One thing that I've come to appreciate in adulthood is to what extent conscious, verbal thought can change the way I think. The answer at first seemed "not very

One thing that I've come to appreciate in adulthood is to what extent conscious, verbal thought can change the way I think. The answer at first seemed "not very much" which frustrated me and stymied my ability to pick up new things or deal with maladaptive behaviors. I thought it was just my brain getting older, but I've since realized that I'm still quite plastic, it's just a more implicit process than I figured and being consciously preoccupied with it is counterproductive. It feels more like changing the momentum of a rolling boulder, or the moon tugging on the ocean to make tides. Understanding that the part of me that I feel I have most control over plays a limited if crucial role in what I become has made life a bit less stressful and my thinking a bit more effective.