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> "It's the most work we have ever done in our life" (and I build startups!)... "We got no sleep last night, she woke up at 2 AM and wouldn't go back to bed."

> "It's the most work we have ever done in our life" (and I build startups!)... "We got no sleep last night, she woke up at 2 AM and wouldn't go back to bed." what do people expect when they have babies? that it will take care of itself? There's a thing called Postpartum Depression that is real and usually occurs right after having kids. Raising babies are hard but once they become toddlers it gets far easier. I don't have sympathy for anyone who complains about not getting enough sleep in the first 6 months. I was watching The Walking Dead at 1am in the mornings because baby woke up and had to feed him till he slept again. Oh and then right to work at 8am for almost 2 months. He's 3 now and now attempting to wipe his own ass for a change. You're a parent, deal with that responsibility.

monktastic1 9y ago
I don't understand the "no sympathy" part. When a friend runs a marathon, yes, they expected to be totally out of breath and have jellified legs, but I still cheer them on and help them recover and celebrate. I don't think I'd be a very good friend if during the race I were saying (or even thinking) "I have no sympathy for you, what did you expect?" -- even if they're complaining. To me, this seems related to the purpose of the article: being a parent requires a stiff upper lip according to our culture, unlike most everything else in life.
- ankjl 9y ago
  I think the difference in perception, as compared to running a marathon, is that parenting is more an equivalent of entering a marathon where you have no option to stop, regardless of circumstances, and your performance has a massive impact on the life of another person. If that were the way marathons worked, I think the reaction of the audience to someone's struggle to finish the race would be different.
  - monktastic1 9y ago
    > If that were the way marathons worked, I think the reaction of the audience to someone's struggle to finish the race would be different. Indeed, I would expect more support instead of less. "You should have known" may be accurate but it feels unhelpful.
  - scotty79 9y ago
    > ...your performance has a massive impact on the life of another person. Not really. There are bad people who had wonderful parents and great people who had bad parents or no parents at all. Child is separate new fresh human being, getting to human level from the level of vegetable over 18+-3 years. The fact that it got some half of your genes doesn't make you special and if you don't let it die or get malnourished and give it chance at some positive human interaction and variety of fairly safe objects to tamper with it'll be fine and won't be much better off even if you tried you hardest.

monktastic1 9y ago

I don't understand the "no sympathy" part. When a friend runs a marathon, yes, they expected to be totally out of breath and have jellified legs, but I still cheer them on and help them recover and celebrate. I don't think I'd be a very good friend if during the race I were saying (or even thinking) "I have no sympathy for you, what did you expect?" -- even if they're complaining. To me, this seems related to the purpose of the article: being a parent requires a stiff upper lip according to our culture, unlike most everything else in life.

ankjl 9y ago
I think the difference in perception, as compared to running a marathon, is that parenting is more an equivalent of entering a marathon where you have no option to stop, regardless of circumstances, and your performance has a massive impact on the life of another person. If that were the way marathons worked, I think the reaction of the audience to someone's struggle to finish the race would be different.
- monktastic1 9y ago
  > If that were the way marathons worked, I think the reaction of the audience to someone's struggle to finish the race would be different. Indeed, I would expect more support instead of less. "You should have known" may be accurate but it feels unhelpful.
- scotty79 9y ago
  > ...your performance has a massive impact on the life of another person. Not really. There are bad people who had wonderful parents and great people who had bad parents or no parents at all. Child is separate new fresh human being, getting to human level from the level of vegetable over 18+-3 years. The fact that it got some half of your genes doesn't make you special and if you don't let it die or get malnourished and give it chance at some positive human interaction and variety of fairly safe objects to tamper with it'll be fine and won't be much better off even if you tried you hardest.