advice.

skrebbel 9y ago
You seem to suggest that my comment was (trite, flippant) depression advice. I'm not entirely sure how you can read my comment as depression advice given that nothing in the thread had anything to do with depression. It's like A: Wow I respect people who can lift heavy stuff B: Oh come on it's just a matter of workout C: Holy shit I've had my share of trite flippant workout advice but I have myasthenia so workout won't cut it, come on. (I react a bit strongly because I'd never give depression advice. I have no fucking clue about depression except that well-meant tips from people like me don't help, at best. I stay out of the way and leave depression to trained shrinks and people with experience)
- TeMPOraL 9y ago
  Here's the connection: A: "Im not sure I'd have the strength to do it myself if I had to" [because I'm depressed / have anxiety issues / am utterly burned out mentally]. B: "You'd have the strength to do that, too, if your (children's) livelihood depended on it. It's really not that hard if the other option is being evicted from your house." C: You missed the [...] part. The depression link is in square brackets. Can't say if it applies to 'HiroshiSan, but it applies to some people (to some extent, including myself - I had moments when I was barely hanging by a thread). Some people doubt they'd be able to handle it because they know they lack the psychological strength. And in depression, being threatened ("you have to do it, or else your family starves") may only makes things worse - it might just push someone past their breaking point.
- smnscu 9y ago
  I was going off on a tangent, your comment merely reminded me of what I was referencing, so I'm sorry to have implied otherwise.
  - skrebbel 9y ago
    Appreciate that, and I totally understand. Fwiw, sorry for coming at you so hard. All the best to you!
- RichardBly 9y ago
  Dont take it too personally. You are right you didnt MENTION depression but a lot of the underlying drivers for the phenomena are just that-- depression and one of the biggest and most painful places is in the arena of parenting. Not clear if you have kids, but divorce, economic hardship and separation create a great deal of pain which can feed things like procastination and rebellion as described in the original post

by smnscu 9y ago

skrebbel 9y ago

You seem to suggest that my comment was (trite, flippant) depression advice. I'm not entirely sure how you can read my comment as depression advice given that nothing in the thread had anything to do with depression. It's like A: Wow I respect people who can lift heavy stuff B: Oh come on it's just a matter of workout C: Holy shit I've had my share of trite flippant workout advice but I have myasthenia so workout won't cut it, come on. (I react a bit strongly because I'd never give depression advice. I have no fucking clue about depression except that well-meant tips from people like me don't help, at best. I stay out of the way and leave depression to trained shrinks and people with experience)

TeMPOraL 9y ago
Here's the connection: A: "Im not sure I'd have the strength to do it myself if I had to" [because I'm depressed / have anxiety issues / am utterly burned out mentally]. B: "You'd have the strength to do that, too, if your (children's) livelihood depended on it. It's really not that hard if the other option is being evicted from your house." C: You missed the [...] part. The depression link is in square brackets. Can't say if it applies to 'HiroshiSan, but it applies to some people (to some extent, including myself - I had moments when I was barely hanging by a thread). Some people doubt they'd be able to handle it because they know they lack the psychological strength. And in depression, being threatened ("you have to do it, or else your family starves") may only makes things worse - it might just push someone past their breaking point.
smnscu 9y ago
I was going off on a tangent, your comment merely reminded me of what I was referencing, so I'm sorry to have implied otherwise.
- skrebbel 9y ago
  Appreciate that, and I totally understand. Fwiw, sorry for coming at you so hard. All the best to you!
RichardBly 9y ago
Dont take it too personally. You are right you didnt MENTION depression but a lot of the underlying drivers for the phenomena are just that-- depression and one of the biggest and most painful places is in the arena of parenting. Not clear if you have kids, but divorce, economic hardship and separation create a great deal of pain which can feed things like procastination and rebellion as described in the original post