5 ms·

I am an American living outside the US for ~5 years. It's become very difficult to plan for the future now that I am in a permanent relationship with a non-US c

by 3131s 9y ago

I am an American living outside the US for ~5 years. It's become very difficult to plan for the future now that I am in a permanent relationship with a non-US citizen (we would be married already if not for the various complications associated with being different nationalities). Especially since she is from a so-called "shithole" country, one of the poorest on earth, we have doubts about whether it's even worth ever trying to go back to the US longterm. What if we do everything right, go through the green card process, and then suddenly green cards just no longer exist? That statement might have sounded crazy 10 years ago, but can anybody really assure me otherwise now? I know 10+ people who are educated, hard-working, and have every qualification yet are denied a simple tourist visa to the US for whatever reason. The process is lengthy, costs a decent amount of money, consists of filling out ridiculous forms on antiquated websites and attaining sponsors from the US, and then results in a 5 minute interview where some prick essentially makes a snap judgement about the candidate. We got lucky once with the tourist visa process, but that was pre-Trump. The US is an utter embarrassment, and if it weren't for my family still being there, I wouldn't really care much about never going back.

x0x0 9y ago
Why wouldn't you sponsor her for a K visa? If it's not too personal / I'm curious, where do you live?
- FireBeyond 9y ago
  Apropos of anything else, my arrival in the US from Australia (as a K-1) has cost over the years, at last count, coming up on $25,000...
  - Spoom 9y ago
    Jesus, why? I think my K-1 (originally from Canada) cost something like $5,000, maybe $6,000 total. I guess plane fares and hotels might play into it, since I can cross by land.
cageface 9y ago
Since 9/11 the US is like a bull in a china shop, stung by a bee. I only go back once a year to visit my family now too.
brynx97 9y ago
You should talk with your local US embassy or consulate. They can provide whatever help to clear up the process for your partner. If they are doing their job, they can greatly simplify everything. Please do not confuse the local state dept people with the shenanigans from the people at the White House... The visa process is relative straightforward. Will the person who is given the visa come back to the country of origin? This is determined by money more often than not, and it's the harsh reality of the situation.
tumblen 9y ago
I went through this process in 2015-2016 after my fiancee was turned away while we were entering the US in PHL (they said she had already spent too much time with me there). We went back to Spain where she's from and started the 4+ month long process of getting her a K-1 fiancee visa. It is a lot of reading, a lot of forms, and nerve-wracking interviews so I understand where you're coming from. But now she has a green card and it's a huge weight off our chests, great to be able to live a normal life. No one is coming for legal permanent residents, especially by marriage. Almost everyone we interacted with along the way (except for the border control at PHL) was pretty friendly and just doing their job. No one seemed to have an axe to grind against immigrants. The best resource I found was VisaJourney which has guides, timelines, useful forums, crowd-sourced processing times, etc. I'm sure you'll find other users there from your partner's country so you can get a feel for what the process is like from a relevant perspective. Here is the process/timeline for a fiancee visa: http://www.visajourney.com/content/k1flow http://www.visajourney.com/content/k1flow Happy to help if you have any questions
- CWuestefeld 9y ago
  The immigration system is horribly broken. My wife, too, is an immigrant, and our experience is vastly different from yours. For example, they scheduled her for an interview on a date that was impossible for her to make (iirc, that was her first day of a new job). She went to the INS offices to ask to have it rescheduled, and the person at the desk just gave her a flat "no, we do not reschedule interviews". My wife asked to speak to a manager - something that's eminently reasonable, if maybe slightly annoying, at any business - at which point the INS employee bushed a button that summoned to burly guards to physically remove her from the premises, stating that she was a threat to the office's security.
  - debaserab2 9y ago
    Wouldn’t an immigration interview trump any other reaponsibility a person has? I’d explain to my boss the situation and see if I can get my day switched way before I’d expect any government agency to shuffle things around for my work schedule (especially any agency that’s immigration related).
nfriedly 9y ago
I have a friend who's a US citizen who was living in Venezuela for a while, and he got married to a Venezuelan gal there about 5 years ago. They'd been working on moving back to/to the US for most of that 5 years and finally got here about 2-3 months ago. I believe that both the US and Venezuelan governments gave them a bit of run-around, but it did all work out eventually.
blunte 9y ago
Similar situation here, although I'm in country #2 (if you know the political-comedy reference). The US has many natural wonders, and it has a lot of quite good people. But the political system is so out of whack that it makes me want to stay away for a very long time. Furthermore, having to deal with US taxes while living and working abroad is really a hassle. True, one doesn't typically owe any US tax money if paying a higher rate elsewhere, but filing is still required. And filing can be messy if your life is not the standard simple permanent employment situation.

by 3131s 9y ago

x0x0 9y ago

Why wouldn't you sponsor her for a K visa? If it's not too personal / I'm curious, where do you live?

FireBeyond 9y ago
Apropos of anything else, my arrival in the US from Australia (as a K-1) has cost over the years, at last count, coming up on $25,000...
- Spoom 9y ago
  Jesus, why? I think my K-1 (originally from Canada) cost something like $5,000, maybe $6,000 total. I guess plane fares and hotels might play into it, since I can cross by land.

cageface 9y ago

Since 9/11 the US is like a bull in a china shop, stung by a bee. I only go back once a year to visit my family now too.

brynx97 9y ago

You should talk with your local US embassy or consulate. They can provide whatever help to clear up the process for your partner. If they are doing their job, they can greatly simplify everything. Please do not confuse the local state dept people with the shenanigans from the people at the White House... The visa process is relative straightforward. Will the person who is given the visa come back to the country of origin? This is determined by money more often than not, and it's the harsh reality of the situation.

tumblen 9y ago

I went through this process in 2015-2016 after my fiancee was turned away while we were entering the US in PHL (they said she had already spent too much time with me there). We went back to Spain where she's from and started the 4+ month long process of getting her a K-1 fiancee visa. It is a lot of reading, a lot of forms, and nerve-wracking interviews so I understand where you're coming from. But now she has a green card and it's a huge weight off our chests, great to be able to live a normal life. No one is coming for legal permanent residents, especially by marriage. Almost everyone we interacted with along the way (except for the border control at PHL) was pretty friendly and just doing their job. No one seemed to have an axe to grind against immigrants. The best resource I found was VisaJourney which has guides, timelines, useful forums, crowd-sourced processing times, etc. I'm sure you'll find other users there from your partner's country so you can get a feel for what the process is like from a relevant perspective. Here is the process/timeline for a fiancee visa: http://www.visajourney.com/content/k1flow http://www.visajourney.com/content/k1flow Happy to help if you have any questions

CWuestefeld 9y ago
The immigration system is horribly broken. My wife, too, is an immigrant, and our experience is vastly different from yours. For example, they scheduled her for an interview on a date that was impossible for her to make (iirc, that was her first day of a new job). She went to the INS offices to ask to have it rescheduled, and the person at the desk just gave her a flat "no, we do not reschedule interviews". My wife asked to speak to a manager - something that's eminently reasonable, if maybe slightly annoying, at any business - at which point the INS employee bushed a button that summoned to burly guards to physically remove her from the premises, stating that she was a threat to the office's security.
- debaserab2 9y ago
  Wouldn’t an immigration interview trump any other reaponsibility a person has? I’d explain to my boss the situation and see if I can get my day switched way before I’d expect any government agency to shuffle things around for my work schedule (especially any agency that’s immigration related).

nfriedly 9y ago

I have a friend who's a US citizen who was living in Venezuela for a while, and he got married to a Venezuelan gal there about 5 years ago. They'd been working on moving back to/to the US for most of that 5 years and finally got here about 2-3 months ago. I believe that both the US and Venezuelan governments gave them a bit of run-around, but it did all work out eventually.

blunte 9y ago

Similar situation here, although I'm in country #2 (if you know the political-comedy reference). The US has many natural wonders, and it has a lot of quite good people. But the political system is so out of whack that it makes me want to stay away for a very long time. Furthermore, having to deal with US taxes while living and working abroad is really a hassle. True, one doesn't typically owe any US tax money if paying a higher rate elsewhere, but filing is still required. And filing can be messy if your life is not the standard simple permanent employment situation.