3 ms·

Why kids first, spouses second?

by fezzl 16y ago

frossie 16y ago
Because they, as parents, are entirely responsible for the kid's very existence. Adults are, to a large degree, responsible for themselves, much as we may love them.
- deleted 16y ago
  [deleted]
  - frossie 16y ago
    Dude, the spouse was above computers. What more do you want? :-) If both me and my kid needed a kidney you think I'd let my husband give his kidney to me? Second priority != neglect
    - deleted 16y ago
      [deleted]
fezzl 16y ago
I'm not doubting that it should be that way, I was more curious as to the reasoning. Downvoters are quick on the trigger, aren't they...
- jacquesm 16y ago
  Because they are dependents, and your spouse can supposedly fend for herself/himself if the situation is otherwise normal. It also gives your spouse a break, after all somebody will have to take care of the child and if it isn't you then most cases it will be them. The biggest gift you can give your significant other just after delivery (and in the case of the lady after breastfeeding stops (if you do that)) is a good nights sleep. > Downvoters are quick on the trigger, aren't they... Yes, it's annoying.
tokenadult 16y ago
Good question. I think it's important for the kids and their well being to take care of the relationship with the other parent of the kids, first and foremost.
petercooper 16y ago
I think having an order is nonsense. Who gets the most attention should depend on the context and the seriousness of whatever's going on. If my kid wants to play but my wife is bawling her eyes out over something, the kid isn't coming first in that situation.
- jacquesm 16y ago
  Hm. Ok, that's one interpretation that I didn't intend. As a general rule, outside of exceptional situations, spouses take care of their kids together before they get around to taking care of themselves. Kids are considered dependents and as such both parents will find that they will instinctively turn towards their children first in times of need. Whether that's always the rational thing to do is a different question but that seems to be the normal order of things. When your child is doing fine and your spouse needs you the order is obviously different, need trumps play any day.
  - duck 16y ago
    When we first became parents I put my son at the top spot and thus my wife and I have talked about this a good bit. We found that if we focus on each other it makes it overall better for everyone, including the kids. I guess how we look at it is family is #1 instead of breaking it down.

Why kids first, spouses second?

by fezzl 16y ago

Why kids first, spouses second?

Because they, as parents, are entirely responsible for the kid's very existence. Adults are, to a large degree, responsible for themselves, much as we may love them.

deleted 16y ago
[deleted]
- frossie 16y ago
  Dude, the spouse was above computers. What more do you want? :-) If both me and my kid needed a kidney you think I'd let my husband give his kidney to me? Second priority != neglect
  - deleted 16y ago
    [deleted]

fezzl 16y ago

I'm not doubting that it should be that way, I was more curious as to the reasoning. Downvoters are quick on the trigger, aren't they...

jacquesm 16y ago
Because they are dependents, and your spouse can supposedly fend for herself/himself if the situation is otherwise normal. It also gives your spouse a break, after all somebody will have to take care of the child and if it isn't you then most cases it will be them. The biggest gift you can give your significant other just after delivery (and in the case of the lady after breastfeeding stops (if you do that)) is a good nights sleep. > Downvoters are quick on the trigger, aren't they... Yes, it's annoying.

tokenadult 16y ago

Good question. I think it's important for the kids and their well being to take care of the relationship with the other parent of the kids, first and foremost.

petercooper 16y ago

I think having an order is nonsense. Who gets the most attention should depend on the context and the seriousness of whatever's going on. If my kid wants to play but my wife is bawling her eyes out over something, the kid isn't coming first in that situation.

jacquesm 16y ago
Hm. Ok, that's one interpretation that I didn't intend. As a general rule, outside of exceptional situations, spouses take care of their kids together before they get around to taking care of themselves. Kids are considered dependents and as such both parents will find that they will instinctively turn towards their children first in times of need. Whether that's always the rational thing to do is a different question but that seems to be the normal order of things. When your child is doing fine and your spouse needs you the order is obviously different, need trumps play any day.
- duck 16y ago
  When we first became parents I put my son at the top spot and thus my wife and I have talked about this a good bit. We found that if we focus on each other it makes it overall better for everyone, including the kids. I guess how we look at it is family is #1 instead of breaking it down.