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Doesn't it bother you that when you're late you're wasting other people's time and causing them stress? If you know you can't commit to being on time, why agree

by Veen 9y ago

Doesn't it bother you that when you're late you're wasting other people's time and causing them stress? If you know you can't commit to being on time, why agree to it in the first place? Just tell them you'll be there some time between X and Y. It might be nice to live on "Kenyan time" but it's not economically or socially efficient. For me, waiting around for someone is wasted time that I would otherwise have spent doing something more productive or pleasurable. EDIT: One of the skills I associate with being a fully functional adult is the ability to account for traffic problems, their personal life, and so on when they make plans. Obviously, unforeseen events can't be helped, so I'm not annoyed with someone who is late once or twice, but if they're persistently late I'll make a negative judgement about their ability to manage themselves properly.

watwut 9y ago
Why would someone being late on party or other similar socual activity stressed you? Makes no sense to me. In general, many people tend to stress over things that should not elicit that much emotional response - nothing is in danger in this case and no harm is being done. I agree with the opinion that if you demand much punctuality for non work events, to the point that you get angry at people being late for evening beer or party, then you are high maintennance friend. As for your other questions, if it is generally known that agreement to party at four means "sometime after four" then it means exactly that. All participants know people show up after, so they are not bothered.
- PhasmaFelis 9y ago
  > Why would someone being late on party or other similar socual activity stressed you? I dunno. Why would making it to something on time stress you? The answer to both is, it doesn't matter. You don't need a detailed understanding of someone's psychology to understand that doing X stresses them out and it would be kinder not to do it.
  - ufo 9y ago
    > Why would making it to something on time stress you? If you are doing something before it is time to leave you might need to rush it to be able to leave on time. Then, after you leave you might get stuck in traffic or come across another unpredictable thing in which case you get worried that you might not make it on time. > understanding of someone's psychology I think punctuality is more of a cultural construction thing than an individual one. When I am in my home country I don't think twice if someone is late by 15 minutes but if I am in one of those super punctual countries I start worrying that something might be wrong when that happens. There are also differenct expectations of punctuality depending on the context. If it is a work related meeting then it is very important to get on time but if it is for a social activity then less punctuality is expected.
  - watwut 9y ago
    I haven't said any of that stresses me. I tend to be on time anyway, actually. It is true that when friend is angry with me or yell at me, I don't like that. Also, I prefer friendship of people who don't expect me to be perfect and don't act like primadonnas when things are not their way or are not super perfect.

by Veen 9y ago

watwut 9y ago

Why would someone being late on party or other similar socual activity stressed you? Makes no sense to me. In general, many people tend to stress over things that should not elicit that much emotional response - nothing is in danger in this case and no harm is being done. I agree with the opinion that if you demand much punctuality for non work events, to the point that you get angry at people being late for evening beer or party, then you are high maintennance friend. As for your other questions, if it is generally known that agreement to party at four means "sometime after four" then it means exactly that. All participants know people show up after, so they are not bothered.

PhasmaFelis 9y ago
> Why would someone being late on party or other similar socual activity stressed you? I dunno. Why would making it to something on time stress you? The answer to both is, it doesn't matter. You don't need a detailed understanding of someone's psychology to understand that doing X stresses them out and it would be kinder not to do it.
- ufo 9y ago
  > Why would making it to something on time stress you? If you are doing something before it is time to leave you might need to rush it to be able to leave on time. Then, after you leave you might get stuck in traffic or come across another unpredictable thing in which case you get worried that you might not make it on time. > understanding of someone's psychology I think punctuality is more of a cultural construction thing than an individual one. When I am in my home country I don't think twice if someone is late by 15 minutes but if I am in one of those super punctual countries I start worrying that something might be wrong when that happens. There are also differenct expectations of punctuality depending on the context. If it is a work related meeting then it is very important to get on time but if it is for a social activity then less punctuality is expected.
- watwut 9y ago
  I haven't said any of that stresses me. I tend to be on time anyway, actually. It is true that when friend is angry with me or yell at me, I don't like that. Also, I prefer friendship of people who don't expect me to be perfect and don't act like primadonnas when things are not their way or are not super perfect.