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We should also celebrate people's flaws. There's no such thing as an entirely good person. Aaron had mental issues. But those same issues were what gave him st

We should also celebrate people's flaws. There's no such thing as an entirely good person. Aaron had mental issues. But those same issues were what gave him strength, because they were a part of him. If you took them away, Aaron wouldn't be Aaron. If we celebrate people's flaws, maybe people won't feel like they're not allowed to have flaws. And maybe that might help people who feel like ending it. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16089930 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=16089930 The response to that was overwhelmingly positive. Over 20 people reached out. It feels time to help people who are concealing problems. The internet gives us recourse. I don't know Aaron's motivations toward the end, but it feels true that if he had just kept talking, things might have turned out differently.

jacquesm 9y ago
Mental issues are flaws but they don't make a person bad in my book.
- sillysaurus3 9y ago
  Mm, yes and no. It's one of those things where if you reveal you have them, you feel like less of a person. People look at you differently. Be honest: If you were in a position of authority, would you place someone with known suicidal tendencies in a position of power? What if things went very badly? How about someone with outbursts of anger, or serious sleep issues that prevent them from showing up to work on time? When people feel pressure to conceal their problems, the pressure builds. Aaron had some political aspirations, and a felony conviction would've precluded him from running for certain offices. Maybe that, combined with his internal issues, may have made him feel like less of a person. I don't know. I just want people to feel okay with themselves, however they are. Once people realize that it's genuinely ok to have issues, hopefully society will relax a bit. Or maybe there is no solution, and people will eventually take their own lives for one reason or another. And that's ok too. We can remind them that it's not the only option, and give them some space to unwind. That seems like the crux of it: People are so hung up on doing well or being a good person or accomplishing their careers, that their whole self-worth is tied up in it. When it goes badly, it's easy to take it out on yourself. But there's no reason to. The chips fall wherever they fall.
  - jacquesm 9y ago
    > Aaron had some political aspirations, and a felony conviction would've precluded him from running for certain offices. Maybe that, combined with his internal issues, may have made him feel like less of a person. I don't know. If you don't know then don't speculate.
    - chris_wot 9y ago
      I agree.
      - sillysaurus3 9y ago
        He felt something, near the end. Put yourself in his shoes. Speculation is all we can do, if we're serious about trying to prevent this in the future. Giving people an outlet is important. The people who reached out to me often felt cornered, for one reason or another. Isn't it reasonable to suppose Aaron felt the similarly? If people feel like they're allowed to open up about their issues, it can really do some good. But that won't happen by trying to hush people. Readers: If any of you are considering any extreme action, contact me first. I'll listen. And I won't judge you. I know at least one of you has had similar thoughts. So reach out instead.
        Nooseofaaron 9y ago
        That is a straight up fucking lie. This community is so adorable.
        DanBC 9y ago
        > Speculation is all we can do, if we're serious about trying to prevent this in the future. No no, if you want to prevent suicide you should avoid specualting on what went on in a person's mind. Suicide is a complex phenomena, and it's wrong to boil it down to one or two things.
        sillysaurus3 9y ago
- icantdrive55 9y ago
  Actually, the people I have know that had issues, should be in positions of authority. So many are not given the chance to get back on track, or retreat from it all together.

jacquesm 9y ago

Mental issues are flaws but they don't make a person bad in my book.

sillysaurus3 9y ago
Mm, yes and no. It's one of those things where if you reveal you have them, you feel like less of a person. People look at you differently. Be honest: If you were in a position of authority, would you place someone with known suicidal tendencies in a position of power? What if things went very badly? How about someone with outbursts of anger, or serious sleep issues that prevent them from showing up to work on time? When people feel pressure to conceal their problems, the pressure builds. Aaron had some political aspirations, and a felony conviction would've precluded him from running for certain offices. Maybe that, combined with his internal issues, may have made him feel like less of a person. I don't know. I just want people to feel okay with themselves, however they are. Once people realize that it's genuinely ok to have issues, hopefully society will relax a bit. Or maybe there is no solution, and people will eventually take their own lives for one reason or another. And that's ok too. We can remind them that it's not the only option, and give them some space to unwind. That seems like the crux of it: People are so hung up on doing well or being a good person or accomplishing their careers, that their whole self-worth is tied up in it. When it goes badly, it's easy to take it out on yourself. But there's no reason to. The chips fall wherever they fall.
- jacquesm 9y ago
  > Aaron had some political aspirations, and a felony conviction would've precluded him from running for certain offices. Maybe that, combined with his internal issues, may have made him feel like less of a person. I don't know. If you don't know then don't speculate.
  - chris_wot 9y ago
    I agree.
    - sillysaurus3 9y ago
      He felt something, near the end. Put yourself in his shoes. Speculation is all we can do, if we're serious about trying to prevent this in the future. Giving people an outlet is important. The people who reached out to me often felt cornered, for one reason or another. Isn't it reasonable to suppose Aaron felt the similarly? If people feel like they're allowed to open up about their issues, it can really do some good. But that won't happen by trying to hush people. Readers: If any of you are considering any extreme action, contact me first. I'll listen. And I won't judge you. I know at least one of you has had similar thoughts. So reach out instead.
      - Nooseofaaron 9y ago
        That is a straight up fucking lie. This community is so adorable.
      - DanBC 9y ago
        > Speculation is all we can do, if we're serious about trying to prevent this in the future. No no, if you want to prevent suicide you should avoid specualting on what went on in a person's mind. Suicide is a complex phenomena, and it's wrong to boil it down to one or two things.
        sillysaurus3 9y ago
icantdrive55 9y ago
Actually, the people I have know that had issues, should be in positions of authority. So many are not given the chance to get back on track, or retreat from it all together.