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The original post was about empathy not "being generous". I was raised in a very religious family and in my experience most religious people are not empathic

by raducu 9y ago

The original post was about empathy not "being generous". I was raised in a very religious family and in my experience most religious people are not empathic at all. Yes, there are exceptions, especially amongst the more mystical types, but most religious people are "generous" because they are trying to score points for the afterlife. It's fascinating to see how people act in church (where they feel God is watching) versus how they treat eachother the rest of the week.

spiderfarmer 9y ago
Exactly. Generously donating to a charity (or worst case: an anti-abortion fund) has nothing to do with empathy. Even in church I have heard people say the most insensitive things about less fortunate people (sure, she was raped by this violent rapist, but she wants an abortion, tssk!). The most empathic, loving and caring people I know aren't in church.
pwinnski 9y ago
Could I not restate your comment as "Ignore the measurable stats, my anecdotal experience suggests a lack of empathy?" In my experience, those who are most empathetic are generous in spirit, which would include not necessarily revealing to you that they are very religious, as well as in generosity toward those in need.
- tinymollusk 9y ago
  The comparison is valid only if monetary generosity is linked with empathy. It seems as unproven a statement as saying monetary giving frees people from the dirtier emotional work of empathizing. Societally, not sure it matters much. OTOH, I think it's probably more fair to compare church giving relative to the tax breaks they receive, rather than simply say they give a lot. They do, but it's amplified by a tax deduction, which isn't available to emotionally supporting/empathetic people. There is, of course, no reason someone couldn't be in both camps, but this comment is long and rambling already.
  - prepend 9y ago
    This is interesting. How would you quantify empathy? It’s pretty hard to compare. Perhaps donations isn’t the right measure. What is more accurate?
    - tinymollusk 9y ago
      I'm not sure I have a solution for quantifying. Even defining "empathetic acts" is something I struggle with. To me, the crux is whether someone puts themselves in the shoes of a less fortunate person. You can do this without helping, just like you can help without doing this. Anecdotally, the homeless people I've spent time talking to seem to appreciate the conversation (or maybe being treated as a human being?) as much or more than the dollar or two I frequently give. Utilitarianism might suggest donations as a decent proxy. Can't say I disagree, although I'd like to know how generous churches can be if they didn't receive a tax break.

by raducu 9y ago

spiderfarmer 9y ago

Exactly. Generously donating to a charity (or worst case: an anti-abortion fund) has nothing to do with empathy. Even in church I have heard people say the most insensitive things about less fortunate people (sure, she was raped by this violent rapist, but she wants an abortion, tssk!). The most empathic, loving and caring people I know aren't in church.

pwinnski 9y ago

Could I not restate your comment as "Ignore the measurable stats, my anecdotal experience suggests a lack of empathy?" In my experience, those who are most empathetic are generous in spirit, which would include not necessarily revealing to you that they are very religious, as well as in generosity toward those in need.

tinymollusk 9y ago
The comparison is valid only if monetary generosity is linked with empathy. It seems as unproven a statement as saying monetary giving frees people from the dirtier emotional work of empathizing. Societally, not sure it matters much. OTOH, I think it's probably more fair to compare church giving relative to the tax breaks they receive, rather than simply say they give a lot. They do, but it's amplified by a tax deduction, which isn't available to emotionally supporting/empathetic people. There is, of course, no reason someone couldn't be in both camps, but this comment is long and rambling already.
- prepend 9y ago
  This is interesting. How would you quantify empathy? It’s pretty hard to compare. Perhaps donations isn’t the right measure. What is more accurate?
  - tinymollusk 9y ago
    I'm not sure I have a solution for quantifying. Even defining "empathetic acts" is something I struggle with. To me, the crux is whether someone puts themselves in the shoes of a less fortunate person. You can do this without helping, just like you can help without doing this. Anecdotally, the homeless people I've spent time talking to seem to appreciate the conversation (or maybe being treated as a human being?) as much or more than the dollar or two I frequently give. Utilitarianism might suggest donations as a decent proxy. Can't say I disagree, although I'd like to know how generous churches can be if they didn't receive a tax break.