4 ms·

I don't want kids, but I really want to find someone to not feel alone and depressed. Since I broke up with my gf after 10 years that we had been together I fee

by n0tme 9y ago

I don't want kids, but I really want to find someone to not feel alone and depressed. Since I broke up with my gf after 10 years that we had been together I feel more depressed every freaking day.

throwaway12332 9y ago
Get a pet; dog, hamster... even bright aquarium is nice.
- n0tme 9y ago
  Very funny, bro. Especially fish are big fans of conversations.
  - throwaway12332 9y ago
    Not a joke, you thing you are the only one in such situation?
    - n0tme 9y ago
      Thanks for making me feel special! Now seriously: Did I say something like this? I just have another situation which is kind of close to the one in the post.
- ranie93 9y ago
  I agree. Although its hard to suggest it without knowing additional details of the GP. They may not be in a right spot to care for a pet, or even care to do so in the first place. However, if they are, a pet can make a world of difference.
stronglikedan 9y ago
I was in your shoes until a couple of years ago. About four years ago, I got out of an eight year relationship where I was promised a marriage and family that never materialized. Being middle-aged, it now seemed like a daunting task, and I quickly sunk into my first ever depression without even realizing it (in fact, I wasn't even a true believer until I was). Once I did realize it, I took myself straight to a counselor for talk therapy. He diagnosed me with depression and depression related anxiety, and referred me to a psych for meds. I've been on wellbutrin for a couple of years now, and while I still struggle with depression every day, it's less and less, instead of the more and more you feel right now. I'm getting out of the house a bit more, and I'm just now starting to date again, but I don't believe I could have done any of that on my own. Point is, start by talking to someone. That's all it took to set me on the right path, and hopefully you'll be so lucky. Just be patient, as it can be a long process (most of which is up to you). Sometimes it's a chemical imbalance that you just cannot overcome by yourself no matter how hard you try. Best of luck!
- n0tme 9y ago
  Hey, thanks for your answer. The problem is I believe that I know in advance what any therapist would tell me. I believe I know how to fix myself and my situation. The problem is: it's hard to do it. Sounds stupid, but that's how it is. And no, I don't feel special, by any means. I hope you'll get your piece of happiness.
  - stronglikedan 9y ago
    I knew in advance what I would be told, and I knew how to fix myself but found a hard time starting. It doesn't sound stupid, at all. When you talk to a therapist, they'll tell you what you already know, and maybe tell you some new things to try, and definitely tell you some things you don't want to hear. The weird thing that I didn't expect was that it works for the one reason I didn't consider. I was fine with disappointing myself (even used to it), but I didn't want to disappoint someone else. I didn't want to go back and tell them that I didn't try, so I tried. I tried a little more each week, and eventually got to the point where there was nothing left to try, and nothing left to discuss. Now I just let the meds slowly rewire my chemical imbalances without the need for talk therapy.

by n0tme 9y ago

I don't want kids, but I really want to find someone to not feel alone and depressed. Since I broke up with my gf after 10 years that we had been together I feel more depressed every freaking day.

throwaway12332 9y ago

Get a pet; dog, hamster... even bright aquarium is nice.

n0tme 9y ago
Very funny, bro. Especially fish are big fans of conversations.
- throwaway12332 9y ago
  Not a joke, you thing you are the only one in such situation?
  - n0tme 9y ago
    Thanks for making me feel special! Now seriously: Did I say something like this? I just have another situation which is kind of close to the one in the post.
ranie93 9y ago
I agree. Although its hard to suggest it without knowing additional details of the GP. They may not be in a right spot to care for a pet, or even care to do so in the first place. However, if they are, a pet can make a world of difference.

stronglikedan 9y ago

I was in your shoes until a couple of years ago. About four years ago, I got out of an eight year relationship where I was promised a marriage and family that never materialized. Being middle-aged, it now seemed like a daunting task, and I quickly sunk into my first ever depression without even realizing it (in fact, I wasn't even a true believer until I was). Once I did realize it, I took myself straight to a counselor for talk therapy. He diagnosed me with depression and depression related anxiety, and referred me to a psych for meds. I've been on wellbutrin for a couple of years now, and while I still struggle with depression every day, it's less and less, instead of the more and more you feel right now. I'm getting out of the house a bit more, and I'm just now starting to date again, but I don't believe I could have done any of that on my own. Point is, start by talking to someone. That's all it took to set me on the right path, and hopefully you'll be so lucky. Just be patient, as it can be a long process (most of which is up to you). Sometimes it's a chemical imbalance that you just cannot overcome by yourself no matter how hard you try. Best of luck!

n0tme 9y ago
Hey, thanks for your answer. The problem is I believe that I know in advance what any therapist would tell me. I believe I know how to fix myself and my situation. The problem is: it's hard to do it. Sounds stupid, but that's how it is. And no, I don't feel special, by any means. I hope you'll get your piece of happiness.
- stronglikedan 9y ago
  I knew in advance what I would be told, and I knew how to fix myself but found a hard time starting. It doesn't sound stupid, at all. When you talk to a therapist, they'll tell you what you already know, and maybe tell you some new things to try, and definitely tell you some things you don't want to hear. The weird thing that I didn't expect was that it works for the one reason I didn't consider. I was fine with disappointing myself (even used to it), but I didn't want to disappoint someone else. I didn't want to go back and tell them that I didn't try, so I tried. I tried a little more each week, and eventually got to the point where there was nothing left to try, and nothing left to discuss. Now I just let the meds slowly rewire my chemical imbalances without the need for talk therapy.