>My conclusion is that you haven't changed, what changed was the context. First you were a child, then you were a parent. Yes, but I was crappy parent for 10 y

>My conclusion is that you haven't changed, what changed was the context. First you were a child, then you were a parent. Yes, but I was crappy parent for 10 years, not just a short time. I raised a daughter to adulthood poorly, and I have regretted it and have had to make amends. So context didn't change at all. What changed was I saw the future of a family that treated each other badly, and I was so desperate for that not to happen, I was able to change myself. I had to change how I treated people, and then they changed around me. Also, I can confirm with full confidence that when my wife and I were first together, I was not grumpy and snippy. She told me that was one of the things she really liked about me, was how calm and reasonable I was. Perhaps, the family part coming along could be considered a context change as kids came into the picture, the stresses of life, etc... and this brought out the "dormant" grouchy person. But I have found that every person has a limit. Everyone can go crazy, turn crabby, or become mean and selfish under the right circumstances. But not everyone will fight against it.