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Paul Ford has a great riff on that: https://medium.com/message/how-to-be-polite-9bf1e69e888c https://medium.com/message/how-to-be-polite-9bf1e69e888c > Here’s
by TrevorAustin 9y ago
Paul Ford has a great riff on that: https://medium.com/message/how-to-be-polite-9bf1e69e888c https://medium.com/message/how-to-be-polite-9bf1e69e888c
> Here’s a polite person’s trick, one that has never failed me. I will share it with you because I like and respect you, and it is clear to me that you’ll know how to apply it wisely: When you are at a party and are thrust into conversation with someone, see how long you can hold off before talking about what they do for a living. And when that painful lull arrives, be the master of it. I have come to revel in that agonizing first pause, because I know that I can push a conversation through. Just ask the other person what they do, and right after they tell you, say: “Wow. That sounds hard.”
> Because nearly everyone in the world believes their job to be difficult. I once went to a party and met a very beautiful woman whose job was to help celebrities wear Harry Winston jewelry. I could tell that she was disappointed to be introduced to this rumpled giant in an off-brand shirt, but when I told her that her job sounded difficult to me she brightened and spoke for 30 straight minutes about sapphires and Jessica Simpson. She kept touching me as she talked. I forgave her for that. I didn’t reveal a single detail about myself, including my name. Eventually someone pulled me back into the party. The celebrity jewelry coordinator smiled and grabbed my hand and said, “I like you!” She seemed so relieved to have unburdened herself. I counted it as a great accomplishment. Maybe a hundred times since I’ve said, “wow, that sounds hard” to a stranger, always to great effect. I stay home with my kids and have no life left to me, so take this party trick, my gift to you.
- kaybe 9y agoIf you think this sounds stupid - try, it works surprisingly well!
- trentmb 9y agoI think I had someone try this on me- I just recall thinking they were a patronizing ass.
- adrianratnapala 9y agoIt probably only works on people who don't get that reaction often. I've been a physicist and a computer engineer the "that's sounds hard" reaction is a bit embarrassing. Also it can be a conversation closer because of the subtext that "I won't understand anything meaningful that you have to say about it". So I certainly wouldn't use this technique on say a neurosurgeon I meet at some random party.
- StavrosK 9y agoPersonally, I wouldn't use "that sounds hard!" on anyone, as it sounds a bit patronizing, but I would definitely ask a neurosurgeon questions about their job until they were tired of answering. What's not fascinating about neuroscience?!
- weinzierl 9y ago> When you are at a party and are thrust into conversation with someone, see how long you can hold off before talking about what they do for a living. This is also a cultural thing: When I prepared for my first trip to Brasil I was told that I shouldn't ask people what they do for a living and that it was considered rude. I still don't know if this is really true but one thing I remember sure enough: Wherever I was in Brasil, I got asked about my family a lot.