4 ms·

In the past I've lived sort of like this and found it quite lonely and alienating. What the article doesn't mention is that nobody really wants to hang out with

by rdouble 16y ago

In the past I've lived sort of like this and found it quite lonely and alienating. What the article doesn't mention is that nobody really wants to hang out with the weird guy with no stuff and no apartment. If you're single, only really strange and desperate people want to date you. I also found that the act of finding another place to stay quickly became tedious. In the past, nomads were out being nomadic with the rest of their huge nomadic tribe. They weren't just bouncing around settled society with a laptop by themselves.

lzw 16y ago
Everybody wants to hang out with a traveller. They all have questions. People who would never dream of doing what we do, are happy to tell us their dreams about doing what we do, believe it or not. Everyone seems to find the idea romantic even if they could never do it. Back when I was traveling by myself I found it easier to meet women on the road than at home. I guess maybe you would think these women were "really strange and desperate" because many of them were also solo travelers. I do like the term "settled society", as there is a strong temptation to see people who don't do this as having settled for something adequate. Travelling only changes your location, it doesn't change who you are. Who I am is someone who has trouble meeting people, but found that travel provided more opportunity for social interaction and people more willing to be open with me.
- rdouble 16y ago
  People do want to hang out with a traveller - for an evening. There's also a difference between being a "traveller" and just being a guy with no home and no stuff. The article seemed to be more about the latter.
  - lzw 16y ago
    The difference is all between the ears. A positive attitude and open mind go a long way.
    - hugh3 16y ago
      Not really. It sounds like this guy is staying in one city and sleeping on his friends' couches. That's not travelling, it's mooching.
      - kragen 16y ago
        It could be. But what if he cooks, cleans, fixes household appliances, teaches them to juggle, removes viruses from their computers, and gives them spectacular prints of photographs he took?
        dkarl 16y ago
        You don't just pay a plumber to fix your pipes; you pay him to leave afterwards.
        Tyrannosaurs 16y ago
        And to take those f*ing juggling clubs with him...
  - kragen 16y ago
    I think lots of my friends would be happy to have me stay with them for a week or so, and on CouchSurfing you can find lots of strangers who have that same preference. My experience hanging out with backpackers is that they seem to get laid (by other backpackers) rather frequently. Of course, the ones who are traveling with committed partners have a lot more sex (with each other, mostly) than the ones who are just hoping to meet random promiscuous MOTAS. But there's a lot of scope for people to travel together for a few days, weeks, or months before becoming committed partners. And sometimes travelers will stay in a city for weeks or months and meet more people. I think it depends largely on how easily you make friends.
  - rdl 16y ago
    Specifically, it is hard to develop meaningful long term romantic/sexual relationships if you are transient. Women especially seem to value stability and investment in a community, even beyond the purely logistical issues. This isn't much of an impediment to spending a year or two in this lifestyle, but after doing this for basically my entire adult life (since 1997 and leaving MIT), there are decided sacrifices.
maryrosecook 16y ago
People who travel have interesting stories from their travels. They have a broad outlook and set of morals, because they have met people from diverse groups. They are social because they have had to be outgoing to make friends. They can form long term friendships because they return to places. They are romantically successful because they are appealing and meet a lot of people. There is nothing inherent in being a traveler that makes them "weird", though they may be unusual because of their unusual life. I can't see why either having or not having stuff is relevant. Travelers make great friends who I miss when they are not around.
- hugh3 16y ago
  People who travel have interesting stories from their travels. I hate to sound negative, but I find that some of the worst bores are people who can't stop talking about their last journey. Having been around the world a few times myself, I often have to bite my tongue to stop myself from telling too many "that reminds me of this one time in [random city X]" stories, as people do get bored of hearing them, and they're rarely as interesting to others as they are to the people who were there.
  - BrandonM 16y ago
    That's really a shame. I have a couple really good friends with whom sharing experiences is one of the most important parts of our relationship. It took some practice at first, but focusing completely on the person telling the story[1], and actually telling meaningful stories[2] turns out to not be that hard once you get the hang of it. [1] This means not only listening and popping in with comments and questions here and there, but actually trying to imagine the feelings you would have experienced had you been there; or even more interestingly, understanding how the storyteller felt in the context of his or her own life (this requires knowing the person rather well). [2] The intent is really the main thing here. Some people approach storytelling about their adventures as a way to brag. The "right way" to do it is to tell the story in a way that the listeners can imagine themselves there. This changes the context from "I'm cooler than you," to "I had a great experience that I'd like to share with you."
rapind 16y ago
How long did you try it for. In my experience it can take a little while to adapt. Just like you got homesick that first time at sleepaway camp as a kid. I did a decent amount of backpacking back in the day, and I remember the initial adjustment to be pretty tough and very lonely if you're not already a very outgoing type. Initially I hated it, then eventually I loved it, but some may not.
sedachv 16y ago
"If you're single, only really strange and desperate people want to date you." Listen and weep: http://brandonovak.com/nudie-novaks-sexcapades http://brandonovak.com/nudie-novaks-sexcapades "When he was a homeless heroin addict, Brandon banged a waitress INSIDE OF A DUMPSTER."

by rdouble 16y ago

lzw 16y ago

Everybody wants to hang out with a traveller. They all have questions. People who would never dream of doing what we do, are happy to tell us their dreams about doing what we do, believe it or not. Everyone seems to find the idea romantic even if they could never do it. Back when I was traveling by myself I found it easier to meet women on the road than at home. I guess maybe you would think these women were "really strange and desperate" because many of them were also solo travelers. I do like the term "settled society", as there is a strong temptation to see people who don't do this as having settled for something adequate. Travelling only changes your location, it doesn't change who you are. Who I am is someone who has trouble meeting people, but found that travel provided more opportunity for social interaction and people more willing to be open with me.

rdouble 16y ago
People do want to hang out with a traveller - for an evening. There's also a difference between being a "traveller" and just being a guy with no home and no stuff. The article seemed to be more about the latter.
- lzw 16y ago
  The difference is all between the ears. A positive attitude and open mind go a long way.
  - hugh3 16y ago
    Not really. It sounds like this guy is staying in one city and sleeping on his friends' couches. That's not travelling, it's mooching.
    - kragen 16y ago
      It could be. But what if he cooks, cleans, fixes household appliances, teaches them to juggle, removes viruses from their computers, and gives them spectacular prints of photographs he took?
      - dkarl 16y ago
        You don't just pay a plumber to fix your pipes; you pay him to leave afterwards.
        Tyrannosaurs 16y ago
        And to take those f*ing juggling clubs with him...
- kragen 16y ago
  I think lots of my friends would be happy to have me stay with them for a week or so, and on CouchSurfing you can find lots of strangers who have that same preference. My experience hanging out with backpackers is that they seem to get laid (by other backpackers) rather frequently. Of course, the ones who are traveling with committed partners have a lot more sex (with each other, mostly) than the ones who are just hoping to meet random promiscuous MOTAS. But there's a lot of scope for people to travel together for a few days, weeks, or months before becoming committed partners. And sometimes travelers will stay in a city for weeks or months and meet more people. I think it depends largely on how easily you make friends.
- rdl 16y ago
  Specifically, it is hard to develop meaningful long term romantic/sexual relationships if you are transient. Women especially seem to value stability and investment in a community, even beyond the purely logistical issues. This isn't much of an impediment to spending a year or two in this lifestyle, but after doing this for basically my entire adult life (since 1997 and leaving MIT), there are decided sacrifices.

maryrosecook 16y ago

People who travel have interesting stories from their travels. They have a broad outlook and set of morals, because they have met people from diverse groups. They are social because they have had to be outgoing to make friends. They can form long term friendships because they return to places. They are romantically successful because they are appealing and meet a lot of people. There is nothing inherent in being a traveler that makes them "weird", though they may be unusual because of their unusual life. I can't see why either having or not having stuff is relevant. Travelers make great friends who I miss when they are not around.

hugh3 16y ago
People who travel have interesting stories from their travels. I hate to sound negative, but I find that some of the worst bores are people who can't stop talking about their last journey. Having been around the world a few times myself, I often have to bite my tongue to stop myself from telling too many "that reminds me of this one time in [random city X]" stories, as people do get bored of hearing them, and they're rarely as interesting to others as they are to the people who were there.
- BrandonM 16y ago
  That's really a shame. I have a couple really good friends with whom sharing experiences is one of the most important parts of our relationship. It took some practice at first, but focusing completely on the person telling the story[1], and actually telling meaningful stories[2] turns out to not be that hard once you get the hang of it. [1] This means not only listening and popping in with comments and questions here and there, but actually trying to imagine the feelings you would have experienced had you been there; or even more interestingly, understanding how the storyteller felt in the context of his or her own life (this requires knowing the person rather well). [2] The intent is really the main thing here. Some people approach storytelling about their adventures as a way to brag. The "right way" to do it is to tell the story in a way that the listeners can imagine themselves there. This changes the context from "I'm cooler than you," to "I had a great experience that I'd like to share with you."

rapind 16y ago

How long did you try it for. In my experience it can take a little while to adapt. Just like you got homesick that first time at sleepaway camp as a kid. I did a decent amount of backpacking back in the day, and I remember the initial adjustment to be pretty tough and very lonely if you're not already a very outgoing type. Initially I hated it, then eventually I loved it, but some may not.

sedachv 16y ago

"If you're single, only really strange and desperate people want to date you." Listen and weep: http://brandonovak.com/nudie-novaks-sexcapades http://brandonovak.com/nudie-novaks-sexcapades "When he was a homeless heroin addict, Brandon banged a waitress INSIDE OF A DUMPSTER."