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I think this is a result of the ever increasing age at which people have children. One of the first things I said after having a son at 30 was: "Man I could hav

I think this is a result of the ever increasing age at which people have children. One of the first things I said after having a son at 30 was: "Man I could have handled the sleepless nights much better at 23." In fact I often went out on Friday night, take a shower and proceeded to work 10 hrs in the super market, this would kill me now (at 35). Moreover, the longer you wait, the more accustomed you are to freedom and a lot of money. Not having children at 35 you can work for a small house and travel a lot (where I work now you can easily get away with 2 months of vacation a year, part of it unpaid) or perhaps do a lot of gaming of you wish... then you have children and that all ends, or it doesn't and it becomes hard work. I have friends without kids and with the adventurous life style and I tell myself: It'll come again, take it easy, raise kids, enjoy the ride. Still sometimes I feel myself hoping they reach the age they can ride a Mountain Bike asap and I can get back to adventurous trips... But it will come, there are a lot of things to enjoy now, watching children explore the world, it's absolutely great, but don't compare yourself to people without children, or if you do make the comparison holistically... do not just look at their Facebook lives. There are many childless couples that would swap with these regretting mothers and fathers in a heartbeat. All that said, I think it is good taboos as in this article are being lifted, perhaps kids are not for everyone and it is not all fun and roses even though society almost expects you to say and act like it is. Strangely it is also not very appreciated if you go on about your deep love for your children either... these are strange times perhaps.

menacingly 9y ago
I think the age thing is because we're all coached to wait until we're "ready", but in reality no one is ever ready. You just have to dive in.
- somethingorothr 9y ago
  Don't ignore economic factors. Stagnating wages, delayed careers due to the 2001 and 2007 crashes and subsequent recessions, and increased debt all conspire to put people in a position where having kids in their 20s is simply not an option.
  - menacingly 9y ago
    That's a fair point, too
jxramos 9y ago
Spot on about the allnighters ability in our 20s, I'm convinced that was our bioligical optimum for progenerating. Peak attraction, peak energy levels, peak libido, minimum sleep requirements. Your point on the the longer you grow more accustomed is spot on too. There some some interesting talk I watched somewhere by Charles Murray that made the distinction between a startup marriage vs a merger marriage. A startup was one that begun early in life while attitudes and worldviews of the couple were still green and flexible. A merger marriage was said to be one where both had long established reigns of adulthood where tastes and preferences fixed onto whatever they did and one has to deal with the complexity of reconciling compatibility rather than growing in unison in a commonly forged compatibility. Something to that extent.

menacingly 9y ago

I think the age thing is because we're all coached to wait until we're "ready", but in reality no one is ever ready. You just have to dive in.

somethingorothr 9y ago
Don't ignore economic factors. Stagnating wages, delayed careers due to the 2001 and 2007 crashes and subsequent recessions, and increased debt all conspire to put people in a position where having kids in their 20s is simply not an option.
- menacingly 9y ago
  That's a fair point, too

jxramos 9y ago

Spot on about the allnighters ability in our 20s, I'm convinced that was our bioligical optimum for progenerating. Peak attraction, peak energy levels, peak libido, minimum sleep requirements. Your point on the the longer you grow more accustomed is spot on too. There some some interesting talk I watched somewhere by Charles Murray that made the distinction between a startup marriage vs a merger marriage. A startup was one that begun early in life while attitudes and worldviews of the couple were still green and flexible. A merger marriage was said to be one where both had long established reigns of adulthood where tastes and preferences fixed onto whatever they did and one has to deal with the complexity of reconciling compatibility rather than growing in unison in a commonly forged compatibility. Something to that extent.