3 ms·

It's not so simple, because the concept of parenthood is cultural, so a person grows up under a sort of brainwashing. Note that brainwashing is not an attribut

It's not so simple, because the concept of parenthood is cultural, so a person grows up under a sort of brainwashing. Note that brainwashing is not an attribute of the people ("those who like children are brainwashed"), but of the culture, where opposition is rejected. As a matter of fact, people who openly don't like children are (at the very least) frowned upon. I know at least a couple of fathers who clearly "are not children lovers" (to put it mildy), but they had them, and they even think about having more than one. There's no pressure on them, and they're not fools; they just think it's "the way" - in this perspective, it's no different than a religion. Probably, a hypothetical world where the opposite would hold true - people would be brainwashed that children are a burden - would be better placed, since only (more) motivated people would be parents.

saalweachter 9y ago
I wouldn't call the concept of parenthood cultural. There's a pretty substantial biological component.
- monktastic1 9y ago
  Parent comment seems to be referring to concepts such as "it is a burden" or "it is a noble sacrifice."
- jdietrich 9y ago
  It's aggressively reinforced on a cultural level. There's a huge stigma against not having children, let alone advocating that other people should consider following suit. If you've consciously made the decision to not have children, people feel quite free to call you selfish or immature. You're likely to be bombarded by relatives asking "when are you going to have children?" People with children often take your decision as a personal attack on their choice. The top comment on this thread can be surmised as "Having children is hard, but ultimately worthwhile", but the commenter felt the need to use a throwaway account. A lot of people find it easier to lie and say that they're infertile. http://www.readcube.com/articles/10.1007/s11199-016-0606-1?shared_access_token=o5-yjTCSXk2gmjGnHJtq-_e4RwlQNchNByi7wbcMAY6f7ucxWO4RvrMbWtzmxG22tYu1HcZulOE27rEa8ZrIws19coFsI0U8KTc4JHiFZ85O0Zvk2L8M9qN3nBZH-Azs_BLXZRS_b1kDadIYYk6PEy2UJRq8VN9IHTjs23JInPE%3D http://www.readcube.com/articles/10.1007/s11199-016-0606-1?s...
- vigilantpuma 9y ago
  Really? In this comment page alone we have shit like: "Final point, and one that I am cautious to make for not wanting to offend anyone needlessly: I know plenty of singles and couples who are childless, and several that are childless by choice. Suffice it to say that my anecdotal view is that sadness, eccentricity, and empty hedonism seem to develop over time in these couples, especially in the women." "Spot on with the final point. I have 3, now aged 22, 19 & 16. I like to joke that I have parentdar: it's like gaydar, I just know if someone is a parent or not without them telling me. There's a selfcentredness about the childless that gives itself away in a thousand minor tells. It's more pronounced in women than men."

saalweachter 9y ago

I wouldn't call the concept of parenthood cultural. There's a pretty substantial biological component.

monktastic1 9y ago
Parent comment seems to be referring to concepts such as "it is a burden" or "it is a noble sacrifice."
jdietrich 9y ago
It's aggressively reinforced on a cultural level. There's a huge stigma against not having children, let alone advocating that other people should consider following suit. If you've consciously made the decision to not have children, people feel quite free to call you selfish or immature. You're likely to be bombarded by relatives asking "when are you going to have children?" People with children often take your decision as a personal attack on their choice. The top comment on this thread can be surmised as "Having children is hard, but ultimately worthwhile", but the commenter felt the need to use a throwaway account. A lot of people find it easier to lie and say that they're infertile. http://www.readcube.com/articles/10.1007/s11199-016-0606-1?shared_access_token=o5-yjTCSXk2gmjGnHJtq-_e4RwlQNchNByi7wbcMAY6f7ucxWO4RvrMbWtzmxG22tYu1HcZulOE27rEa8ZrIws19coFsI0U8KTc4JHiFZ85O0Zvk2L8M9qN3nBZH-Azs_BLXZRS_b1kDadIYYk6PEy2UJRq8VN9IHTjs23JInPE%3D http://www.readcube.com/articles/10.1007/s11199-016-0606-1?s...
vigilantpuma 9y ago
Really? In this comment page alone we have shit like: "Final point, and one that I am cautious to make for not wanting to offend anyone needlessly: I know plenty of singles and couples who are childless, and several that are childless by choice. Suffice it to say that my anecdotal view is that sadness, eccentricity, and empty hedonism seem to develop over time in these couples, especially in the women." "Spot on with the final point. I have 3, now aged 22, 19 & 16. I like to joke that I have parentdar: it's like gaydar, I just know if someone is a parent or not without them telling me. There's a selfcentredness about the childless that gives itself away in a thousand minor tells. It's more pronounced in women than men."