3 ms·

I assure you men can suffer from stalking on dating sites too.

jordigh 9y ago
Let's not bring whataboutism into this. The problem overwhelmingly and vastly disproportionately affects women. Yes, men are affected too, but if we have to start anywhere to address the problem, focussing mostly on women and less on men would solve most of the problem.
- Kluny 9y ago
  I hate that attitude. Stalking is a problem that can only be solved by both genders working together. You're not going to get any men on your side by acting like it doesn't matter that men are stalked as well.
  - jordigh 9y ago
    It matters less because there's less of them. If you have to focus on where resources should go (e.g. time and money) most should go to women. Why do men have such a hard time accepting that women have it harder?
- briandear 9y ago
  > The problem overwhelmingly and vastly disproportionately affects women. Any proof of that? > Focusing mostly on women ... would solve most of the problem Any proof of that? Everything you wrote is simply sexist to the core. Why does there need to be a focus on a specific gender to address a problem?
  - ben_w 9y ago
    > Why does there need to be a focus on a specific gender to address a problem? Because everything is broken and we are mere mortals with limited attention and ability to improve the world and shortcuts are always tempting. This particular problem probably varies by nation, but it is only bad to stereotype like this when you either assume that the partial solution is a total solution, or when your perspective fails and you cause more harm than good with your solution. Both of those failure modes happen. Yet, all the evidence I have seen says men are more likely to harass than women are. Same effort should provide a greater benefit by focusing on male harassment… except that this is online, so “does this text look harassing?” is probably how this should be handled specifically by OKC, but now I’m definitely guessing.
  - DanBC 9y ago
    It's baffling to me when you keep denying the reality of sexual violence: the perpetrators are overwhelmingly male. The victims are mostly female. When we look at online harassment we see more male than female perpetrators, and more female than male victims, especially when we look at the most serious offences. No one credible disputes these figures.
    - belorn 9y ago
      For sexual violence most victims are female, but it is not the complete picture. For violence, most victims are male, with proportions similar to that of sexual violence for women but with an total higher occurrence rate. If we go closer to crimes that happens online, here is some exact numbers for related crimes (using Swedish data): Threat of violence: 5.3%M 5.9%F. Harassment: 4.8% M 6.1% F. Stalking: Of the total, 75% F, 25% M. But we can also go deeper. Reported death threats directed at men are 700% more common than threats of sexual violence directed at women (2015). Death threats is the single most common reported type of threat, covering 39% of all reports. The most common reported threat directed at women is to unlawful publish photos, 10% of all reported cases. Practically all threat directed at men or women was made online or via SMS. The report notes that men is more likely to receive threats from strangers, while women are more likely to receive threats from past sexual relationships (40%). Online harassment is complex, and Scandinavian countries has a strong reputation in social science of having large and good data. https://www.bra.se/download/18.5e2a4a6b14ab166759985c/1422612591546/2015_6_Polisanm%C3%A4lda+hot+och+kr%C3%A4nkningar+mot+enskilda+personer+via+internet.pdf https://www.bra.se/download/18.5e2a4a6b14ab166759985c/142261...

Let's not bring whataboutism into this. The problem overwhelmingly and vastly disproportionately affects women. Yes, men are affected too, but if we have to start anywhere to address the problem, focussing mostly on women and less on men would solve most of the problem.

Kluny 9y ago
I hate that attitude. Stalking is a problem that can only be solved by both genders working together. You're not going to get any men on your side by acting like it doesn't matter that men are stalked as well.
- jordigh 9y ago
  It matters less because there's less of them. If you have to focus on where resources should go (e.g. time and money) most should go to women. Why do men have such a hard time accepting that women have it harder?
briandear 9y ago
> The problem overwhelmingly and vastly disproportionately affects women. Any proof of that? > Focusing mostly on women ... would solve most of the problem Any proof of that? Everything you wrote is simply sexist to the core. Why does there need to be a focus on a specific gender to address a problem?
- ben_w 9y ago
  > Why does there need to be a focus on a specific gender to address a problem? Because everything is broken and we are mere mortals with limited attention and ability to improve the world and shortcuts are always tempting. This particular problem probably varies by nation, but it is only bad to stereotype like this when you either assume that the partial solution is a total solution, or when your perspective fails and you cause more harm than good with your solution. Both of those failure modes happen. Yet, all the evidence I have seen says men are more likely to harass than women are. Same effort should provide a greater benefit by focusing on male harassment… except that this is online, so “does this text look harassing?” is probably how this should be handled specifically by OKC, but now I’m definitely guessing.
- DanBC 9y ago
  It's baffling to me when you keep denying the reality of sexual violence: the perpetrators are overwhelmingly male. The victims are mostly female. When we look at online harassment we see more male than female perpetrators, and more female than male victims, especially when we look at the most serious offences. No one credible disputes these figures.
  - belorn 9y ago
    For sexual violence most victims are female, but it is not the complete picture. For violence, most victims are male, with proportions similar to that of sexual violence for women but with an total higher occurrence rate. If we go closer to crimes that happens online, here is some exact numbers for related crimes (using Swedish data): Threat of violence: 5.3%M 5.9%F. Harassment: 4.8% M 6.1% F. Stalking: Of the total, 75% F, 25% M. But we can also go deeper. Reported death threats directed at men are 700% more common than threats of sexual violence directed at women (2015). Death threats is the single most common reported type of threat, covering 39% of all reports. The most common reported threat directed at women is to unlawful publish photos, 10% of all reported cases. Practically all threat directed at men or women was made online or via SMS. The report notes that men is more likely to receive threats from strangers, while women are more likely to receive threats from past sexual relationships (40%). Online harassment is complex, and Scandinavian countries has a strong reputation in social science of having large and good data. https://www.bra.se/download/18.5e2a4a6b14ab166759985c/1422612591546/2015_6_Polisanm%C3%A4lda+hot+och+kr%C3%A4nkningar+mot+enskilda+personer+via+internet.pdf https://www.bra.se/download/18.5e2a4a6b14ab166759985c/142261...