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I think there are some characteristics that will induce koi no yokan: - jishin ((quiet?) confidence) - ii kanji (feeling of good) - yasashii kanji (feeling o

by csa 9y ago

I think there are some characteristics that will induce koi no yokan: - jishin ((quiet?) confidence) - ii kanji (feeling of good) - yasashii kanji (feeling of gentleness -- maybe something like "has empathy") - atama ga ii (smart). This is only popular in certain circles and is more typically valued by women in men than the other way) -- most Japanese men seem. It to want their wives to be smarter than they are (although a small portion do). - a few more? I just want to express how difficult it was to write the above. I started in English, but then realized that it was only accurate if I used Japanese. The translations are rough, and they are things that strike me as fairly easy to understand in a Japanese context for me, but less so in an English/US context -- maybe due to a wider range of values held in the latter. On a personal level, a woman I dated when I was younger when I lived in Japan had koi no yokan for me. I regret not marrying her -- she knew us better than I did. I would love to hear other people's additions and opinions on this matter.

realitygrill 9y ago
Do you think these factors commonly affect both men and women? Or that these are more valued in Japan? This list is appealing to me, but it does seem to be describing something like the best possible characteristics in introverts. I would be interested to hear what the other factors are.
- csa 9y ago
  I'm not sure I understand your question (factors for what?), but I will make some comments that might answer your question. - Yes, koi no yokan can affect both men and women, but I think it's more common to be identified as such with women feeling it towards men. My personal take is that men with marriage options tend to be more pragmatic when choosing a spouse versus being romantic. That said, I have heard a wider variety of voices from Japanese men than Japanese women (I am a man, so hearing honne/straight talk more frequently from other men is to be expected). - I don't know if these values are more valued in Japan, but they are definitely more trusted by Japanese women. I've seen women dial in on guys with remarkably little information, and their intuition was completely correct. In general, the higher the psychological health of the woman experiencing koi no yokan, the more accurate the prediction. In contrast, I see women second guess themselves all the time in the US for what amounts to reasons that seem very frivolous or non-consequential. - I don't think any of the characteristics I have listed are mainly or or exclusively the domain of introverts. Maybe I didn't understand your comment/question. - As far as other factors go, I think I listed the main ones that I have heard. There may also be a more pragmatic side of things like "he will be a good provider" (remember that Japanese wives typically control the family finances) or "he comes from a good family" (i.e., probably a wealthy and/or powerful family that would facilitate social climbing). Note that these would probably be applied more to Japanese men than foreign men unless the foreigner is committed to living a Japanese lifestyle (this is actually quite rare and quite difficult to do -- 'patio11 has done this except his job is atypical for a Japanese person). Let me know if you have more questions. I used to know a lot more about this topic, but my interests have moved towards more pragmatic (although perhaps less interesting) topics than the psychology of love.
jhanschoo 9y ago
There are words that better express the nuances of the Japanese terms: Jishin–(self-assured-ness) ii kanji–(feels right) yasashii kanji–(nice to someone) atama ga ii–(smart)
- csa 9y ago
  I humbly suggest that your translations of the "kanji" terms do not to justice to the potential range and scope of their meanings. Jishin also has a range of interpretations that may not be identical for those in non-Japanese contexts.

by csa 9y ago

realitygrill 9y ago

Do you think these factors commonly affect both men and women? Or that these are more valued in Japan? This list is appealing to me, but it does seem to be describing something like the best possible characteristics in introverts. I would be interested to hear what the other factors are.

csa 9y ago
I'm not sure I understand your question (factors for what?), but I will make some comments that might answer your question. - Yes, koi no yokan can affect both men and women, but I think it's more common to be identified as such with women feeling it towards men. My personal take is that men with marriage options tend to be more pragmatic when choosing a spouse versus being romantic. That said, I have heard a wider variety of voices from Japanese men than Japanese women (I am a man, so hearing honne/straight talk more frequently from other men is to be expected). - I don't know if these values are more valued in Japan, but they are definitely more trusted by Japanese women. I've seen women dial in on guys with remarkably little information, and their intuition was completely correct. In general, the higher the psychological health of the woman experiencing koi no yokan, the more accurate the prediction. In contrast, I see women second guess themselves all the time in the US for what amounts to reasons that seem very frivolous or non-consequential. - I don't think any of the characteristics I have listed are mainly or or exclusively the domain of introverts. Maybe I didn't understand your comment/question. - As far as other factors go, I think I listed the main ones that I have heard. There may also be a more pragmatic side of things like "he will be a good provider" (remember that Japanese wives typically control the family finances) or "he comes from a good family" (i.e., probably a wealthy and/or powerful family that would facilitate social climbing). Note that these would probably be applied more to Japanese men than foreign men unless the foreigner is committed to living a Japanese lifestyle (this is actually quite rare and quite difficult to do -- 'patio11 has done this except his job is atypical for a Japanese person). Let me know if you have more questions. I used to know a lot more about this topic, but my interests have moved towards more pragmatic (although perhaps less interesting) topics than the psychology of love.

jhanschoo 9y ago

There are words that better express the nuances of the Japanese terms: Jishin–(self-assured-ness) ii kanji–(feels right) yasashii kanji–(nice to someone) atama ga ii–(smart)

csa 9y ago
I humbly suggest that your translations of the "kanji" terms do not to justice to the potential range and scope of their meanings. Jishin also has a range of interpretations that may not be identical for those in non-Japanese contexts.