4 ms·

Not sure, but I'm baffled why people choose to do so. If you've published anything, for example, don't you want to keep your name attached to it?

chrisseaton 9y ago
For many couples it’s a traditional part of the change a marriage brings and the symbolism is worth the inconvenience. Women wear wedding rings and they’re not materially useful either and have a cost. Inconvenient symbolism isn’t an unusual part of human culture!
corprew 9y ago
Some people continue to use their original name professionally, but their payroll and tax forms have to be filed under their new name.
manmal 9y ago
IMO the main reason is that your kids bear the father’s last name. Convention has it that kids bear the father‘s name, and this „works better“ if everybody in the family has the same name. I‘m not saying it is good or anything.. but this is the reason why many in my country (Austria) marry before the first child arrives.
- Aardwolf 9y ago
  So in Belgium most people don't change names, and it causes zero problems and makes it seem weird why anybody would ever do such a thing, I mean when I first heard about this I was totally baffled: What about your email address? Your publications? Your personal projects? Your github? It's crazyness! If you can remember different first names, why couldn't you remember different last names? As for kids: it's pretty simple, pick a name of one of the parents. Nothing confusing about it. A name (first+last combo) is an identifier of a person.
  - chrisseaton 9y ago
    > it seem weird why anybody would ever do such a thing Are you seriously baffled why people choose to do symbolic things to show their love for each other and show how they are bringing their lives together, even when it isn't convenient to do so? If you genuinely are then I can't imagine how you are living day-to-day in human society because people do all kind of things like that in all parts of society.
    - Aardwolf 9y ago
      The writer of the original article seemed to be not particularly happy to have to "deal with that experience", so was it a choice, or was it an expectation of society there? It's not a constructive expectation of a society to have imho. A name is an identifier of a person. You need a first and last one to have less same-name clashes.
      - chrisseaton 9y ago
        You'd have to ask her. She may have wanted to change her name, and was just disappointed that the process wasn't easier, such as publishers having some kind of system to help you, or something like that maybe. But yes I guess it's possible her mother nagged her to do it or some other kind of social pressure, that's possible. But as I say you'd have to ask her.
  - deleted 9y ago
    [deleted]
  - TheCoelacanth 9y ago
    > What about your email address? Your publications? Your personal projects? Your github? What portion of people do you think have any of those other than the email address (which for many people's personal addresses doesn't even include their full name)? For my wife at least, the email address is what convinced her to change her name because it made it possible for her to get the address firstnamelastname@gmail.com.
Kihashi 9y ago
A lot of professional women (in the US, at least) run into that problem-- They either don't change their name and deal with the social problems that entails or they change their legal name but still publish under their previous name and deal with the professional implications. Publishing under a new name is also an option, but, as you said, makes it much harder to get your work connected to you.
- Aardwolf 9y ago
  That's what I mean: what social problems? Who is forcing to change a name?
  - chrisseaton 9y ago
    Nobody's forcing anyone to do anything (in the countries I'm aware of). This whole thing is people about what two people choose to do between themselves, so I don't see why anyone should have any opinion on it at all.
  - lucozade 9y ago
    It's not forced but where it's culturally common it's often the default presumption. My wife didn't change her name but that meant she has a different surname to our children. That can cause minor annoyances in airports, for example. It's not a big deal, and it's fairly predictable, but it's a thing.
- eh78ssxv2f 9y ago
  > and deal with the social problems that entails Can somebody explain a bit on what social problems can women expect in US for not changing names?
  - organsnyder 9y ago
    The main social problem comes when you have kids: if partners have different names, the kids will have names that don't match one of the partners, or will need a hyphenated-combination of the two. The ramifications of this will depend on how common it is for women to not change their names in your particular locale: if it's uncommon, there will be some confusion when people expect children and parents' names to match, as well as people wondering about whether the child is actually your stepchild, etc. Of course, those judgmental/insensitive reactions are inappropriate, but they do happen.
antonkm 9y ago
I changed my name when I married (am male). I haven't had any problems or repercussions changing names, professionally or personally. Some reasons why I changed name: 1. My kids and I now share all surnames. 2. I had no relation to any parts of the family that shared my previous last name. 3. It felt a teeny weeny bit progressive being the male who changed. Not everything is black and white and needs to focus on business needs... :) Accounts were easily renamed (except Skype, bluh) and no one has asked me for any of my papers or research. Just add them to your profile as you would before you changed name.
gnopgnip 9y ago
Because when you have kids, you will all have the same name. Otherwise, one of you will have a different last name.

chrisseaton 9y ago

For many couples it’s a traditional part of the change a marriage brings and the symbolism is worth the inconvenience. Women wear wedding rings and they’re not materially useful either and have a cost. Inconvenient symbolism isn’t an unusual part of human culture!

corprew 9y ago

Some people continue to use their original name professionally, but their payroll and tax forms have to be filed under their new name.

manmal 9y ago

IMO the main reason is that your kids bear the father’s last name. Convention has it that kids bear the father‘s name, and this „works better“ if everybody in the family has the same name. I‘m not saying it is good or anything.. but this is the reason why many in my country (Austria) marry before the first child arrives.

Aardwolf 9y ago
So in Belgium most people don't change names, and it causes zero problems and makes it seem weird why anybody would ever do such a thing, I mean when I first heard about this I was totally baffled: What about your email address? Your publications? Your personal projects? Your github? It's crazyness! If you can remember different first names, why couldn't you remember different last names? As for kids: it's pretty simple, pick a name of one of the parents. Nothing confusing about it. A name (first+last combo) is an identifier of a person.
- chrisseaton 9y ago
  > it seem weird why anybody would ever do such a thing Are you seriously baffled why people choose to do symbolic things to show their love for each other and show how they are bringing their lives together, even when it isn't convenient to do so? If you genuinely are then I can't imagine how you are living day-to-day in human society because people do all kind of things like that in all parts of society.
  - Aardwolf 9y ago
    The writer of the original article seemed to be not particularly happy to have to "deal with that experience", so was it a choice, or was it an expectation of society there? It's not a constructive expectation of a society to have imho. A name is an identifier of a person. You need a first and last one to have less same-name clashes.
    - chrisseaton 9y ago
      You'd have to ask her. She may have wanted to change her name, and was just disappointed that the process wasn't easier, such as publishers having some kind of system to help you, or something like that maybe. But yes I guess it's possible her mother nagged her to do it or some other kind of social pressure, that's possible. But as I say you'd have to ask her.
- deleted 9y ago
  [deleted]
- TheCoelacanth 9y ago
  > What about your email address? Your publications? Your personal projects? Your github? What portion of people do you think have any of those other than the email address (which for many people's personal addresses doesn't even include their full name)? For my wife at least, the email address is what convinced her to change her name because it made it possible for her to get the address firstnamelastname@gmail.com.

Kihashi 9y ago

A lot of professional women (in the US, at least) run into that problem-- They either don't change their name and deal with the social problems that entails or they change their legal name but still publish under their previous name and deal with the professional implications. Publishing under a new name is also an option, but, as you said, makes it much harder to get your work connected to you.

Aardwolf 9y ago
That's what I mean: what social problems? Who is forcing to change a name?
- chrisseaton 9y ago
  Nobody's forcing anyone to do anything (in the countries I'm aware of). This whole thing is people about what two people choose to do between themselves, so I don't see why anyone should have any opinion on it at all.
- lucozade 9y ago
  It's not forced but where it's culturally common it's often the default presumption. My wife didn't change her name but that meant she has a different surname to our children. That can cause minor annoyances in airports, for example. It's not a big deal, and it's fairly predictable, but it's a thing.
eh78ssxv2f 9y ago
> and deal with the social problems that entails Can somebody explain a bit on what social problems can women expect in US for not changing names?
- organsnyder 9y ago
  The main social problem comes when you have kids: if partners have different names, the kids will have names that don't match one of the partners, or will need a hyphenated-combination of the two. The ramifications of this will depend on how common it is for women to not change their names in your particular locale: if it's uncommon, there will be some confusion when people expect children and parents' names to match, as well as people wondering about whether the child is actually your stepchild, etc. Of course, those judgmental/insensitive reactions are inappropriate, but they do happen.

antonkm 9y ago

I changed my name when I married (am male). I haven't had any problems or repercussions changing names, professionally or personally. Some reasons why I changed name: 1. My kids and I now share all surnames. 2. I had no relation to any parts of the family that shared my previous last name. 3. It felt a teeny weeny bit progressive being the male who changed. Not everything is black and white and needs to focus on business needs... :) Accounts were easily renamed (except Skype, bluh) and no one has asked me for any of my papers or research. Just add them to your profile as you would before you changed name.

gnopgnip 9y ago

Because when you have kids, you will all have the same name. Otherwise, one of you will have a different last name.