Maybe the answer is more transparency on the market value of the options. For example, if I get X options (common stock), it'd be nice to know the market value

Maybe the answer is more transparency on the market value of the options. For example, if I get X options (common stock), it'd be nice to know the market value of those options [as of last funding round]. I could then divide by 4 (vesting), and know this is an upper-cap on their worth (because preferred vs common, dilution, strike price, liquidation preferences, lockout period). So to repeat, if you consider it a problem that engineers don't value options, perhaps give them all the relevant information they need to value those shares.