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There is a (painful, annoying and unfair) way around this. Actively socialize a lot with people in your neighborhood. Including the old lady next door, local c

There is a (painful, annoying and unfair) way around this. Actively socialize a lot with people in your neighborhood. Including the old lady next door, local cops, teachers and shop owners. And once you know 50 persons around by name and they have your phone number, tell them one by one that you intend to let your child going out more and more out by him/herself to learn autonomy. Ask them to not worry, but to keep an eye open: they will feel important, think you are a wonderful parent and your kids will have 50 people to help them in case of a problem. In my experience, if you befriend on average one person a week, you get there after one year. Manichean but works wonder. Learned the trick while working in Africa. It actually works for many other things: finding a job, getting help to do stuff, getting laid... You usually make real friends on the way, not a bad side effect. Even in those facebook times, one-to-one human relationship are still ruling everything we do, and living in a community is one of the most rewarding skill to sharpen. But yeah, we are not in a movie, it's a lot of work. The maintenance part is really time and energy consuming, as not everybody is interesting and worth it.

alexanat 9y ago
This is a wonderful idea. You mention Facebook - I think FB could be leveraged here as well.. perhaps a neighborhood group.
- sametmax 9y ago
  That's not going to work. Trust and desire to help cannot being batch processed. Well... It can but you need strong leader qualities that few people have. But you can mix both approaches; You can do one-on-one to create / maintain the relationship, and utilize social networks to organize the community. But if you want your local baker to go out of his way to get your child out of trouble, you need to look him in the eyes when you ask for it. And you need to do that for each person you recruit. There is no way around it.
- carapace 9y ago
  This is describing normal life before, say, seventy years ago.
  - sametmax 9y ago
    Exactly. But you can't tell introvert geeks that. You need to present it like a life hack. I know, because I used to be an introvert geek because Mali kicked my ass.
gowld 9y ago
You mean, integrating your children into society makes them safe when they spend time out in society?
- whatshisface 9y ago
  His story sounds like it's more about integrating society with the idea of children.
toyg 9y ago
That would be easy if this were a mediterranean town, rather than northern suburbia. I do know my immediate neighbours, but going knocking farther away would look extremely weird, and possibly considered unwelcome in this brexit age. There are no shops immediately close (a big and very convenient supermarket made sure of that). I do appreciate the method, I just find hard to believe that it can be put in practice in realities like mine.
- sametmax 9y ago
  It's harder in your case, so it will take more time. 2 to 3 years maybe. To find out where to start, ask yourself where your children are more likely to get caught alone and reported to CPS. It will also require you go to clubs (sport club, book club), events (garage sell, protests, etc) or even to put them in motion. Eventually, some thing that works very well is talking to people waiting with you. In queues, waiting rooms, at traffic lights or even traffic jams. It's awkward/annoying as hell when you do it wrong, but after a big of practice it's really a great source of networking.

alexanat 9y ago

This is a wonderful idea. You mention Facebook - I think FB could be leveraged here as well.. perhaps a neighborhood group.

sametmax 9y ago
That's not going to work. Trust and desire to help cannot being batch processed. Well... It can but you need strong leader qualities that few people have. But you can mix both approaches; You can do one-on-one to create / maintain the relationship, and utilize social networks to organize the community. But if you want your local baker to go out of his way to get your child out of trouble, you need to look him in the eyes when you ask for it. And you need to do that for each person you recruit. There is no way around it.
carapace 9y ago
This is describing normal life before, say, seventy years ago.
- sametmax 9y ago
  Exactly. But you can't tell introvert geeks that. You need to present it like a life hack. I know, because I used to be an introvert geek because Mali kicked my ass.

gowld 9y ago

You mean, integrating your children into society makes them safe when they spend time out in society?

whatshisface 9y ago
His story sounds like it's more about integrating society with the idea of children.

toyg 9y ago

That would be easy if this were a mediterranean town, rather than northern suburbia. I do know my immediate neighbours, but going knocking farther away would look extremely weird, and possibly considered unwelcome in this brexit age. There are no shops immediately close (a big and very convenient supermarket made sure of that). I do appreciate the method, I just find hard to believe that it can be put in practice in realities like mine.

sametmax 9y ago
It's harder in your case, so it will take more time. 2 to 3 years maybe. To find out where to start, ask yourself where your children are more likely to get caught alone and reported to CPS. It will also require you go to clubs (sport club, book club), events (garage sell, protests, etc) or even to put them in motion. Eventually, some thing that works very well is talking to people waiting with you. In queues, waiting rooms, at traffic lights or even traffic jams. It's awkward/annoying as hell when you do it wrong, but after a big of practice it's really a great source of networking.