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From one of the comments (author, Nathan Spears): > People with Asperger’s can navigate social situations remarkably well after they learn “the rules” of socia
by katzgrau 9y ago
From one of the comments (author, Nathan Spears):
> People with Asperger’s can navigate social situations remarkably well after they learn “the rules” of social interaction.
That's my experience. I too, was socially awkward kid who taught himself basic programming by reading computer manuals around the age of 10. I constantly got picked on though out elementary and middle school. In high school it got a little better because I started to imitate social behavior and personal style that I picked up in other (cooler) people, mainly as a survival strategy. Spend more than 5 minutes talking to me though, and you'd be looking for a way to mosey out of the conversation.
I went into software development where I felt that I'd truly found my breed. Then I started a software (product) company where suddenly I had to attract customers and pitch them my product in demos.
I will say this: forcing myself to learn sales was monumental both professionally and socially. I am now pretty smooth in nearly any social interaction and even when things don't go perfectly, I keep a general "fuck it" attitude in my back pocket (which is quite handy for avoiding that paralyzing over-analysis following a misstep).
The point is this: if you think you're somewhere on the subclinical spectrum, don't just give yourself that label and wait for the world to come around to you, or avoid doing the things that you don't think you're suited for. Do things that make you uncomfortable. Grow and improve on every front. As an aspie, you're probably pretty damned good at actively learning the traits that seem to come naturally for other people.
- klipt 9y ago> As an aspie, you're probably pretty damned good at actively learning the traits that seem to come naturally for other people. Makes me wonder how much of "neuro-diversity" is actually just "neuro-plasticity". Maybe many aspies are actually just "neuro-typicals" who were bullied and lost faith in social interactions, and thus spent much of their early life on geeky interests instead, developing better technical skills but neglecting social skills. But as they get older many realize that social skills are important and pick them up anyway, just a little later than most.
- digi_owl 9y agoNot likely. Aspergers is not about a disinterest in social interaction, it is a "blindness" to the unspoken "rules" of social interaction. Most kids will given just a bit of time pick up the indications in body language etc that means one has hogged the ball and should pass it around. And aspie will not, at least not in the instinctual way that most humans do.
- eropple 9y agoI got the feeling that he meant the self-diagnosed types?
- deleted 9y ago[deleted]
- smsm42 9y agoNo, it's not just lost faith. It's about as true as saying somebody that can't run a mile under 5 mins or bench press 300+ pounds just "lost their faith in running and bench pressing" and that's the only reason ever. Some things are just hard for some people. Or impossible. Some of them can be improved with training and practice, but not instantly and with a lot of effort. Some will forever take much more effort than for other people and leave one exhausted. Some may be just plain impossible. Some may be possible, but people may decide, rightly or wrongly, that they are so hard that the effort is just not worth it.
- auxym 9y agoI took a quick look at the ASQ test mentioned in the article [1]. A lot of the things in there, I would have answered "definitely agree" when I was a teenager. Sometime in college, I forced myself to socialize, and did everything I could to learn what I needed to fit in. For example, I learned from the internet to dress and care for myself so I didn't look like a 17 year basement nerd, and a bunch of other things I guess most people just pick up naturally by being around other people in high school. Today, edging towards my 30s, looking at the questions on that test makes me feel surprised at how "well adjusted" I've become compared to how I was at 15 years old. [1] https://psychology-tools.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/ https://psychology-tools.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/
- quotemstr 9y agoMany ill-adjusted young people become perfectly functional adults. That's why it's incredibly dangerous to make drastic and irreversible childhood interventions in response to indications that are most likely transient and self-resolving. Our society is insane.
- Consultant32452 9y agoYour score was 34 out of a possible 50. Scores in the 33-50 range indicate significant Austistic traits (Autism).
- justherefortart 9y agoSweet, I got 34 as well. I'm going to sub that for my ACT score now :-)
- QML 9y agoIsn't there bias with self-diagnosing yourself though?
- justherefortart 9y agoOf course, but you try to answer the questions honestly. I took it as did my wife. I expected that I wouldn't score that high. She got a 17.