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My parents let me walk to the corner store alone when I was 5. By the time I was 8, I'd be gone all day doing who knows what; the big rule was to be home for di

by AmVess 9y ago

My parents let me walk to the corner store alone when I was 5. By the time I was 8, I'd be gone all day doing who knows what; the big rule was to be home for dinner. Allowing your kids to roam around like that these days will get CPS called on you.

toyg 9y ago
That’s the thing: I’m very tempted to let my kids roam the neighborhood, like I did in Italy in the 80s. Where we live now, streets are pretty tight and have speed bumps, so it’s fairly safe. But if anybody gets nosey and calls child protection, I’m in a world of hurt from which I’ll probably never emerge. Yet another bit of the world ruined by Sun and Daily Mail.
- Analemma_ 9y ago
  > But if anybody gets nosey and calls child protection, I’m in a world of hurt from which I’ll probably never emerge. I think this is a really overblown fear. Yeah, everyone "totally heard about someone" who had CPS called on them because they let their kid roam around, but I think this is mostly an urban legend about as likely as a terrorist attack. CPS usually has way more on their plate than they can handle with actual issues, I don't think they give a damn about free-range children.
  - abritinthebay 9y ago
    It happened to a friend of mine - twice even. However, and I think this is the important thing, CPS totally didn’t care after a quick 15min interview. The second time they even apologized and said they were mostly showing up because they had to. It was the same local busy-body calling them both times btw.
  - naasking 9y ago
    > CPS usually has way more on their plate than they can handle with actual issues Except they are required by law to follow-up on all reports. So you will be interviewed and inconvenienced at the very least.
- sametmax 9y ago
  There is a (painful, annoying and unfair) way around this. Actively socialize a lot with people in your neighborhood. Including the old lady next door, local cops, teachers and shop owners. And once you know 50 persons around by name and they have your phone number, tell them one by one that you intend to let your child going out more and more out by him/herself to learn autonomy. Ask them to not worry, but to keep an eye open: they will feel important, think you are a wonderful parent and your kids will have 50 people to help them in case of a problem. In my experience, if you befriend on average one person a week, you get there after one year. Manichean but works wonder. Learned the trick while working in Africa. It actually works for many other things: finding a job, getting help to do stuff, getting laid... You usually make real friends on the way, not a bad side effect. Even in those facebook times, one-to-one human relationship are still ruling everything we do, and living in a community is one of the most rewarding skill to sharpen. But yeah, we are not in a movie, it's a lot of work. The maintenance part is really time and energy consuming, as not everybody is interesting and worth it.
  - alexanat 9y ago
    This is a wonderful idea. You mention Facebook - I think FB could be leveraged here as well.. perhaps a neighborhood group.
    - sametmax 9y ago
      That's not going to work. Trust and desire to help cannot being batch processed. Well... It can but you need strong leader qualities that few people have. But you can mix both approaches; You can do one-on-one to create / maintain the relationship, and utilize social networks to organize the community. But if you want your local baker to go out of his way to get your child out of trouble, you need to look him in the eyes when you ask for it. And you need to do that for each person you recruit. There is no way around it.
    - carapace 9y ago
      This is describing normal life before, say, seventy years ago.
conductr 9y ago
Same, my mom would regularly write a note asking the clerk to sell me cigarettes (for her). It worked. I can't even imagine how that would play out in current times.
- astura 9y ago
  I remember being 10 or so and my dad giving me money to ride my bike to the hardware store to buy him propane. Of course, I didn't even know what propane was so he said "just ask the clerk," who of course, had no problem helping me.

by AmVess 9y ago

toyg 9y ago

That’s the thing: I’m very tempted to let my kids roam the neighborhood, like I did in Italy in the 80s. Where we live now, streets are pretty tight and have speed bumps, so it’s fairly safe. But if anybody gets nosey and calls child protection, I’m in a world of hurt from which I’ll probably never emerge. Yet another bit of the world ruined by Sun and Daily Mail.

Analemma_ 9y ago
> But if anybody gets nosey and calls child protection, I’m in a world of hurt from which I’ll probably never emerge. I think this is a really overblown fear. Yeah, everyone "totally heard about someone" who had CPS called on them because they let their kid roam around, but I think this is mostly an urban legend about as likely as a terrorist attack. CPS usually has way more on their plate than they can handle with actual issues, I don't think they give a damn about free-range children.
- abritinthebay 9y ago
  It happened to a friend of mine - twice even. However, and I think this is the important thing, CPS totally didn’t care after a quick 15min interview. The second time they even apologized and said they were mostly showing up because they had to. It was the same local busy-body calling them both times btw.
- naasking 9y ago
  > CPS usually has way more on their plate than they can handle with actual issues Except they are required by law to follow-up on all reports. So you will be interviewed and inconvenienced at the very least.
sametmax 9y ago
There is a (painful, annoying and unfair) way around this. Actively socialize a lot with people in your neighborhood. Including the old lady next door, local cops, teachers and shop owners. And once you know 50 persons around by name and they have your phone number, tell them one by one that you intend to let your child going out more and more out by him/herself to learn autonomy. Ask them to not worry, but to keep an eye open: they will feel important, think you are a wonderful parent and your kids will have 50 people to help them in case of a problem. In my experience, if you befriend on average one person a week, you get there after one year. Manichean but works wonder. Learned the trick while working in Africa. It actually works for many other things: finding a job, getting help to do stuff, getting laid... You usually make real friends on the way, not a bad side effect. Even in those facebook times, one-to-one human relationship are still ruling everything we do, and living in a community is one of the most rewarding skill to sharpen. But yeah, we are not in a movie, it's a lot of work. The maintenance part is really time and energy consuming, as not everybody is interesting and worth it.
- alexanat 9y ago
  This is a wonderful idea. You mention Facebook - I think FB could be leveraged here as well.. perhaps a neighborhood group.
  - sametmax 9y ago
    That's not going to work. Trust and desire to help cannot being batch processed. Well... It can but you need strong leader qualities that few people have. But you can mix both approaches; You can do one-on-one to create / maintain the relationship, and utilize social networks to organize the community. But if you want your local baker to go out of his way to get your child out of trouble, you need to look him in the eyes when you ask for it. And you need to do that for each person you recruit. There is no way around it.
  - carapace 9y ago
    This is describing normal life before, say, seventy years ago.

conductr 9y ago

Same, my mom would regularly write a note asking the clerk to sell me cigarettes (for her). It worked. I can't even imagine how that would play out in current times.

astura 9y ago
I remember being 10 or so and my dad giving me money to ride my bike to the hardware store to buy him propane. Of course, I didn't even know what propane was so he said "just ask the clerk," who of course, had no problem helping me.