4 ms·

I'd be interested to hear more about what's going on that has led to these life changes?

0xcoffee 9y ago
The short version is that loneliness is crippling me, whereas in the past I used to find comfort in technology. For whatever reason this comfort is gone, and I long for human contact. However by nature I am very introverted. Not socially anxious, just I get extremely tired around people, and in general can't hold a conversation about any non-tech topic. Also I am a cold/distant person with relative little emotions, not sure why. The couple of friends I had were similar to me, and we can be comfortably cold together. However I work with very warm and caring people from diverse backgrounds, and recognize that I love the qualities they posses. Rather then be happy with who I am, I figured it must be possible to 'train' emotions, so that I become an overall more positive person. However as a result I now attend around at least 1 social event a week, which goes ok. But sometimes if there are multiple events planned close to each other, my sociability drops off a cliff, but I have trouble recognizing when it happens. Not sure if I should dial back and be happy with the progress I made, or keep going and try to focus on breaking this sociability wall I am hitting.
- dhubris 9y ago
  Have you considered that you may fall into the ASD range of Asperger? I mention this because what you described ticks a couple of the common traits. Understanding yourself better can help with your goals. Best of luck. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
- codebolt 9y ago
  Speaking from personal experience, pushing yourself to socialize more is the way to go. At least it worked wonders from me. In my mid-twenties I changed from being a hermit to going out several times a week and continuously meeting a lot of new people. Now in my thirties I'm married with kids, and I don't think I would've ended up where I am now had it not been for me taking a much more proactive stance to my own personal development. It sounds cliche, but in my experience it is never too late to change your own psychology and behaviors, but it does take a lot of work and persistence.

The short version is that loneliness is crippling me, whereas in the past I used to find comfort in technology. For whatever reason this comfort is gone, and I long for human contact. However by nature I am very introverted. Not socially anxious, just I get extremely tired around people, and in general can't hold a conversation about any non-tech topic. Also I am a cold/distant person with relative little emotions, not sure why. The couple of friends I had were similar to me, and we can be comfortably cold together. However I work with very warm and caring people from diverse backgrounds, and recognize that I love the qualities they posses. Rather then be happy with who I am, I figured it must be possible to 'train' emotions, so that I become an overall more positive person. However as a result I now attend around at least 1 social event a week, which goes ok. But sometimes if there are multiple events planned close to each other, my sociability drops off a cliff, but I have trouble recognizing when it happens. Not sure if I should dial back and be happy with the progress I made, or keep going and try to focus on breaking this sociability wall I am hitting.

dhubris 9y ago
Have you considered that you may fall into the ASD range of Asperger? I mention this because what you described ticks a couple of the common traits. Understanding yourself better can help with your goals. Best of luck. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome
codebolt 9y ago
Speaking from personal experience, pushing yourself to socialize more is the way to go. At least it worked wonders from me. In my mid-twenties I changed from being a hermit to going out several times a week and continuously meeting a lot of new people. Now in my thirties I'm married with kids, and I don't think I would've ended up where I am now had it not been for me taking a much more proactive stance to my own personal development. It sounds cliche, but in my experience it is never too late to change your own psychology and behaviors, but it does take a lot of work and persistence.