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> One woman said she was riding a Ferris wheel at Coney Island after a company event when a co-worker suddenly took her hand and put it on his crotch. I have a

> One woman said she was riding a Ferris wheel at Coney Island after a company event when a co-worker suddenly took her hand and put it on his crotch. I have absolutely no idea why someone would think this is OK to do. Generally I can try to piece together how someone might rationalize their behavior but the best I can come up with on this one is: alcohol.

madeofpalk 9y ago
Best one I can come up with is: he's a creep.
kelukelugames 9y ago
Me too. I've heard the "he grabbed my hand and to put it on his crotch in public" story before. Did people learn this from porn? Was it done in some John Cusack movie? Apparently penis in popcorn is a thing and it's from a movie. https://www.google.com/search?ei=wZs-WoqmLIKOjwO435PoCQ&q=penis+in+popcorn https://www.google.com/search?ei=wZs-WoqmLIKOjwO435PoCQ&q=pe...
- baron816 9y ago
  Schools should probably start teaching kids how to appropriately make a pass at a girl. Most movies seem to show guys “courageously” lunging in randomly for a kiss. The advice a kid gets from his friend’s older brother is going to be much worse. I’m sure 12 year old boys would appreciate learning how to know if a girl likes them, how to get a girlfriend, how to go in for a kiss, etc. as that’s 97% of what they think about. And doing things the right way early on and seeing success would probably translate well to good behavior later on.
  - craftyguy 9y ago
    I wish this could be taught. But, sadly, given how many religious conservatives are rabidly against teaching children anything about anything that could maybe lead to sex, I can easily see there being a major defense against this because schools are "trying to get young kids to have sex."
  - JoeDaDude 9y ago
    This is a little tongue-in-cheek, but it does get you thinking about how movie portray the "courageous" male: [1] http://www.cracked.com/blog/how-men-are-trained-to-think-sexual-assault-no-big-deal/ http://www.cracked.com/blog/how-men-are-trained-to-think-sex...
TheAdamAndChe 9y ago
The fact that this happened isn't surprising. There are always creeps in the world, and unless we all live in bubbles that separate men from women, there always will be. What matters more is what happened afterwards. Did the woman report it to HR? Was there a response? Was he fired? Without context, these stories are useless.
- dominotw 9y ago
  There is no way to prove that it actually happened. Not sure what HR can really do in cases like these or what is even expected of them.
  - Operyl 9y ago
    On its own, sure, but when you have 5 women saying it happened? 10? It’s always valuable reporting things to HR.
    - dominotw 9y ago
      Sorry I wasn't implying she shouldn't report to HR. I was responding to previous comment which said "What did HR do?". So like you are suggesting it could have been the first report against him and HR might not have not done anything, which doesn't necessarily imply they are complicit in harassment.
freeflight 9y ago
That incident happened after a company event, isn't that considered private time? I mean, she would have had to agree to go with the co-worker, during their off-hours, in the first place and he might have interpreted her willingness to go along as a signal of mutual interest (romantic, sexual) in each other? That isn't meant as an excuse for such creepy, if not straight up criminal, behavior. But as somebody with some social issues of his own, I can relate quite a bit with not being able to properly interpret social and body cues. To me, the vast majority of people are walking blackboxes where I have no clue how they would react to most actions of my own. Which boils down to me acting rather passively in most social situations out of fear I might break some unspoken rule, misinterpret the current mood in the room/between people.
- brian-armstrong 9y ago
  A good rule of thumb is, if you're not sure, don't stick someone's hand on your crotch.
  - freeflight 9y ago
    Where did I suggest that's anything to go by? But I can easily relate to a situation where signals are misinterpreted, which goes both ways: Missing out on advances by others because you don't realize them as such or you interpret them as such and fear of having it misinterpreted and as such don't act on them. The last time I had "body contact" with a woman she literally had to rip my clothes off and throw me on her bed, even tho I wasn't comfortable with that situation at all and stated as much to her, that I'd rather not have intercourse on the first "date". She didn't care and I was overwhelmed by that situation, only way out there would have been to handle her roughly. But she assumed I was at her place exactly for that, while I was at her place for exactly the reason we talked about: Seeing how much stuff she had because I wanted her to help with moving out. Sorry for not sticking with the old stereotype of "if a woman invited you over it's to have sex". That wasn't pleasant at all, she supposedly didn't remember much of it due to being too drunk. I probably could push charges, if anybody would actually believe me, but to what end? I'm only writing this to put context to my previous statement: People are complicated, social is complicated, for some among us even more so than for others. In that regard, I find it really sad that we readily apply Hanlon's Razor to all kinds of problems but rarely, if ever, to social interactions.

madeofpalk 9y ago

Best one I can come up with is: he's a creep.

kelukelugames 9y ago

Me too. I've heard the "he grabbed my hand and to put it on his crotch in public" story before. Did people learn this from porn? Was it done in some John Cusack movie? Apparently penis in popcorn is a thing and it's from a movie. https://www.google.com/search?ei=wZs-WoqmLIKOjwO435PoCQ&q=penis+in+popcorn https://www.google.com/search?ei=wZs-WoqmLIKOjwO435PoCQ&q=pe...

baron816 9y ago
Schools should probably start teaching kids how to appropriately make a pass at a girl. Most movies seem to show guys “courageously” lunging in randomly for a kiss. The advice a kid gets from his friend’s older brother is going to be much worse. I’m sure 12 year old boys would appreciate learning how to know if a girl likes them, how to get a girlfriend, how to go in for a kiss, etc. as that’s 97% of what they think about. And doing things the right way early on and seeing success would probably translate well to good behavior later on.
- craftyguy 9y ago
  I wish this could be taught. But, sadly, given how many religious conservatives are rabidly against teaching children anything about anything that could maybe lead to sex, I can easily see there being a major defense against this because schools are "trying to get young kids to have sex."
- JoeDaDude 9y ago
  This is a little tongue-in-cheek, but it does get you thinking about how movie portray the "courageous" male: [1] http://www.cracked.com/blog/how-men-are-trained-to-think-sexual-assault-no-big-deal/ http://www.cracked.com/blog/how-men-are-trained-to-think-sex...

TheAdamAndChe 9y ago

The fact that this happened isn't surprising. There are always creeps in the world, and unless we all live in bubbles that separate men from women, there always will be. What matters more is what happened afterwards. Did the woman report it to HR? Was there a response? Was he fired? Without context, these stories are useless.

dominotw 9y ago
There is no way to prove that it actually happened. Not sure what HR can really do in cases like these or what is even expected of them.
- Operyl 9y ago
  On its own, sure, but when you have 5 women saying it happened? 10? It’s always valuable reporting things to HR.
  - dominotw 9y ago
    Sorry I wasn't implying she shouldn't report to HR. I was responding to previous comment which said "What did HR do?". So like you are suggesting it could have been the first report against him and HR might not have not done anything, which doesn't necessarily imply they are complicit in harassment.

freeflight 9y ago

That incident happened after a company event, isn't that considered private time? I mean, she would have had to agree to go with the co-worker, during their off-hours, in the first place and he might have interpreted her willingness to go along as a signal of mutual interest (romantic, sexual) in each other? That isn't meant as an excuse for such creepy, if not straight up criminal, behavior. But as somebody with some social issues of his own, I can relate quite a bit with not being able to properly interpret social and body cues. To me, the vast majority of people are walking blackboxes where I have no clue how they would react to most actions of my own. Which boils down to me acting rather passively in most social situations out of fear I might break some unspoken rule, misinterpret the current mood in the room/between people.

brian-armstrong 9y ago
A good rule of thumb is, if you're not sure, don't stick someone's hand on your crotch.
- freeflight 9y ago
  Where did I suggest that's anything to go by? But I can easily relate to a situation where signals are misinterpreted, which goes both ways: Missing out on advances by others because you don't realize them as such or you interpret them as such and fear of having it misinterpreted and as such don't act on them. The last time I had "body contact" with a woman she literally had to rip my clothes off and throw me on her bed, even tho I wasn't comfortable with that situation at all and stated as much to her, that I'd rather not have intercourse on the first "date". She didn't care and I was overwhelmed by that situation, only way out there would have been to handle her roughly. But she assumed I was at her place exactly for that, while I was at her place for exactly the reason we talked about: Seeing how much stuff she had because I wanted her to help with moving out. Sorry for not sticking with the old stereotype of "if a woman invited you over it's to have sex". That wasn't pleasant at all, she supposedly didn't remember much of it due to being too drunk. I probably could push charges, if anybody would actually believe me, but to what end? I'm only writing this to put context to my previous statement: People are complicated, social is complicated, for some among us even more so than for others. In that regard, I find it really sad that we readily apply Hanlon's Razor to all kinds of problems but rarely, if ever, to social interactions.