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It’s…a hard problem. I think it’s normal and natural for young people to explore their bodies & sexuality and share that experience with each other. It’s fraugh

It’s…a hard problem. I think it’s normal and natural for young people to explore their bodies & sexuality and share that experience with each other. It’s fraught on all sides with problems, though—when it gets shared with the world, either by choice or by betrayal; when the people involved are very young or even prepubescent; when adults use their power and maturity to exploit them; and so on. I started having sex when I was 14, after waiting for a long time with the same partner, and I feel like I personally was mature enough to handle it responsibly. That doesn’t mean all 14-year-olds should be doing that. And the concept of consent here, doing normal activities like having sex and sharing images of yourself, is murky—I did things that were illegal, but (I feel) neither wrong nor harmful. Maybe the law just needs to be more adaptable somehow. But I feel like there’s always going to be tension between expressing yourself and being protected from exploitation.

sillysaurus3 9y ago
Apparently in Germany the age of consent is 14, and if someone over 21 interacts with someone near 14, a hearing can be convened to determine whether this was justified. I heard this secondhand on Reddit, so I have no idea whether it's true, effective, or what the implications would be. But it seemed like a sensible and tidy system, if one existed. (EDIT: indeed, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe#Germany https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe#Germ...) I was similarly active at around 14, and it didn't really affect me much. But on the other hand, that's only a few years after it's even possible, so it's hard to grok the gravity of it. Especially at that age. You're right – it's simply hard to figure out how much protection, and where, should be applied.
- mschuster91 9y ago
  > I heard this secondhand on Reddit, so I have no idea whether it's true, effective, or what the implications would be. as a German, yes this is correct. Additionally: as long as both involved are >14, the parent(s) have to file a complaint, which is the reason why these cases are very rare - even for e.g. 13/15 combination (which would be illegal) I don't know any case without having to resort to Google. Both courts and the general public treat the entire matter responsibly, although the latter has shifted a bit, if one involved party is a refugee - that sends the German alt-right into a frenzy every time there is any hint of suspicion. But still, it's far, far away from what hits HN/Reddit every couple of months from the US.
mschuster91 9y ago
> Maybe the law just needs to be more adaptable somehow. It is, in theory, with judges. However mandatory minimum sentences or sex-offender entries have a massive negative effect here.

sillysaurus3 9y ago

Apparently in Germany the age of consent is 14, and if someone over 21 interacts with someone near 14, a hearing can be convened to determine whether this was justified. I heard this secondhand on Reddit, so I have no idea whether it's true, effective, or what the implications would be. But it seemed like a sensible and tidy system, if one existed. (EDIT: indeed, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe#Germany https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe#Germ...) I was similarly active at around 14, and it didn't really affect me much. But on the other hand, that's only a few years after it's even possible, so it's hard to grok the gravity of it. Especially at that age. You're right – it's simply hard to figure out how much protection, and where, should be applied.

mschuster91 9y ago
> I heard this secondhand on Reddit, so I have no idea whether it's true, effective, or what the implications would be. as a German, yes this is correct. Additionally: as long as both involved are >14, the parent(s) have to file a complaint, which is the reason why these cases are very rare - even for e.g. 13/15 combination (which would be illegal) I don't know any case without having to resort to Google. Both courts and the general public treat the entire matter responsibly, although the latter has shifted a bit, if one involved party is a refugee - that sends the German alt-right into a frenzy every time there is any hint of suspicion. But still, it's far, far away from what hits HN/Reddit every couple of months from the US.

mschuster91 9y ago

> Maybe the law just needs to be more adaptable somehow. It is, in theory, with judges. However mandatory minimum sentences or sex-offender entries have a massive negative effect here.